Talk more about value, less about emotions
When my friend was working as a journalist in Beijing, he had a very close colleague who was responsible for reporting on finance and healthcare. In order to write a manuscript on the doctor-patient relationship, this colleague went to various levels of hospitals in urban and rural areas, and despite many difficulties encountered in the investigation process, such as being directly rejected by doctors or scolded by patients, she still insisted on completing the manuscript and handing it over to the leadership.
However, the leader of the night severely criticized the manuscript, ridiculing everything from the title to the content. This was not the first time she had been scolded by her superiors, and she gradually felt that working in this unit lacked human feelings, and finally chose to resign. After that, she went from newspaper to newspaper, but every time she resigned, the reason was that she felt that the unit was impersonal. Although she changed jobs several times, she did not achieve significant results in the end.
Friends have found that some people are accustomed to judging a job by its emotional value, but often ignore the essence of the workplace. No company has the obligation to make its employees happy, the workplace is a training ground, and employees should pay more attention to their own growth and value. When a leader makes a criticism, if the criticism is wrong, you can choose to ignore it; But if the criticism is correct, you should accept it and work hard to improve it so that you can continue to grow.
Emotional value is not a necessity in the workplace, but a surprise that is hard to come by. After all, we go to work to earn money and grow personally.
The workplace is a training ground, talk more about value and less about emotions.
It is better to cherish time than to consume energyRecently, a new term has appeared on the Internet - "workplace giant baby", which is used to describe those who are biologically adults, but show an extremely immature mentality in the workplace. They expect their leaders to care for them like babies, and their colleagues must tolerate their behavior unconditionally. In fact, this immature workplace mentality is present in many people.
I know a well-known editor who joined a film and television studio after graduation and was responsible for editing all kinds of promotional films and advertising creative films. However, in the process of staying up late to edit**, the boss suddenly sent a message criticizing him for not caring about his work, and **editing was messy. In the face of such feedback, his mentality collapsed instantly, and he immediately wrote a large rebuttal text, emphasizing the hardships of his work and the situation of often staying up all night to catch up on tasks.
While writing these words, he complained in his heart: The last time I edited ** made the customer so satisfied, why didn't you praise me, boss? I have taken on so much work alone, why didn't you give me kind words and comfort, boss? The more he thought about it, the more he felt aggrieved, and finally chose to resign the next day.
However, in the years that followed, he gradually became aware of his problems and reflected deeply on the matter. He concluded: "Your boss doesn't have an obligation to comfort you and make you happy, and you don't have the right to demand emotional value from the company. Work is just work, there is only good and bad. Now, when confronted with a similar situation again, he simply replies: "I will reflect on the recent problems and adjust as soon as possible." ”
The company is not a home, instead of spending energy on how much emotional support the company provides, it is better to spend time on real work and complete every task steadily. A mature workplace should understand that the workplace is a place of value and results, not a place of emotional fulfillment.
Put away the weakness,Learn to cross yourselfIn an interview, when Jobs was asked what kind of people he liked to work with, he didn't hesitate to say, "People who are focused on their own growth." This sentence reveals a profound truth for us: in the workplace, we should first pursue personal growth, rather than focusing too much on emotional value.
Indeed, we are not in the workplace for comfort and praise, but for growth and salary increases. Therefore, we should put growth value first and emotional value secondary. This is a work concept that a mature person in the workplace should have.
I couldn't agree more with the saying, "You're here to make money, not to make friends." "Relationships between colleagues are primarily based on work interests, rather than deep emotional foundations. Therefore, we should not expect our colleagues to greet us or lend a helping hand when we are in trouble. Such expectations often only lead to disappointment and frustration.
On Douban, a film and television screenwriter shared his experience. She once poured a lot of effort into a screenplay, and was even moved by her own words. However, when she submitted the script to Party A with great anticipation, she was harshly criticized. Party A thinks that her abilities are insufficient, the narrative is chaotic, and the plot is old-fashioned. This sudden criticism made her feel lost and frustrated.
She tried to find comfort and support among her colleagues, but to her disappointment, they did not give her enough care and encouragement. She even found that some people were just perfunctory, while others simply chose to avoid talking about it. This left her deeply distressed and confused: why are colleagues so indifferent to her?
