Recently, I brushed it short**, and I saw a paragraph that made people feel very distressed**.
A daughter-in-law complained to her husband in **, crying that she was so tired and depressed.
The husband listened to it, his voice was gentle, and he asked her what made her so sad.
The daughter-in-law said that it was because the money was not earned, and the children could not take care of it.
My husband immediately turned on the comfort mode, saying that we are much better than others, don't drill into a dead end, I'll go home and hug you.
After reading this, the comment area was full of praise, and I felt that these two people were quite good at living.
Some people also complained, saying that why is it not like this in their own family?
01 In intimate relationships, there is much more "self-exposure".
You see, happy couples have one thing in common, and that is that they can talk.
For example, two couples, one is discussing what to do if the child's grades are not good, and the conversation is dry;
Another couple, as soon as they saw that the grades were not good, began to talk about whether the child had been under pressure recently, whether we were too busy to take care of him, and then decided to take the child out for a walk, and the grades naturally came up when the mood was good.
This is called "self-exposure", telling each other their true thoughts and feelings, so that the relationship between husband and wife can be more intimate.
02 Why do we always love to hurt people?
Have you ever had this experience, obviously both of you are very tired, and you need each other's understanding and support, but you accidentally become each other's "hedgehogs"?
For example, the husband works hard to make money and comes home and wants to get his wife's understanding;
The wife manages the family and hopes that her husband can help more.
However, once the communication is not done properly, they start complaining about each other.
This is actually because we are all defensive, afraid of being misunderstood by the other party.
So I'd rather attack each other than open myself.
03 "Self-exposure" is an art
Some people say that true maturity is learning to control your urge to talk to someone.
But I think it's more important to learn how to talk and how to make the other person really understand you.
Like Zhang Jin and Cai Shaofen, the reason why they can be so affectionate is because they know how to express their true selves and how to accept each other's truth.
So, the next time you feel depressed or unhappy with your partner, you might as well try "self-exposed" communication.
For example, instead of directly blaming the other person, you can tell the other person how you are feeling and what makes you unhappy.
Believe me, this kind of communication will make your relationship closer.
After reading this article, do you also think that in intimate relationships, we need more understanding and support, rather than attack and defense?
Remember, being brave enough to "expose yourself" is what will take the relationship further.
Of course, the premise is that you have to trust the other person to "catch you".
This kind of love is the deepest love - because it is seen, it is understood;
Because I understand, I love deeply.
How's that, are you ready?