The biggest misunderstanding in the world of Red Mansions is that Jia Baoyu's mother, Mrs. Wang, is a die-hard supporter of Jinyu Liangyuan. In fact, it is really easy to persuade Mrs. Wang to give up the golden and jade relationship. In the last book, I mentioned a hypothesis: whether it is Lin Daiyu, Xue Baochai, or Shi Xiangyun, they are just spare tires in the position of "Bao Er Grandma". The reason is that it is not worth anything: in the planning of Jiafu,Baoyu's future needs a living father-in-law. This reason is enough to make Jia Mu hesitate again and again about whether to fulfill Daiyu and Baoyu; This reason is enough to make Mrs. Wang give up the idea of marrying the Xue family - her son's future is obviously more important than bringing her sister's family. 
The decline of the family begins with the backward compatibility of marriageAn interesting observation: The male characters of the four major families of the Red Mansion lack virtue in some of the five elements, and most of the five elements lack their fathers-in-law.
Sure no: Jia Yu, Jia Zheng, Jia Jing, Jia Zhen, Jia Lian, Xue Pan;
There used to be: Jia Rong; Jia Zhu; SUN Shaozu;
Not yet obtained: Jia Baoyu, Jia Qiang, Jia Yun, Jia Huan, Jia Lan;
Temporarily owned (but not useful): Xue Zhen;
Compare the father-in-law group in Jin Yong's universe, the gap between the rich and the poor is not too obvious:Guo Jing has Huang Yaoshi, Hu Fei has Miao Renfeng, Ling Hu Chong has any way, Xuzhu is the horse of Western Xia, and Yuan Chengzhi is the inheritor of the skills of Golden Snake Langjun......Although love is like a kind of trophy in the script of the big male lead. But from a practical point of view, in a humane society, marriage is really the most efficient way to integrate resources.
In the three-dimensional world, there was once a successful person who had been married four times, and in the first three marriages, the background of each time was a reliable father-in-law, the first was a squire who helped him study, the second was a bigwig who called for wind and rain in the political circles, and the third was the world-famous super richest man. By the time he got married for the fourth time, his own light had already overshadowed all his former fathers-in-law.
So when we return to "Dream of Red Mansions", it is not difficult to draw a conclusion: the decline of Jiafu began with the three and four generations looking for a partner to downgrade. The marriages of the heirs to the title of Ningfu are all backward compatible, although the heirs of the title of Rongfu are married to the daughters of a big family, Wang Xifeng is obviously also a bitter child with absent parents. Moreover, the result of the internal circulation of resources is that the plate is getting smaller and smaller.
Look at the "Talisman" system of the powerful alliance in the heyday: Jia is not fake, and Baiyu is a golden horse (a family of military merits, ** Xianjue). Afang Palace is 300 miles, and it can't live in a history of Jinling (demographic dividend, historical heritage). The East China Sea lacked a white jade bed, and the Dragon King came to invite the King of Jinling (foreign trade franchise, royal money bag). The harvest year is good and snowy, and the pearls are like earth, gold and iron (financial giants, royal money bags). Some people are responsible for using power to protect money, some people are responsible for using money to consolidate authorization, and everyone will work together to ensure the inheritance of resources. In the main story time, everything changes. Jiafu has an empty title and lacks a substantive position. The Wang family handed over foreign trade to concentrate on being an official. Historians are learning to live a poor life. The Xue family fell apart, the business was hollowed out, and I don't know how many people were looking at the fat sheep waiting to be slaughtered. Why did Sun Shaozu let go and abuse Jia Yingchun? On the one hand, I have seen through the energy decay of Jiafu, and more importantly, I am afraid that I am in a hurry to change my father-in-law. In this case,The hope of the whole village, Jia Baoyu, how could he get an ordinary marriage? Red fans who are obsessed with the tragedy of Bao Dai often attribute the blame to those or old-fashioned elders, but in fact, the end of love is an opportunity to have no choice in the sinking era. Jiafu's attitude towards Jia Baoyu's marriage may not be that it is difficult to choose in front of three ready-made girls, but that it is indecisive between "choosing a good child who knows the roots" and "choosing a good in-law family who can entrust his son".
Originally, Miss Lin was the most suitable candidate
Lin Daiyu in the Hong Kong 60s movie "Dream of Red Mansions" In the impression of many people, Lin Daiyu is a poor orphan girl, in fact, according to the original text of Dream of Red Mansions, this is an illusion: the Lin family is a hereditary marquis, and his background is very noble, but the generation of Lin Ruhai, the father of Daiyu, has declined. But Lin Ruhai was also born in the imperial examination, and he was a doctor in Lantai, and he was a fat difference like the salt patrol imperial history - similar to the Jiangning weaving on Cao Xueqin's ancestors, it is a fat difference of one top. Therefore, some experts say that Lin Daiyu is a rich and expensive female classmate, and Jia Baoyu is considered to be married. In real history, there is a story of a husband and wife, which is like an ideal template for a wood and stone marriage. Coincidentally, one of the protagonists of the story is also a Lin girl. Miss Lin's father was a university scholar and an important minister of the imperial court. Under the auspices of her father, she became engaged to her cousin who was studying in the Lin family at the age of 10. Miss Lin was about ten years old, her cousin was raised, and the two got married naturally. The only regret is that my father was exiled for his crimes, but it didn't take long for him to be reinstated, and his official reputation was even better than before. Miss Lin's ordinary life as a husband and child ushered in a highlight moment around the age of 35. In troubled times, the enemy army pressed the border, as the prefect's husband went out of the city to raise salaries and did not return, the people in the lonely city were panicked, and the officials, soldiers and civilians were gone. So he wrote a blood letter, moving it with affection and knowing it with reason. The old ministry took the blood letter and rushed to help at the risk of being reprimanded by his boss - no matter whether the strategy was suitable or not, leaving the country without a military order was to bear the responsibility. 
