I sat alone on a park bench, gently shaking my legs and watching the flock of pigeons fluttering in the sunset. Pedestrians in the park are in twos and threes, some are running, some are walking their dogs, and some are chatting. The crisp autumn weather made me feel extra pleasant. The leaves on the trees are falling colorfully, and the ground is covered with gold. Occasionally, a cool breeze blows and I can't help but take a deep breath and feel the fresh air coming in and out of my lungs.
Not far away, an elderly couple is holding hands and walking slowly, and the two grandchildren are pushing their grandfather in a wheelchair for a walk in the square. Seeing other people's families enjoying themselves, I couldn't help but curl the corners of my mouth. These images inexplicably evoked memories of my past life and made me think deeply.
When I was young, I had a brief marriage, but my wife and children left one after another due to illness. It was a really hard time to get by. After that, I experienced several failed relationships. In a blink of an eye, I was old, but there was no one left around me. When I thought that in my later years, I would sooner or later face the terrible fate of being seriously ill and uncared for, or even being forgotten in a dirty and messy nursing home, I couldn't help but laugh at myself.
Obviously, everyone dreams of a happy old age, but when they really face it, they are so helpless and desperate. I also fantasized about what life should be like in my old age. Maybe I can live with my gray-haired partner, and my children will come to see me on weekends. I can go to the community center to play cards and chat, and participate in choir performances. But the reality is so cruel that all this can only become an old man's incomparable desire for his old age.
I stood up abruptly and strode out. Perhaps, as they often say, my behavior is a typical escape. But I really can't continue to witness my own bleak life in the happy lives of others. I never thought that one day I would be so lonely, weak and helpless. I began to understand why the elderly in my family kept talking about the difficulties and regrets of their youth, because that was the only thing they could hold on to and find comfort.
That's when I noticed that the tears were sliding down my cheeks, and I couldn't stop it. The boy has tears and doesn't flick lightly, but I really can't control the mood swings in my heart. I worked so hard for my life, so much looking forward to the long future, but in the end I could only face the lonely future alone in Dusk Park.
Just then, I suddenly heard a female voice calling my name behind me.
Female voice: "Zhang Dawei, is it you?"”
I looked back in surprise to see a kind-faced old lady smiling behind me. I looked at her and saw that she was my childhood neighbor aunt. I wiped my tears with some embarrassment, but the corners of my mouth couldn't stop curling. The aunt is also gray-haired, but she is still so amiable.
Me: "Auntie, I don't even recognize you, it's been a long time!."”
We chatted for a long time on the bench at sunset, and my aunt and I reminisced about our childhood. I remember all kinds of scenes in those green years, which made my heart soothe a lot. It turns out that in the past 80 years of life, I have also received help and companionship from so many people.
Auntie: "I remember when I was a child, you often came to our house as a guest, and you played well with my son. You two are always looking for weird things to come back and make my aunt's head bigger!”
We reminisce about the past, and you and I keep talking about it. Auntie suddenly reached out and patted me on the shoulder, and said in a nostalgic tone
Auntie: "Back then, your family was in a bad situation, I still remember one year during the Spring Festival, your father was stranded in bed, and the family had no money to buy New Year's goods. I specially made a few more things to bring wine and dried meat, and asked my son to carry a large bag and a small bag to your house, and asked your family to open the New Year's greetings. ”
I nodded deeply. The time I spent chatting with my aunt made me realize that even if I eventually grow old, my life is actually full of the love of others. I shouldn't deny or forget everything I had in the past because of my loneliness now.
My aunt pulled me into her arms one last time, and the bitterness in my heart was also wiped out in this embrace. I knew I wasn't alone, and that her embrace was a silent encouragement to all those who had helped and loved me.
The aunt said, "No matter what, life goes on. We will definitely find a way to spend our old age. ”
I nodded heartily, finally feeling a little relieved. We sat side by side in the twilight sky and watched the sun set little by little. I turned my head to look at my aunt, who seemed to have a warm smile on her lips all the time. At this moment, I realized that I was not alone in the future. In my memory and life, I have always been accompanied by family, friends and neighbors.
Maybe there won't always be a confidant by your side on the road of life. But those givings and companionships will become eternal spiritual sustenance. It will turn into a small lamp that warms us in the wind and frost of the years. There are too many accidents and difficult things in this world, so why should I deny all the beautiful possibilities in life because of limited certainty.
The boulder in my heart fell to the ground. After saying goodbye to my aunt, I slowly returned home alone in the afterglow of the sunset, and the panic in my heart about the confusion of my old age gradually precipitated. I began to believe that no matter what the road ahead, there would always be light waiting for me at the end of my walk. I'm finally going to have the best day of my life.
I wandered alone on the park path at dusk, reminiscing about my conversation with my aunt. Although we haven't seen each other for many years, when we meet, we talk about our hearts and minds, as if time and space have never separated us.
Perhaps, I don't have to worry about loneliness and the future anymore. Because all the people who loved me in the past are guarding me in their way at this moment. Just as I will always miss them, I will always cherish them in my heart.
They are all me, and I am them. We all leave our mark on this world and experience a life surrounded by love.
I can't help but think of a famous passage in a literature textbook: "So, I gently ferried in the flow of time." During this short voyage, I deeply enjoyed the joy of life, and also deeply experienced the pain of life. ”
That's right, that's life. Brief but complete;There is sorrow, and there is laughter;There are partings, and there are reunions. In my lifetime, I will experience all the tastes of this world with a grateful and kind heart.
Dusk ends, and it's getting late. I smiled and walked in the direction of home, all the anxiety and trepidation in my heart had turned into dust in the wind and disappeared.
In the calm night, the moon is like a wash. The hustle and bustle of the setting sun is no longer in the park, only the evening breeze gently caresses the ends of the hair. As I set out on my way home, my mind was more peaceful than ever, and even a little excited.
Back in my humble little home, although it was only two empty rooms where I lived alone, I felt very warm at the moment. I brewed a pot of fragrant Longjing, and while sipping tea, I reminisced about what I saw and felt during the walk. In the middle of the night, the whole world seemed to fall silent, but I didn't feel lonely at all.
Because I know that somewhere in this world, there must be many people like me, drinking tea and admiring the moon and enjoying themselves. They are all passers-by in the trajectory of my life, but they are inextricably linked to each other. I hope they all have peace and joy and have a night to remember as much as I did.