Why does marriage always get worse and worse the more it adjusts?
Why can't you save your marriage the harder you try? Generally speaking, it is not the specific problems in the marriage that make the marriage fail, but the efforts to manage and improve. The disappointment, pain and helplessness brought about by marriage make people have to finally escape from marriage and restore psychological balance.
Many times, no matter how hard you try, you can't figure out the relationship according to your own ideas. No matter how unwilling you are to see disappointment, you will eventually be pulled back into the position of disappointment. Because in a relationship, when disappointment arises, if you don't really get in touch with disappointment, but are eager to find hope, all you think about is skill, thinking about what the other party is willing to listen to, and what the other party is willing to see.
This kind of anxiety is actually only to satisfy your own anxious needs, not to really think about the other person, nor to care about what your other person really needs. In the face of marital repair, on the one hand, psychological techniques can be used to alleviate contradictions and conflicts, or to re-establish relationships. On the other hand, it takes you to be able to withdraw yourself from this anxiety and start consciously building boundaries in your relationship, accepting that even though I have a closest lover, you can't ask the other person to make you feel safe.
On such a basis, the establishment of self-consciousness allows us to truly feel the hearts of ourselves and each other with a stable heart, to truly understand each other's desires, and this is the beginning of the real redemption of the marriage that is about to break down.