"Filial piety comes first", in any era, filial piety will be rewarded.
During the Three Kingdoms period, there was a man named Meng Zong, who lost his father when he was a child and lived with his mother.
Because his family was poor and his mother was sick again, he had nothing to do and ran to the bamboo forest to cry. After crying for a long time, I felt hot all over my body, and found that the spring breeze was coming, and the bamboo shoots had grown.
He used bamboo shoots to cook for his mother, who was cured. Some poets praised: "Teardrops are cold, Xiao Xiaozhu counts poles; The bamboo shoots must come out in winter, and the will of heaven beckons peace. ”
Don't worry, in the current society, we no longer worry about food and clothing, and when we sing the praises of filial piety, we must keep a clear head.There are always some children who use filial piety as an excuse to do things that harm the family and parents. The elderly should find out in time and urge their children to make corrections.
When we reach our seventies, our children are middle-aged. If the following situations occur, it means that the filial piety of the children has changed, and there is a possibility of gnawing at the old or degenerating. It is more terrible for children to become bad than unfilial piety, after all, the family has no future.
Married children reach out to their parents to ask for money, making it clear that they are gnawing at the elderly.
In rural areas, within a few months of the marriage of the children, they will find an auspicious day to divide the family.
Divide the house of the family into a new home for the children, and divide the land and cultivate it separately.
The advantage of separating a family is to let children know the "hardships of being in charge", so that they can have a greater sense of responsibility. For poor families, there may be hope for children to rise up when they live alone, after all, they are left behind the drag of the extended family.
Families with many children show their powers, and there is always one child who can mix up a way, so as to set a good example for everyone.
My younger uncle, in his twenties, was separated from the extended family. He went to work in the county machinery factory and then built a motor boat himself. As a result, he made a pot of gold by transporting timber. Under his leadership, the fourth uncle also began to do transportation, and the family gradually became rich.
If people want to succeed, they are forced out. If the extended family is finally the backing of one person, it will nourish "laziness".
In real life, there are always some children who say, "I don't have skills, I have a physical disability, my family has a big burden, and I'm unlucky." "After that, he stayed at home and lived on his parents' pension or savings.
Therefore, for married children, when asking their parents for money, they must have a more mindful mind, figure out the reason for using the money, and write an IOU.
Parents who are not more serious about money are very generous on the surface, but in fact, they harm their children and pit themselves.
After the divorce, the children became depressed, hurting themselves and their parents' hearts.
Life inevitably has ups and downs. The daughter who marries out may have to go back to her parents' house because of divorce; The son who got married, because the marriage failed, had to rely on his parents.
As a parent, you should help your child after the marriage fails. But there is a problem to see: divorce, widowhood, and even meeting a third party are not a disaster that will be trapped for a lifetime, but a fresh start.
If there are children who start the mode of gnawing at the old immediately after the failure of their marriage, or they are in a state of collapse, it means that the rest of their lives have been abolished. Parents should not be soft-hearted, but force their children to stand up.
During the Han Dynasty, Zhuo Wangsun, a wealthy man in Sichuan, heard that his son-in-law had died of illness and took his daughter home. The daughter was gifted and intelligent, and she did not cry for a long time because of the loss of her husband, but chose to elope with Sima Xiangru.
In the face of his daughter's actions, Zhuo Wangsun was very angry, but he was also very pleased, after all, his daughter's mentality was positive and she was not afraid of marriage. Therefore, Zhuo Wangsun gave half of the property to his daughter Zhuo Wenjun and helped his son-in-law live a happy life.
Aren't we fighting all our lives just to make our children live better? If our children encounter difficulties and immediately turn on the "collapse" mode, then when we are old, we will really have nothing to rely on, and we will have to accompany our children to live a "weeping day" together.
Tell your children that no matter what the situation is, they should be more courageous. The sky will not fall, and people can touch the bottom. For many people, a second marriage is better than a first marriage, and a person with a child will also be happy. Without a small family, it's a big deal to rebuild.
Children dump their grandchildren in the hands of the elderly, which increases the life and mental pressure of the elderly.
In the Korean movie "Love Home", it tells the story of a single mother who sends her son to her grandmother's house in the countryside, and then goes to find a job by herself.
The son got along with his grandmother for a long time, and finally understood his grandmother's suffering. At the same time, the mother also found a job through her own efforts and was able to return to the city with her son.
This is what middle-aged people should look like. No matter how difficult it is, don't leave your child's life to the elderly at home.
In real life, there are always some people who find various reasons to dump their children at the elderly. The old man is seventy or eighty years old, and he can't even manage himself, how can he manage his children?If the old man doesn't care about the child and can't bear it, he will feel guilty.
At present, it is not surprising that middle-aged people have two children and three children;After the divorce, it is not surprising that there needs to be an old man to take care of the children. Strangely, middle-aged people are extremely irresponsible with their children. Treat raising children as child's play.
If the elderly want to take care of their grandchildren for a long time, they must make three chapters of the law, and they must not be soft-hearted. It's one thing to help, it's another to take it for granted.
Don't take care of your grandchildren for a long time unless you have to. It's not that the old man is ruthless and unloving, but that he can't do it and needs to take care of himself.
In my hometown, there is such a way of running a family - one generation manages the next.
Every generation must "take care of themselves in life", relying on their parents is temporary, and relying on themselves is eternal.
As an old man in his seventies and eighties, you should be moderately selfish and don't let your children and grandchildren gnaw at old age. Even if you don't have children to take care of you, at least you can't let your children drag you down.
There are many ways to be filial, one of which is - children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren.
When it comes to seeing that children and grandchildren can break into the hall and laugh at life, the elderly are in a good mood, the family style is right, and filial piety is reflected.
Tell your children: "We are old, we are no longer your dependence, please forgive us if we have done something wrong." ”