This story tells us that in the workplace, we should not treat our colleagues as confidants. While we may have good personal relationships with some of our colleagues, we must be clear that the essence of the workplace is the exchange of interests and cooperation. Therefore, we should learn to remain independent and strong at work, and put away our weaknesses and grievances.
**AggrievedIt's your strengthIn the field of psychology, experts often refer to two distinct coping models: the healer model and the self-healer model. People in the healer model tend to seek outside help and comfort when they encounter harm or frustration, hoping to be healed from others. On the other hand, people in the self-healing model are more independent and resilient, they know how to heal themselves in any difficult situation, and find strength and courage from within.
At work, people who always ask others to take care of their emotions are often seen as weak. A truly strong person knows how to adjust his mentality and become a master. They understand that in the workplace, no one will always be by their side, and everyone needs to learn to stand up on their own and make up for their mistakes.
In his book "The Minimalist Rules of Work", Richard Teppler profoundly points out: "In the workplace, colleagues can quickly lose confidence in a person who is unable to handle and control their emotions well. "This is not unfounded. In the workplace, everyone is struggling with their goals and dreams, and there is not enough time and energy to pay attention to the emotions of others. Therefore, those who are able to self-discipline and self-adjustment are often able to win the respect and trust of their colleagues.
The story shared by Ms. Zhang Lijun further confirms this. She once led a group of college students, but in the end only a few stayed. One of the girls, although she was not outstanding when she first entered the workplace, she had a rare ability to self-digest emotions. In the face of setbacks and difficulties in her work, she did not complain and give up, but chose to work hard and constantly improve herself. In the end, she became the best member of the team and was also highly praised by Zhang Lijun.
This story tells us that the emotional value in the workplace does not come from the comfort and praise of others, but from one's own strength and performance. The results of your work directly determine your status and influence in the workplace. Therefore, stopping asking for emotional value from others and instead focusing on improving one's own abilities and values is the beginning of a person who is truly powerful.
Learn to self-heal, self-adjust, and constantly improve your ability and value. In this way, we can be invincible in the workplace and win the respect and trust of others.
Things are man-made, and when you encounter problems, you should introspect firstDong Yuhui's story is a typical history of workplace growth. At first, when he first entered the workforce, he became the object of ridicule from his colleagues because of his accent. Whenever he submitted work materials, the leader always hastily read them and returned them to him, which undoubtedly brought him a huge blow. During that time, he was mired in self-doubt, and always felt that the people around him were prejudiced against him and did not like him as a person.
However, Dong Yuhui did not give up. He chose to prove himself with his actions, and through unremitting efforts, he gradually showed his ability and value in his work. When he received praise from his parents, and when the courseware he produced was praised by the leaders in public, he suddenly realized: it turned out that everyone did not have opinions about him before, but were dissatisfied with the work he did.
In CCTV's "Youth Lesson" program, Dong Yuhui shared his mental journey, and his words deeply touched me: "Many of our troubles are because of pondering the wrong direction between people and things. "It's true, many times we focus too much on other people's perceptions and attitudes and ignore the essence of the problem. Dong Yuhui used his own experience to tell us: things come first, and when we encounter problems, we should face them and deal with them; If you are criticized, you should reflect on yourself and strive to improve. When you do your job well, your leaders and colleagues will naturally see your efforts and achievements and be impressed by you.
It reminds me of a Netflix hiring principle: "We only hire adults." "Adult" here does not refer to adulthood in age, but to mental maturity. The workplace is not a greenhouse, and it will not tolerate giant babies and vexatiousness. In the workplace, no one is obligated to take care of your emotions and make you happy all the time. All grievances and dissatisfaction need to be digested and dealt with by yourself.
After years of experience in the workplace, I have come to realize more and more that the workplace is a Shura field full of competition and challenges. Here, emotional values are illusory and ephemeral; And self-worth is real and long-lasting. If a person wants to make a name for himself in the workplace and win respect and recognition, he must constantly improve his ability and value. Only in this way can you stand out in this cruel Shura field and become a real winner.