In "Aphorisms", it is said: "Halal and indifferent behavior becomes more and more meaningful over time." ”
If there is no 100 days of red, the enthusiasm will eventually fade, and what remains is cold, indifferent, and cold.
Everyone wants to be a warm person, but there is a limit to warmth.
Sometimes, we want to be as hot as the sun; Sometimes, we have to be as cold as the moonlight.
When people reach middle age, if you are used to being "cold", you will find that "cold" does not make people feel cold, but also carries wordless tenderness and quiet maturity.
Workplace: Always sit on the "cold bench" several times.
Everyone is worried about sitting on a cold bench. Because at this time, it means that a person is marginalized, colleagues do not want to associate with you, the boss is not optimistic about you, and the performance of the work will also be ignored.
In fact, the workplace is not a one-person workplace, everyone is competing. Even if you have three heads and six arms, you can't "fight a hundred with one".
The writer Ma De wrote such a story: a friend of his was often harassed by his boss and felt very uncomfortable. Several times, his boss criticized him fiercely in front of the whole unit, without caring about face.
My friend thought indignantly: "Instead of being angry every day, it's better to fight with each other." ”
Then I thought, "Wait a minute." ”
After that, my friend drew the word "positive" on a notebook. If you are angry with your boss once, draw a stroke, and if you draw ten "positive" characters, you will take revenge.
It's very dramatic that when the unit moved, my friend lost the notebook; The boss who had troubled him was also dismissed; The friend was promoted once.
There is such a sentence in the story: "The more emotional you are, the more you screw up to do it." ”
Smart people know that being cold in the workplace is actually a test of career and the best time for a person to recharge.
There is a saying that the official level crushes people to death.
It's useless to be arrogant, you can only bow your head, then hold back your temper and do your best. After a while, you will "float" again. After all, bosses aren't eternal, and you're not solidified. As the saying goes, the iron battalion, the flowing soldiers.
After sitting on the cold bench a few times, you can really see yourself clearly, understand the workplace, and be able to work steadily.
Dilemma: Stay calm, there will always be a way out.
When you reach middle age, what traps you is not only your job, but also your career planning, mortgage and car loan, life direction, etc.
Someone said, "If you have money, you can solve 80% of the problem." ”
Think about it, it's really like this, if people have money, they have confidence, no matter what they do, they have certainty, at least they can afford to lose; If you lose it, you still have a chance to do it again.
Sadly, there are always some people whose houses leak and rain overnight. Lose again and again, and life will reach the bottom.
How to get out of the slump? You have to figure it out by yourself, you can't sit still.
In "Philosophical Thoughts", the author Xuan Zhi wrote about such an incident: one of his classmates worked in Angola, Africa.
One day, a Wenzhou man broke into his classmate's office.
Wenzhou people said"I used the money I had on me as my travel expenses, and traveled through southern Africa to find my 'hometown'. ”
Being in a foreign country and meeting local people, the hanging heart is steady.
Surprisingly, Wenzhou people are not very familiar with English, and they don't know that there are natives. In a panic, the Wenzhou people said "Chinese, go".
As a result, Wenzhou people appeared in the "classmate's office".
As the saying goes, "There is no way to heaven and man." ”
Everyone wants to break into the world, but not many people succeed. Once you fail, how to find a silver lining. By wisdom, and by "cool head".
If you keep panicking and being struggling, you will keep falling, and maybe you will never have a chance to rise again, and you won't even have the ability to survive. How to spend the second half of your life is really hanging. What's more, the whole family will be affected.
Circle: It doesn't matter if you insist on being a cold sideliner, being gregarious or not.
In the "Theory of Friends", it is written: "It is natural that all gentlemen and gentlemen are friends with the same way, and villains and villains are friends with the same interests." ”We want to meet a group of like-minded people, and we want everyone to be gentlemen. But you really can't guarantee that the people you meet happen to meet your own dating standards.
In order to find friends, many people use the method of "audition" - attending all the dinners and drinking with everyone.
There are more friends, and the road is easier to walk. This is a kind of thinking logic, which is somewhat incompatible with reality.
Really smart people know that they all know - hundreds of friends are not as good as two or three confidants.
Mix in the circle, don't rush to know who is a gentleman and who is a villain, but watch from the sidelines, look at everyone's expressions, listen to everyone's words, and then analyze and judge.
If you don't meet the right friend, go it alone. At least, it won't be calculated by villains, and it won't be affected by other people's bad things.
Godson: Be cold and give your children the right to freedom.
Shakespeare said, "Love, like coal, burns and has to find a way to cool it." Let it be free, and it will burn a heart. ”"I'm all for my children", this is what many middle-aged people think. Everyone wants their children to fight and walk out of a golden road. But the girl is not satisfactory, and there is a distance from the requirements of her parents.
In psychology, there is a term called "desire to control". One person wants to control another person in terms of thought and action, and wants the other person to be obedient.
The opposite is true: the more controlling you are, the more disappointed you are in your children's behavior and behavior.
Good parents will definitely talk well and be friends with their children. The role of parents is to be a guide, not a controller. After all, children are not machines, they have their own ideas and will design their own blueprints.
Do unto others as you would have them do to you; Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you. When you calm down and think about it, you will find that while you are changing your children, you also need to change yourself.
Zhou Guoping said: "The best state of life is abundant quiet." Instead of enduring the emptiness after the excitement, it is better to enjoy the fulfillment in the cold. ”The best life is to keep indifference and look down on the excitement.
Middle age is the most difficult time in life, and it is also the commanding heights of life.
Be a little colder, so as not to fall into an irritable life.