How should parents deal with the retaliatory compensation after their children are banned from eating candy?
Misappropriation of children's property: the story behind retaliatory damages.
According to Guan's mother's personal experience, there seems to be no child who doesn't like candy. Especially during the festive season, who doesn't buy sweets to make their kids happy? But we also know that eating too much sugar is not good for children, so although we don't want to deprive children of the joy of childhood, we also want to control sugar for children - even if they like to eat it, they can't eat too much! But what we say"Sugar control"Not really"Sugar prohibition"。As the saying goes, if there is a change, if there is no encouragement, if we manage too much, the child will be uncontrollable one day! My sister-in-law's cousin is a prime example. She was not allowed to eat sugar since she was a child, and she had no concept of sugar until she went to kindergarten. However, after she went to kindergarten, the teacher occasionally used small candy as a reward for her good behavior. From the moment she tasted the sweetness, it was like discovering a new continent! Every time she goes to the supermarket, she will beg her mother to buy candy, and when she sees other children eating candy, she can't help but rush to eat it! Sister-in-law to"Not good for teeth"For this reason, the sugar content of my cousin is more strictly controlled. But the more this happens, the more obsessed the cousin becomes: whenever she finds something sweet, she can't help but eat it until her sister-in-law stops it. This continued until her children went to college. I distinctly remember that when my cousin came back from the winter vacation of her freshman year of college, everyone wondered: how did this girl seem to be a different person? She was originally thin, but she was born fat, her face was black and yellow, and she was pitted. What exactly did she go through? The sister-in-law complained weakly, this child has no concept of diet moderation at all! It turned out that my cousin was strictly forbidden to eat sweets since she was a child, went to college, got rid of the discipline of her parents, and began to eat unscrupulously. All kinds of cakes, milk tea, chocolates, ice cream, sweets, almost non-stop, in just a few months, I froze myself to eat twenty or thirty pounds! With this experience, my sister-in-law also realized that what she had done before was not enough. Don't let children eat candy since childhood, the restrictions are too strict, children are obedient on the surface, but deep down they have planted the seeds of rebellion, as long as there is a chance to retaliate, they will eat candy!
Psychology: The forbidden fruit effect makes children have a retaliatory compensation mentality.
Teacher Yin Jianli said:"Strangling a child's small desires can lead to a child's extreme desire for something and a compensatory mentality. "There is also a term in psychology called"Forbidden Fruit Effect", also known as:"The Romeo and Juliet effect"It means that when something or a certain type of information is banned or restricted, it will arouse greater interest and attention from people. This phenomenon is generally due to human curiosity and rebellion.
Psychological research has shown that the limitations that children feel during childhood can cause them to develop"Compensatory psychology", so much so that in adulthood, they will make it as soon as the opportunity is right"Retaliation"behavior to satisfy or make up for deficiencies. This psychology also applies to children who are controlled by sugar. In fact, children can't resist the sweetness of sweets**, but because they are not allowed, they can only suppress their desires, and as soon as they have the opportunity to get rid of the restrictions, the desire to eat sweets will explode! Moreover, the longer and more intensely this desire is restricted and suppressed, the stronger the outburst! It's like my sister-in-law's daughter, when she has the freedom to eat and drink, she eats sweets like crazy, as if she wants to make up for all the sweets she hasn't eaten in the past.
How to deal with your child's revenge compensation?
The child's revenge compensatory psychology is actually a rebellion against the prohibition and satisfaction of one's own desires. As parents, we must properly guide our children to express their needs and teach them to satisfy their desires in moderation. Here are some tips for dealing with your child's revenge compensation:
1) Know your child's needs: Talk to your child to find out what they really want in their heart. Children may not really want to eat sweets, but they may eat them to express their emotions or satisfy a need. Talk to your child about what they really need, such as emotional support, attention, or other ways to feel fulfilled.
2) Moderate limitation: Sugar control is necessary, but in moderation. You can talk to your child about setting a reasonable daily or weekly intake of sweets and explain why it's important to control sugar intake. It's also important to give your child healthy alternatives, such as fruits or nuts.
3) Cultivating children's self-control: Teach children to properly manage their desires and emotions. Through play, role-playing, or other means, children can learn to control their desires and emotions in a relatively safe environment.
4) Respect your child's wishes: While limiting sugar intake, we also need to respect children's right to choose. If they have a strong desire for a certain food, try to give them a moderate amount of choice and freedom, while teaching them to be responsible for their physical health.
5) Pay attention to mental health: If your child's retaliatory compensation psychology is severe and has a negative impact on physical and mental health, you can consider seeking help through professional counseling. Psychologists can help children deal with emotions and provide appropriate counseling and guidance.
In short, dealing with the child's retaliatory compensation psychology requires patience and understanding. With the right guidance and education, we can help children learn to satisfy their desires in moderation and improve their self-control.