Hello everyone, I'm "little him", after reading this article, you can click on it if you think it's good".Attention”。He has material and focuses on funny.
My wife was on a business trip for a day, and I decided to ask a few friends to go to the bar at night. But thinking that my daughter-in-law may call ** to check the post at night, I searched on the Internet for a lot of common tricks about the wife's post after a business trip.
So I immediately rummaged through the hidden places in the house, and found a piece of denomination RMB under the bedroom mat, I laughed three times and put the money in my pocket and hummed a little song happily went out in style.
In the evening, I really received a call from my daughter-in-law to check the post:"Husband, did you sleep? "
I ran to a quiet place and said:"Slept"
The wife said:"There's a dollar under the mat, and you tell me which side is up? "
Yes! I'm dripping mom, I can't prevent it, this is not a routine! 」
In junior high school, the ** teacher who had just come to our class for internship asked as soon as he started class: "Students, what do you all like?" The students said in unison, "Teacher, we like the bell after class!" ”
The wife wanted her husband to come home early, so she stipulated that she would lock the door when she came home later than 23 o'clock. The first week worked, and in the second week, the husband returned late, and the wife locked the door according to the system, so the husband simply didn't go home. My wife was depressed, and after being instructed by a master, the regulations were modified: If I don't go home before 23 o'clock, I will sleep with the door open. My husband was shocked and went home on time.
In the first two days, the daughter-in-law of the loser spent 1,006 to buy a down jacket, and just called me ** and said that she wanted to buy a down jacket again! I asked her, didn't you just buy it? She said: I like that one so much that I am a little reluctant to wear ......This reason.
My cousin has a problem, the eldest nephew who goes to kindergarten, has a new little girlfriend, the parents came to the door, pointed at the cousin, how did you educate your son, deceived my girl to be his wife, took advantage of no one in my house, ran to my house and said to cook for my girl, made the house not decent, ate and drank at home, and when I left, I took away a piece of China that I wanted to give a gift, and Moutai took away a bottle, saying that it was for his father to taste, okay! Your son is filial enough! Why is your son a bandit?
The daughter didn't eat well, so she had to coax him, rock-paper-scissors with him, and if she lost, she would take a bite, and soon the bowl of rice was happily finished. There was something going on today, I came home a little late, and as soon as I entered the house, the second wife handed me the bowl, husband, you feed it, I really can't eat it. It's almost three bowls ......I call you a rice bucket to praise you!
The family lives on the 23rd floor, and the elevator broke down when I got home, so I had no choice but to climb the stairs.
Tired and half-dead climbed to the 16th floor and found that the elevator was running, I quickly ran to wait for the elevator, and went up to find that I was going to the 1st floor, and I thought that I would sit up again after a while.
After reaching the 1st floor, a maintenance master came in and said that the elevator was being repaired, please take the stairs!
The daughter refused to eat, and the more the wife looked at it, the more angry she became, grabbing the bowl and saying, "If you don't eat it, I'll give it to the dog!" The daughter blinked and said, "We don't have any dogs?" My wife handed me the bowl, "Eat!" ”
In the Guangzhou subway, a man accidentally dropped the orange in his hand, and the orange rolled to the other end of the carriage. As the subway swayed, the oranges kept rolling around, causing the passengers in the carriage to stretch out their legs to try to intercept them. The unexpected "orange football game" made the entire carriage laugh, and finally, a child successfully picked up the orange and returned it to the man, and the carriage burst into applause.
I was very bored during the holidays, so I came to the martial arts gym to sign up to learn boxing.
The boss looked at me and said:"Our boxing class is mostly boys. Even if there are girls who are children, seeing that you are also an adult, and you are so old to learn boxing, I am still the first time to see you, who will dare to marry you in the future? "
I said wittily at the time"When the old lady learns boxing, I will see who dares not to marry me! "
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
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