What kind of couples love to quarrel the most?

Text|Marriage counselor Liu Jie

Have you ever had a fight with your partner? What are you arguing about?

Quarrels are all too common in couples. It can be said that there is no couple who does not quarrel. The difference is that some couples quarrel without affecting their relationship, but some couples quarrel more and more, and eventually the marriage is broken.

If there was a choice, probably no one would want to live a noisy life. But in real life, there are too many grievances and unbearable, making quarrels a thing that cannot be avoided.

It is said that quarrels will hurt feelings, and if quarrels are unavoidable, then let it become a lubricant for solving problems between husband and wife, rather than letting it become the "culprit" that destroys the marriage.

Marriage is diverse, and husbands and wives get along differently. So, what kind of couples love to quarrel the most?

I have summarized a large number of cases that I have been exposed to, in fact, there are some commonalities between couples who love to fight, such as the following three types of couples.

The first type is couples with low incomes

There is an old saying that "poor couples mourn everything", although it is said that money cannot solve all problems, but without money, it can indeed produce many problems.

Husbands and wives need money to support their lives. After all, there are so many places to spend money when we open our eyes every day. If you don't have money, your life will be a mess.

I have seen too many women who come to me for consultation, who have a bad relationship with their husbands, who are always arguing, who have a long cold war, and even have the idea of divorce. The root cause is that the husband does not earn money, or refuses to give it to the family.

The neighbor has a daughter who has been divorced twice. Now staying at her mother's house, she is looking for a third marriage. And every time she divorces, there is only one reason, that is, the man earns less money.

The first husband, since he was laid off, his income is precarious. I couldn't see any change after arguing, and finally divorced my husband with my daughter.

The second husband, although the income is still passable, but the calculation of the second marriage is vividly reflected in him. I was only willing to give her 1,000 yuan a month, and I didn't want to give any more.

The 1,000 yuan for the family is undoubtedly a drop in the bucket, and life is still hopeless in her opinion. The two of them were still arguing over money, and finally came to the end of divorce.

In real life, many couples will quarrel over money. If you don't have money, you will be sad, and your mood will be anxious. In this situation, quarrels become commonplace.

The second type is the husband and wife who are more aggressive

Some women are more capable than their husbands, earn more than their husbands, have opinions and ideas than their husbands, and so on. In this case, it is easy for husband and wife to quarrel because of disagreement or inconsistent ideas.

Could it be that the stronger a woman's ability, the stronger she is? Is it true that the stronger the stronger, the greater the temper?

This problem cannot be generalized, for some women, it is indeed because after they have the ability, they do not take their husbands in their eyes and want to be a "queen" at home.

However, for most women, their strength is "angry with their husbands".

The reason is that women are constantly growing and their abilities are constantly getting stronger. And the husband is standing still, unable to keep up with the rhythm of the woman. Women will be anxious, and they can't help but make loud noises and lose their temper.

Another reason is that women grow up and don't look down on their husbands. However, some men hold the traditional idea of male superiority and inferiority of women, and wait for women to serve, so it is easy for two people to conflict and quarrel.

The third type is the avoidant couple

When there is a disagreement or conflict between husband and wife, the two people do not think about how to solve the problem, but hold the idea of "going with the flow" and deal with it in an evasive way.

Maybe it's to avoid quarrels, or maybe it's not wanting to be counted down by the other party. Maybe one party thinks it's a trivial matter, and forget about it. But the other party planted resentment in his heart, and he didn't say anything but remembered his grudge.

The end result is that the temporary avoidance has laid a hidden danger for the rest of life. When the resentment and resentment in the heart accumulate, one day it will erupt into a quarrel.

You have to understand that many big problems in marriage are actually the result of the accumulation of small things.

If we don't act on small things, don't solve them, respond with avoidance. You think you'll be fine if you dodge, but that's just the surface. When the contradictions accumulate more and more, it will become an endless quarrel.

And this kind of quarrel also has a characteristic, that is, it will endlessly turn over old accounts. The reason why there are so many old accounts that can be turned over is that some things have not been resolved, and they all end up together.

Finally, what I want to tell you is that you don't take husband and wife quarrels seriously, thinking that everyone will quarrel in their lives.

You must know that if you quarrel too much, it will hurt the feelings of the husband and wife. If the problem is left unresolved, it is very likely that you will be on the verge of divorce, and it will not be easy to recover it at that time.

Author: Marriage counselor Liu Jie, focusing on love and marital problem solving. If you encounter any emotional distress, you can click on my avatar in the upper left corner to send me a private message, and I will help you analyze and solve it.