At the end of the Qing Dynasty, Lin Puqing in the "Dianshizhai Pictorial" reported that "stabbing blood and asking for help" could not save the thirst from far water. However, it is written in the history books that the heavy rain fell suddenly, and the reinforcements arrived by boat in half a day, and the enemy army heard the spies report that the city ahead was empty, so they did not rush to march to avoid the rain first. By the time the soldiers approached the city, the city was already full of banners.
There is another strange thing in Miss Lin's life: the day she died in her 50s happened to be her birthday. An elegiac couplet written to her by a celebrity went something like this:For the daughter of a famous minister, for the wife of a famous minister, Jiang Youzuo Yuanrong, and Mrs. Brocade Umbrella share great achievements; Born in the Mid-Autumn Festival, died in the Mid-Autumn Festival, the sky is round and bright, the predecessor of the neon dress fairy certificate. - The Fairy of the Beads and the General Concubine have merged here.
If Lin Ruhai lives a long life, the marriage between wood and stone will definitely be a certainty.
When Jia Zheng managed his son to despair, he had a flash of inspiration and sent the bear child to Uncle Lin's house to study, and the old lady would never object. - Legend has it that Lin Zexu took a fancy to Shen Baozhen, because the father of the Shen family wanted to enter Beijing for the exam, and threw his son to the Lin family for more than half a year.
Shen Baozhen, a famous minister in the late Qing Dynasty, did not die in Guangxin, and relied on his wife Lin Puqing's blood letter to "shake" to save the soldiers, and since then he has become famous in a war, and he must have the Yu Yin of his father-in-law Lin Zexu - Miss Lin's blood book mentions that "the first palace protects Wen Zhonggong, and he is edicted to be a teacher, and he is in the middle of the road, and he still thinks that his heart aches", which may be more impressive than the analysis of pros and cons.
When Miss Lin and his wife were trapped, Lin Zexu had already passed away, but Lin Wenzhong was a hero and a famous minister to spread to future generations, and even Zuo Zongtang of Zeng Guofan was regarded as an idol of the high mountains, although the person was not there, the spirit was still alive; Second, Lin has served as a feudal official for many years, and his protégés have made friends all over the worldIt is all social currency that can be used at any time in a humane society.
An old photo of the Fuzhou Shipbuilding Bureau created by Zuo Zongtang and Shen Baozhen.
What relationship is most important to you
The act of obtaining resources through marriage is already a ZZ incorrect today. You see, in a national TV series like "Dajiang Dahe", Song Yunhui's rise must rely on his own ability, and he must not rely on any father-in-law; Yang Xun must not be the son-in-law of a wealthy family, and it is best to merge similar items with the bottom strugglers. Actually, there is no need to cling to the word "father-in-law". For modern people, the biggest progress is in:There are more and more ways to access upside resources. Behind each person is the superposition of various circles: the circle of mentors or classmates established through study; Through work, change positions, change companies, entrepreneurship and other repeated horizontal jumps to establish a variety of colleague circles; Circles of peers established through academic, hobby, sports and other groups; The fandom ...... established by doing self-relianceSo,Never be afraid to change jobs, all changes mean opportunities to link to new relationships at the same time. However, the more circles, it means that the cost of relationship maintenance is also infinitely higher, and if you don't want internal friction, you have to do subtraction. Around the Chinese New Year, there is a hot search word called"Severe"., which is used to describe the phenomenon of less or even no longer moving between relatives. When doing social subtraction, the first thing is to "kill relatives with righteousness".Theoretically, we can talk about all kinds of big words and macros that include stranger society, atomic survival, etc., but in the vernacular, it is a cruel reality: kinship is becoming more and more "useless" for people in big cities, and limited social energy should be used for more useful relationship maintenance - migrant workers do not forget to send birthday wishes to the children of large customers, but may not remember how many children a relative has. 
In this regard, there is no need for value judgment, only self-knowledge.
The simplest criterion for judging who you are and what path you are suitable for is:Which circle of relationships are you willing to spend time, energy, emotion, and other costs to maintain? In which group of people do you feel most comfortable and happy?
Jia Baoyu only has girls in his heart, and he is never willing to maintain workplace socialization, so his last guarantee is only gold and jade; Sister Baochai spent all her intelligence and spirit on maintaining kinship, so she was able to make a big gift. And Sister Lin is only willing to maintain the core relationship of 121, so she got our hearts. Fair enough.