Thoughts: Ideas handed down from ancient times:
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a natural confrontational relationship.
Although in the current era of civilization, the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are becoming less and less, and they are inevitable.
In fact, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not irreconcilable, accept the double generation gap of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law's age and family background, and keep in mind when getting along:
No matter whether the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good or bad, don't treat your mother-in-law as a real family member.
It may sound cold, but it's a smart choice. There are three reasons for this:
The family is close.
That's a difference in degree.
The apparent harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is temporarily maintained, but mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are husband's family after all, not your biological family.
The ancients said: A blind date with a different surname is different from me.
Emotional differences between family members are normal, and you don't have to force yourself to accept that your mother-in-law is as close as your biological mother.
I have an old classmate whose mother-in-law has a good relationship with her after she got married, and almost treats her mother-in-law as her own biological mother.
Later, she gave birth to a child and disagreed with her mother-in-law on the issue of the child's education, and her mother-in-law became more and more demanding of her, and she found that the intimacy between the two was not real.
Mother-in-law is the mother of her husband, and she should respect each other and take care of each other with appropriate love, but there is a high probability that she cannot be treated like a mother, because there will be expectations, and the more expectations there are, the more disappointments there will be.
To understand the family members brought about by marriage, the degree of affection needs to be different, remember this, but also understand the mother-in-law.
Mother-in-law cares about interests.
It's his son, not you.
No matter how good your mother-in-law is to you, her best interest is always focused on her son, not your daughter-in-law.
Like someone said: it's all selfish, in a way.
Your mother-in-law's kindness to you may be based more on your son's feelings than on sincerity. Understanding this avoids unnecessary misunderstandings.
A best friend of mine once told me that when she first got married, she often followed her mother-in-law's advice when dealing with family affairs because she was very kind to her in her daily life.
Later, due to a disagreement with her mother-in-law, her mother-in-law's words seriously hurt her and made her realize that the highest status of her mother-in-law is not that of a daughter-in-law.
Knowing your mother-in-law's interests can help you avoid a lot of unnecessary miscalculations and suffering.
If you think about this, you will know where you should put your mother-in-law to make your family harmonious.
Don't tell your mother-in-law.
Too much privacy. No matter how good your relationship with your mother-in-law is, don't treat her as your closest confidant, let alone reveal too much of your privacy. This will bring a lot of uncertainty into the future relationship.
Lao Tzu said: "Know yourself and know the other, know yourself and know the other." ”
While it is possible to maintain friendly feelings with your mother-in-law, it is best to share the real secrets only with those closest to you.
As one reader revealed to me:
When I first got along with my mother-in-law, I thought she was very kind, so I often chatted with my mother-in-law and confided in my heart. As a result, my mother-in-law inadvertently revealed some personal privacy to outsiders, causing a rift in their relationship.
Maybe the mother-in-law didn't do it unintentionally, but it still caused the consequences of making both parties unhappy.
It is important to understand that the mother-in-law is not a family member, and the husband and wife still tell the truth or are the closest friends, so that it will be more convenient to communicate and will not have unpleasant experiences, and a little carelessness will cause greater misunderstandings.
Maintaining the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and maintaining family harmony requires moderate boundaries, which is the key to maintaining a long-term friendly relationship.
The harmony of married life lies not only in your relationship with your husband, but also in your relationship with your mother-in-law.