Text|Ying's mother
When the child is not yet able to speak,Crying is his language, and his cry conveys, I'm hungry, I'm peeing, I need you to come and hug me, come and comfort me!
Watson, an American behaviorist psychologist, thinks that children don't need love, they just need food, that is, when the child is crying, as long as you give him food, as long as you help him change diapers, don't hug him, and even ignore the child when he cries, so that the child can learn to be independent, and the way of raising children is calledCrying immunization.
His school of psychology was also in the United StatesAll the rageAfter all, many parents are also very disgusted with their children's crying, and hope that their children can learn to be independent as soon as possible.
And Watson is also very confident in his cry immunity method, not only will he experiment with other children, but his own three children also grew up in his cry immunity method, when he was young, the child had no maternal love, only food and water, did not give the child more emotional communication, and made the child become ruthless.
Watson himself had three children, and the eldest son, Reina, committed suicide several times, and when he was in his prime, that is, in his 30s, he successfully committed suicide and passed away. The second son has been wandering, living in poverty, and finally died of stomach cancer. Although the daughter eventually became a mother, butHe often drank too much and even tried to commit suicide many times, and her daughter is also an alcoholic like her mother, which is actually depression.
Watson, the originator of the crying immunity method, the ending of his three children can be said to be very miserable, and the reason why children are like this is because there is no love in the process of growing up, which will lead to the child's heart is very muchEmptiness and scarcity
Watson only represents his own theories, and there is another scientist named Harry Harlow, who made oneRhesus Monkey ExperimentAfter the newborn monkey is separated from its mother on the first day of life, it will have two false mothers, one is the mother of the wire and the other is the mother of the cloth.
Mother Wire has a bottle on her chest, and Mother Cloth doesn't, but this newborn monkey will drink milk from Mother Wire when it is hungry, and when it is full, it will spend most of its time on Mother Flannel, and if it takes its Mother Flannel, this monkey will lose its temper.
That is, for newborn children, more important than food is the mother's embrace.
But Harry Harlow found that theseMonkeys raised by their mothers do not play with other children, have a very withdrawn personality, and do not reproduce when they reach adulthood
So Harry Harlow improved the experiment, so that this flannel mother was not only very comfortable to hold all over her body, but also swayed, and spent an hour and a half with the little monkey every day to play with the real monkeys, and later found that the monkeys were normal when they grew up. Therefore, when children are young, they need love, touch, and communication with normal peers.
This also tells usWhen the child is young, as long as the child cries to be satisfied in time, the child is to cry to hug, many mothers are worried that the child will cry when he is small, the child will become more squeamish, and will always have to hug in the future
In fact, the mother's worry is superfluous, some psychologists have found that the child before 6 months, he does not understand what the rules are, what he needs is complete love, so the child must meet the child in time before 6 months.
As long as the child has needs, parents must meet the child, that is, the child will pick him up as soon as he criesIf he is hungry, give him milk in time, change his diaper in time if he pees, and hug him tightly if he needs his mother's comfort.
Psychologist Winnicott once mentioned that when children are young, they are about 6 months ago, and the mother's "primitive maternal attention" is particularly important to the child's mental health.
The so-called primitive maternal love is that the mother wholeheartedly observes the child, understands the child's needs, and meets the child's needs as soon as he has needs, which will make the child feel that I am needed, the world is safe, I am worthy of love, he will have a good impression of the world, and will have a sense of security, and such a child is not prone to psychological problems when he grows up.
Therefore, children should hug their children more when they are young, especially when they cry before 6 months, and children from 6 months to 12 months should also pay more attention to children and hold children more, and after the age of one year, they will slowly teach children the rules and let children be independent, so as to meet the psychological needs of children and let children grow up healthily.
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