1 Zhang San went to the public toilet, the toilet only had four places, he knocked on the door, only one was empty.
When he opened the door, he couldn't set foot on it, so he had to come out and close the door again.
It just so happened that Li Si came in again at this time, Li Si opened the door and glanced back, glaring at Zhang San: "Don't rush after?!" Zhang San pointed to the urinal with his finger: "Less nonsense, do you see steam?" ”
2 When I went to the restaurant to eat, the proprietress was very tough, and scolded the boss like a grandson, so I couldn't help but say more, and as a result, I quarreled with the proprietress and took off her apron angrily.
I told my boss that you should not get used to dealing with such a woman, and the more you get used to it, the worse your temper will become.
As a result, my pig's head meat was served, and as soon as I tasted it, it was salty to the Pacific Ocean.
I asked the boss, why is this dish so salty?
The boss said that maybe this pig was too nosy when he was alive, so it was salty!
3 The young man cried to the master: "Master, I failed the college entrance examination, I couldn't get into the university, my parents scolded me, and my girlfriend left me, please accept me and let me take refuge in Buddhism!" ”
I saw the master take out a stack of college entrance examination materials, and the young man suddenly realized: "The master is telling me not to give up the college entrance examination and fight again next year, right?" ”
The master shook his head and said, "Donor, we only recruit undergraduates and above, you better go back and be admitted to the undergraduate program first and then come for an interview!" ”
4 quarreled with my wife and didn't talk to me anymore, she just listened to songs, from a kind breakup to later, to a single love song, to a cheap, and now she is the most familiar stranger ......I was horrified to hear it.
5 In the second grade of elementary school, the back door of the school was a column-shaped iron gate ......It was snowing heavily that day, and I wanted to skip class, so I drilled into the crack of the column, but it turned out to be good, my whole body went out, and my head was stuck in it, and my classmates asked me curiously, what are you doing? I said, come on, it's fun! So on that snowy morning, there was a row of elementary school students stuck at the door!
6A couple of boyfriends and girlfriends are sitting on a park bench and falling in love, and the woman suddenly wants to fart.
Say to the man: I am a cuckoo in my school, and you don't hear like an elephant.
The man was really willing to listen.
So, under the cover of the birdsong of "cuckoo cuckoo", the woman happily let out a loud fart.
Woman: Doesn't the elephant look like a cuckoo?
M: The fart is too loud, I can't hear it clearly!
7 The old Liu, who teaches mathematics, recently cut off his long hair and beard, and he wants to see if the students can still recognize him. So, he pretended to find someone to come to the class and asked, "Is Teacher Liu from your class here?" When the students saw it, they laughed and said, "Oh my God, Mr. Liu cut his hair, and he can't even recognize himself." ”
8When I was in high school, the Chinese teacher saw that the girl in front of me was sleepy, so he asked her to answer the question.
She stood up without saying a word, and stood for two minutes, the class dead silent.
The teacher said helplessly, "Sit down." ”
I saw that the woman sat down and lay down on the table and fell asleep immediately.
At the end of class, the girl turned around sleepily and said to me, "I dreamed just now that the teacher asked me to answer a question. ”
9 Woman: "What are the conditions for falling in love?" ”
M: "A man and a woman. ”
Woman: "Nonsense! ”
Man: "That's right, a bunch of nonsense is needed. ”
10 afternoon with my husband at the company dinner, my husband checked my mobile phone on a whim and found that his caller name was "my second goods".
He excitedly asked me, "I'm only second in your heart!" Who is Yishan? ”
I laughed with the people who ate around me, and it turned out that husband, you are really two.
11 When my wife reached middle age, she couldn't help but recall her youth: "I think about my figure back then, with beautiful mountains and rivers on the front, cliffs on the side, and willows and flowers on the back, right, husband?" ”
The husband thought for a moment and said, "Yes, but you're so much eroded......."”
12 When his son didn't do well in the exam, his wife beat him up.
Then I went to comfort him: "Study hard, and when you grow up, you must be better than your father." ”
The son gritted his teeth and said, "I can't guarantee anything else, but the wife I am looking for must be gentler and better than your wife!" ”