1 cousin went to pick up her 7-year-old son from school, passing by the vegetable market, and my cousin's son said, "Mom, I want to eat a chicken leg." ”
My cousin smiled: "Didn't your grandfather give you 5 yuan pocket money in the morning, take it out and buy it." ”
The son said, "This money can't be used!."”
Cousin: "Why, do you want to save it?"”
The son continued: "Leave it for my son to buy chicken thighs to eat later!."”
2. Riding a battery car uphill, I saw a stroller slipping down in front of the left, and a woman was chasing and screaming behind.
I threw off the battery cart, flew over to block it, and looked inside the stroller, there was only one cabbage.
3 dad doing laundry on the balcony!At this time, Lao Li Tou knocked on the door, and my mother opened the door and said, my old man is not at home, you can come back again!
Lao Li Tou smiled and said: Big sister, you have been using this trick for more than ten years, are you tired?As long as you say that you are not at home, you may be punished at home, either doing laundry or cooking!
4 Wife: Honey, how would you feel if you lost me one day?Me: Uh-huh......It's like stir-frying without salt!Wife: Are you saying that life will be boring without me?Me: Little fool, I mean I'll go buy another pack!
5My sister came to me and said, "You are a man, so you must learn to take responsibility for your family, so that you can support our family in the future and become a real man!"Do you understand?”
When I heard this, I was happy and said, "Yes!."”
Then I heard my sister turn around and shout into the house: "Mom, my brother confessed, his money was stolen by him!".”
I ......Sister, I obviously saw the ...... you tookWhat kind of people, this is?!
6 Yesterday when it was raining heavily after work, the company's female colleagues were blocked at the door to play **, all let their boyfriends or husbands pick up, and suddenly heard a shout from behind: Get out of the way, I'm going to pick up my husband, I saw a female man with an umbrella and pushed away the crowd and disappeared in the heavy rain.
7 A male customer had a very wooden expression when he took a photo, so the photographer taught him: "You imagine me as your wife, and you smile at her as you normally smile." ”
The male customer did so, and the photographer looked at it for a long time and couldn't help asking, "Why are you smiling like a minion?"”
8 Many people like to confess on April Fool's Day, and if they refuse, they will say Happy April Fool's Day, think about it, in fact, Qingming Festival can also be used, in case of refusal, you can also say: Sorry, it seems to have been possessed just now?!
9The psychiatrist asked the young woman who was seeking a visit for the first time: "You said you came to see me because your taste for socks worried your family?"”
Yes," the patient whispered, "I like wool socks." ”
"There is nothing wrong with that," the doctor said, "and many people prefer wool socks, and I am like that." ”
Really?The patient exclaimed, "Do you prefer steamed or fried?"”
10 An electric welder opened an electric welding shop, and the shop was named: Welding Emperor Wu. Everyone praised the name of the shop, and he was very proud. On this day, he went to the candy store next door to show off, and the candy store owner pulled him to look at the name of his store: Sugar Taizong. The owner of the candy shop pointed to the cake shop not far away: Han Cake Zu. The two were silent together. At this time, a dung digger rode a dung truck past the two of them, and the two took a closer look at the dung truck and there were three big characters written on it: Capture the.
At the beginning of the 11th year, the principal of the key high school came to our school to recruit students and select the seedlings of the key class. The homeroom teacher recommended me and two other male classmates, and the grades were comparable. The principal fell in love with me at first sight. The reason is that I am the ugliest and have an ugly hairstyle, which makes me look like I am serious about reading.
The 12th weekend is coming, and my wife is engaged in household hygiene, which is a little annoying!So, on the small blackboard of the family, write the words: "Family hygiene, everyone is responsible".
At noon, my son came back from school and added a horizontal line to the herringbone. My wife found that the blackboard became: "Family hygiene, adults are responsible." ”
In the evening, after the husband got off work, he added another horizontal line, and the wife found that the blackboard became: "Family hygiene, Mrs. is responsible." ”
My wife fainted on the spot!Lazy people are not terrible these days, but they are afraid that lazy people are educated!