Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Husband and Wife Jokes Collection" (Attached: I wish you all a Happy New Year!;It's cold, so keep warm!）
The girlfriend got fatter and fatter and later got married. We covered a quilt in the middle of the night, and sometimes as soon as she turned over, she swept the quilt away......At that time, I understood, "Some people are a quilt when they turn around!".”
The husband proudly said to his wife, "Today I went to the dry cleaner to wash clothes, and the waiter gave three stars on the label of the clothes!."”
The wife was puzzled: "What does that mean?"”
This shows that my clothes are of high grade and reminds workers to be careful and not to damage them. The husband said.
The next day, my wife went out with a neighbor to buy groceries and came back to help me pick up clothes, and when I went to the dry cleaner to pick up the clothes, she deliberately showed off and said, "It's the one with three stars and the highest grade." ”
The waiter quickly found the clothes, and while handing them to her, he smiled and said, "We put three stars on the sign to remind the workers that the clothes are dirty and need to be washed ......several times."”
Ah, my wife originally wanted to show off, but every time the neighbor saw me, she taught me a lesson: "Lao Zhang, you love to be clean!."’
It embarrassed me at the time, and I really wanted to find a crack in the ground to get into
Recently, Dajun raised a bird, because his wife didn't like it very much, so when his wife was not at home, Dajun took the birdcage into the house, teased the bird, and when his wife came home, he hung the birdcage on the balcony.
On this day, when my wife came home from work, the army consciously took the birdcage to the balcony.
My wife frowned and asked, "I've been paying attention to you for a long time, every time I get home, you hang a birdcage on the balcony, who do you send a signal to?"”
One day, my pregnant wife suddenly asked, "Husband, is the baby in my womb a gift from God?"“
I said, "Yes!".”
The wife asked again, "What about me?"”
At that time, I didn't know if it was a brain pump, or how I replied: "You are the ...... of the gift box."”
It's been a few days, and I still can't get into the house until today, and it's all tears!
Hey!You're a fucking talent!」
Today's wedding anniversary, I held my wife's hand in the evening and asked affectionately: "Wife, you have followed me for so many years, and I have said a lot of love words to you, which one do you think is the most beautiful?"”
My wife thought about it very seriously and said, "What I earn, it's all yours!."”
My wife asked, "Husband, what part of my body do you like the most?"”
The husband thought for a while and said, "Ass." ”
The wife coquettishly said, "I hate it, why do you like it there?."”
My husband said, "My mouth will scold me, my face will kill me, my hands will hit me, my feet will kick me, only my ass will not bully me!."”
The wife said angrily: "Believe it or not, I will sit on you to death!."”
My husband said, "I found the money!."“
The wife said, "You can use it yourself!."“
My husband said, "I picked up my phone!."“
My wife said, "Use it yourself!."Don't report this kind of thing to me in the future, since you picked it up, use it yourself!It's all for nothing!“
A few days later, my wife asked angrily, "You didn't come home last night, what's the matter?"“
My husband bowed his head and said, "I picked up a drunk beauty last night!."“
Oh, and since there is still such an operation!」
The husband quarreled with his wife and slammed the door in a fit of rage.
The wife scolded: "Don't come back!."”
The husband said, "Whoever comes back is the grandson." ”
I went out for a walk around and went home without a place, and when I knocked on the door, my wife asked, "Who?"”
My husband said, "Grandma, I'm back." ”
Hey!You're a fucking talent!」
My wife was watching TV with my husband in the living room, and when I saw my husband in the early morning, he said, "Wife, are you sleeping?!".”
The wife said to her husband: "Husband, I want you to carry me in!." ”
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Forget it, I'll move the bed out for you!." ”
My wife said angrily, "I'm so fat now!."”
Haha, this operation simply amused me!」
My husband usually never drinks under my teaching, but on the night of New Year's Day, my husband came back late when he was drunk, and he walked staggeringly, smelling of alcohol, and I was angry when I saw it. However, being angry is angry, thinking that it is better to cook him some porridge or something like that to warm his stomach. Just after boiling the bowl and about to serve it, my husband seemed to have woken up, fell from the sofa and fell to the ground, kneeling and shouting while crawling: "Daughter-in-law, I know it's wrong, I don't dare anymore, don't be ** husband, one day husband and wife hundred days, you spare me!".”
At that time, I laughed so much that I couldn't breathe, and I dared to love this husband who regarded himself as a martial artist.
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death!」
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