AnxietyIt is an emotional state that everyone has.
As the saying goes: "If you are less than 100 years old, you will always have a thousand years of worries." ”
An ordinary person can encounter all kinds of problems every day, and it is normal to be anxious, and a slight anxiety will not affect a person's life.
But,Excessive anxiety can be a drag on your life.
Many times, it is not the thing itself that makes us anxious and afraid, but our anxiety.
The higher the level of anxiety and the longer the person, the more likely it is to develop distorted thought patterns, and the assessment and interpretation of reality are often unrealistic.
People who are overly anxious usually see the world in the following five ways:
Black-and-white mindset
The black-and-white mindset is:
They are convinced that if it is not good, it is bad; If you can't succeed, it's a complete failure, and you go to both extremes.
They think that things are either all bad or all good, and they don't see the complexity, the multifaceted nature of things, and there is no middle ground.
This extreme way of thinking will make us use a binary model to evaluate a person or a thing, either good or bad, and fail to see the complexity of the world and human nature, one size fits all.
Recently, Lily has made a new friend, and Millet is her hometown, enthusiastic, intelligent, and capable.
Lily likes this friend very much, and whenever she has time, she asks Xiaomi to go shopping, eat, and watch movies, and they get along very happily.
Once, they went on a trip together, and the magnolia flowers in the park bloomed very well, and Millet liked it so much that she was eager to try to pick one, and Lily especially disliked this behavior and tried her best to persuade her.
However, millet just doesn't listen, just pick one and don't pick more.
Lily looked at the magnolia flower in Xiaomi's palm, and then looked at this friend and didn't like it so much, it was like a pimple in her heart, and she felt that she had seen the wrong person, and then she and Xiaomi faded down.
People with a "black and white" mindset have intense relationships, and when it's good, you're flawless, and when it's bad, you're worthless.
It is easy for them to take extreme actions because of extreme cognition, and eventually completely destroy the relationship.
Excessively negative thought patterns
Excessive negative thinking refers to:
Seeing only the negative side of things and not seeing the positive side of things results in pessimism and anxiety about the world.
After Chen Chen scored the winning goal in a soccer match, the coach included him in the starting lineup of the varsity team, rather than as a substitute.
But he was restless and frantic, believing he didn't deserve to be in the starting line-up because the only reason he scored was a mistake made by the opposing goalkeeper.
In fact, he practiced very hard and was always one of the fastest players in the team, but he didn't see his strengths and the effort he put into success, but always worried about what if he didn't have good luck, if he made a mistake, if the opponent was particularly ......strong
These "what ifs" made him very anxious, and even affected his performance in the game, and in the end, as he expected, he made mistakes and was reduced to a "bench player".
Do you also ignore the positive and only see the negative when facing your success or achievements?
A mindset that catastrophizes everything
Catastrophic thinking means seeing everything as a disaster or making the worst assumptions based on the smallest signs.
Sissy's stomach hurt for three days, and she began to worry about her health.
Soon, she was completely frightened and couldn't sleep, believing that she must have some kind of allergy, or even stomach cancer, or that she might be pregnant.
The more information she looked up online, the more she felt that her situation was bad and the more pessimistic she became.
When she finally decided to see a doctor, she was convinced that she had only a few months to live.
But upon examination, she simply had irritable bowel syndrome, a common health problem caused by anxiety.
After that, she began to accept **, and soon her stomach did not hurt.
Have you ever had such an experience:
If your child misses the exam once, you feel that there is no hope for him in this life;
At work, if you make a small mistake, you feel like you're about to lose your job;
When I was a little sick and painful, I felt that I was going to die soon.
This is catastrophic thinking.
Excessive emotional thinking patterns
This mindset is:
Make decisions based on your own feelings and not on rational thinking.
Such people are in the mood for a hot head, and it is difficult for them to think clearly and rationally, and as long as they feel like it's real, they believe it to be true.
After each exam, Ali felt exhausted, because after each exam, she felt that she had done a bad job and that she would definitely fail the exam, which made her very anxious and consumed a lot of energy.
But in fact, her grades have always been good, basically she has never been bad, she has never been smashed.
After further discussing the matter with her parents, she realized that just because she felt bad after the test didn't mean she had bad grades.
Her feelings, probably come from her expectation, expecting herself to complete the exam in one go, and when she didn't, she felt that she had done badly.
Have you ever reasoned emotionally and judged things by their feelings rather than thinking rationally?
A mindset that strives for perfection
Many anxious people are perfectionists.
Perfectionists, either 0 or 100, feel that if they can't do something perfect, it's not worth doing.
Many people study, live, and do things all in pursuit of perfection, so they often procrastinate in the process, and they are not satisfied with their own pickiness, so they don't want to do it, and so on.
At work, Shin Shin is a heavy procrastinator, and every time she submits a report, she has to put it off until the end.
Before handing it in, she kept reading all kinds of reports and making all kinds of preparations, but she didn't use her pen, and she wouldn't start until it was really too late.
She said: I don't want to start because I am always dissatisfied with the plan, and I always think that I can find a better one, but often it is too late, so I can only hastily hand over errands.
This is perfectionism, either don't do it, or do it to be perfect.
Do you also have a bit of a perfectionist tendency in your work and life?
The first five ways of thinking are all extreme and distorted, and it is easy to affect a person's work and life.
You can also check yourself to see if you have any of these extreme thoughts.
Most of the following terms are related to cognitive distortions.
Over the next few days, notice if you often say or think of these dangerous words, either out loud or just in your heart
All; All of them; Have to; No.
Always; All things; Never; Should.
Every time; Have to; No one.
Have you ever said these words?
When do you say these words?
How did you feel when you said these words?
Is it true that these words describe your condition?
The next time you say these words, be aware that you are really right.
Anxiety, the most troubling thing, is that once we start to get anxious, it's hard to stop.
There is a famous psychology experiment called "Don't think about the pink elephant", and the participants were asked not to think about "a pink elephant" in the room, but all of them failed.
Try it: for the next minute, you don't think about a pink elephant.
Ready to get started!
Did you do it?
Probably not. In fact, the more we try not to think about something, the more we think about it.
When we are anxious, the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking almost completely strikes, so it is difficult for us to make logical judgments when we are anxious.
At such times, try to avoid rational thinking and try something completely different.
As Albert Einstein said, "No problem can be solved at the level of consciousness that produces it." ”
This sentence is difficult to understand, and in simple terms: low-dimensional problems should be solved in high-dimensional.
If we want to solve the problem of anxiety, we must jump out of the problem and solve the problem from a higher dimension.
We teach you a solution to jump out of anxiety and face anxiety.
1. Think about it, what are you most worried about right now?
2. Now use the timer to set two minutes, a full two minutes, do nothing, just think about the things you worry about.
Many people find that after a few minutes of deliberate worrying, they automatically stop thinking about the worrying things and turn their attention to something else.
Eventually, you find that you spend less and less time anxious.
Set aside a time once or twice a day for deliberate anxiety for 5-10 minutes each time, and you can set alarm reminders with your phone or computer.
Instead of letting anxiety run after you all the time, you should find it and face it directly!
There is also a way to let anxiety go:
Write down all your anxious thoughts.
Scientific studies have found that writing down worries on paper, tearing them up, and throwing them away can be very helpful in reducing anxiety.
In a person's life, whether good or bad, it is impossible for a person to control everything, and everyone has a time when they are "uncontrollable" in life;
But if your life is crammed with those "ineffective anxieties", good luck may not be able to squeeze in.
Stabilize your mentality, be patient, and do what you need to do, and you will cross thousands of mountains and rivers unconsciously.