1A few days ago, I was paid my salary, and on the way to get off work, I saw a beggar who was pitiful, and gave a few yuan casually. After dinner, I went to the bank to deposit money, and I met him again, he saved 5,000, and I saved 1,000.
2. An international student said: "I went to school in the United States, and two days ago, when I was walking on the road, I suddenly saw a very hip-hop black guy wearing headphones and shaking his head towards me. While walking, there are words to be recited. As he got closer, he floated out of the headphones: 'You were going to separate, and you were going to separate......I was messy ......”
3 When I was playing at the entrance of the village, I saw the dogs lying on the sun and sleeping on the ground, which was called a free one!I also lay there with the sun shining warmly and fell asleep after a while!My mother called me home for dinner at noon, but I didn't find that there was a dog lying in the middle of the dog, and finally the whole village searched for an afternoon to find it, and scared my parents so much that they gave me this fat beating.
4 Xiaohong asked her father: "Dad, what do you say is the largest animal in the world?"Dad thought for a moment and replied, "It's a blue whale." Xiaohong asked again, "What is the smallest animal?"Dad thought for a moment and replied, "It's bacteria." Xiaohong nodded, and then asked, "What's the smartest animal?"Dad smiled and replied, "Of course it's human." After hearing this, Xiaohong shook her head: "No, it's my mother, she can always know that I hide my pocket money in **."
5 That morning, while Xiao Wang was sleeping, he heard someone shouting outside the window: "Beat to death, beat to death, fight to death, reversed, reversed ......."”
The wife stabbed Xiao Wang with her arm and said, "Go and take a look, it is estimated that the little couple next door is arguing again!."”
Xiao Wang stuck his head out of the window and looked at it, and then fell asleep again.
When my wife heard that there was still a lot of noise outside, she complained, "Why don't you pull them away?"”
Xiao Wang smiled and said, "Don't be nervous, it's the husband of the house next door who is directing his wife to reverse." ”
6 When I was a child, my family was hard, and every time I got out of school during the busy farming season, I would help adults do what I could!Later, my father took it for granted, and let me do some heavy work!I asked my dad with a bitter face: I'm a girl, why do you want me to do all this heavy work, my mother has never done it!Dad doesn't want to say: Your mother is so thin, what can you do, you see that you are chubby, you have strength, children, you have to exercise!
7The robber pressed a man with a knife and said, "Give me the money!"Less nonsense!
The man took out all the things in his pocket, but he didn't have any money, only took out a wad of paper: no money, do you want equity certificates?
The robber took a sip and yelled: Don't irritate me, get out!If it weren't for this damn thing, would I have been able to come out and grab it?
8 I remember one time on Valentine's Day, I just went to the company in the morning and sat down, so I used my mobile phone to send a big red envelope of 520 yuan to my wife, and left a message below: Wife, I love you!Then it didn't take long for my wife to reply to me, a 520's red envelope, and also attached a sentence below: Husband, I love you too, and a little more!I ......It seems to be ** on the road!
9. A colleague is particularly fond of showing off. After eating together at noon, he said to us with a bitter face: "You said that I now have a house, a car, and a bank deposit, I really don't know what to bring her over when I marry my wife in the future!."”
At this time, the girl next to her said weakly: "Why don't you let her bring you a child over......."”
10 colleagues with cervical spine pain went to the blind shop for massage, as soon as he entered the door, he saw a young man who was playing with his mobile phone, and asked him to wait first, he went to call the master, not much effort, or this young man, closed his eyes and touched the wall and came in!
11The first time the mother took her son to kindergarten, she was afraid that her son would be wronged, so she said to the teacher, "If her son makes a mistake, please don't punish him."
The teacher angrily said, "You're going to spoil the kids."
The mother said, "Well, if my son makes a mistake, you punish the child next to him, scare and scare him!".
12After I lent money to a friend, he became my uncle!
Money can make ghosts grind, money is omnipotent, money can not only buy things, but also change the relationship between people. A friend borrowed money from me, I lent him the money, and then, I chased him for it, but he didn't pay it back, and I even called him uncle every time, just hoping that he would pay me back. Hey, after borrowing money, not only did the boat of friendship turn over, but also borrowed an uncle for himself!