Little he tells jokes
Hello everyone, Welcome to the Joke Collection series, laugh and laugh!
The wife saw that her son was playful and said, "Son, mom will test you, if you know how to let you play, if you can't, you will do my homework." ”
The son nodded and said, "Okay, Mom." “
My wife asked, "What is 4 plus 16?" ”
The son replied, "It's equal to 20." ”
The daughter-in-law took out a dollar and rewarded her son and said, "It's so smart, it's so quick to figure it out, and give you a dollar to buy a popsicle." ”
The son took the money and said to his wife, "Mom, you can ask a few more questions!" Let my dad do the math. ”
I had a sour nose when I heard it, and I thought to myself, I really deserve to be my son, knowing that I feel sorry for your father and has no pocket money.
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
I remember when I was a child, my four-year-old brother came to me and said, "Brother, you see, I have a lot of raisins. “
I looked at the raisins in his hand, this kid got it from **? Just as I was thinking about it, my brother said to me again, "Do you want me to share it with you?" “
I reached out to take it, and he gave me a small point, and I went down with a grunt, and my brother asked, "How does it taste?" “
I said, "You bought it here, why does it taste a little weird." “
The younger brother said, "I found it next to the rat hole, maybe it was stolen by the rat during the Chinese New Year?" ”
I immediately threw up and quickly said, "This looks like rat droppings." “
Well, hahaha, I'm dripping mom, laughing at me! 」
The boss is very funny, one day I was playing mahjong with my friends, and suddenly received the boss **, the boss said: "I sent WeChat to you, why didn't I reply." After saying that, he hung up.
Then I opened WeChat and took a look, and there was a sentence in it: "Call ** to me, I will find you if I have something." ”
I wanted to scold people at the time: I called ** over, but I didn't say anything. I'm so angry that I didn't even see it, so I won't fight with you, see what you do to me.
The husband proudly said to his wife: "Today I went to the dry cleaner to do laundry, and the waiter gave three stars on the signature of the clothes!" ”
The wife was puzzled: "What does that mean?" ”
This shows that my clothes are of high grade and reminds workers to be careful and not to damage them. The husband said.
The next day, my wife went out with a neighbor to buy groceries and came back to help me pick up clothes, and when I got to the dry cleaner to pick up the clothes, she deliberately showed off and said, "It's the one with three stars and the highest grade." ”
The waiter quickly found the clothes, and while handing them to her, he smiled and said, "We put three stars on the sign to remind the workers that the clothes are dirty and should be washed ......several times."”
Ah, my wife originally wanted to show off, but every time the neighbor saw me, she taught me: "Lao Zhang, you love to be clean!" ’
It embarrassed me at the time, and I really wanted to find a crack in the ground to get into
A chef has been working in a restaurant for many years and has been paid a very low salary. Finally, one day, the boss decided to give him a raise.
The chef asked the boss in surprise, "Boss, why do you suddenly want to give me a raise?" ”
The boss said, "Because you've been a good cook for so many years, I should raise your salary." ”
The chef thought for a while and said, "Over the years, don't you say that my fried dishes often have complaints from customers?" ’
Boss: ".I'm testing you!
The chef thought to himself, "For so many years, the boss has been cheating on me in order to keep me. ”
Woooooooo
It's a pain to take your husband with you when you go to the mall and bargain!
I looked at the price of a dress for 179 yuan, and I was thinking about cutting it directly from 100 yuan? Or cut it from 120? My husband suddenly appeared: "Is 170 for sale or not?" ”
I fell in love with my wife in my freshman year and got married six years later.
One day, after eating, we took a walk together, and my wife said, "I am very frugal, and I still wore a windbreaker two years ago." ”
Me: "I'm just thrifty, and my daughter-in-law still uses it when I was in college." ”
As a result, after kneeling on the washboard for a day, my legs were numb and I couldn't walk.
My son took my hand and said, "Dad, there's an old uncle outside who is very pitiful, and he keeps screaming outside, so Dad, can you give me two dollars?" I want to give it to him. ”
Dad said: "Good boy, you will pity the old man since you were a child, you deserve praise, give you two dollars." ”
After less than three seconds, Dad asked, "Oh, by the way, what did that old uncle call him?" ”
Son: "Ice cream, 2 yuan a piece!" Come on! ”
Oops, I'm dripping mom too).
I washed a peach in the bathroom today, and I wanted to dry the water on it, but my hand fell into the toilet!
I hesitated for a long time, should I want it or not? In the end, I decided that I would still be able to eat it. Just as I rolled up my sleeves and was about to fish, my mother walked in and saw this scene, and said in surprise: "Son, I didn't expect you to be so frugal and actually wash fruit in the toilet!" “
I was embarrassed and quickly explained to my mother: "Mom, it's not what you think." “
My mother ignored me, turned to my dad and said, "Our son seems to have some nerve problems since the breakup, so take him to the hospital to see it!" “
I bought a thermometer and hung it on the wall, and my three-year-old son asked me curiously, "Mom, what is it that hangs on the wall?" ”
I replied, "It's a thermometer, it measures temperature." ”
The son asked, "Mom, is there a fever in the house too?" ”
--- end --- funny jokes
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