The path of life is all about gains and losses. When you have a certain amount of happiness, you have to understand that there are some things that you have to give up. In interpersonal communication, the most basic thing is to give a sincere heart, and only kindness and sincerity can allow us to meet sincere friends. However, reality tells us that in the face of some people, "thin affection" must be "thin affection", otherwise the injured person is yourself. When people are old, they must learn to be unkind to these people, and the more delicate they are, the more blessed they are.
Hui Shi, a good friend of Zhuangzi, became the prime minister of the Liang state. Zhuangzi went to see him, and Wyeth thought that Zhuangzi wanted to replace him, so he was frightened and ordered a raid on Zhuangzi. When Xiangzi found out, he went to see Yuan Chu and told him the story of Yuan Chu. The sparrow is a very noble bird that does not fall on the plane tree, does not eat the fruit of bamboo, and does not drink sweet spring water. The kite grabbed the rotting rat and ran over it. The eagle glared at him and roared, "Hey, don't take my mouse."
Zhuangzi compares Yuan Chu to a rotting mouse and Wyeth to an owl eating rotten mice to show the purity of his ambition. Since ancient times, people of insight have gone their own way and have not colluded with each other. People who like to compete for fame and fortune only care about interests and never care about love. "Zhongshan Collection" said: "When I am old, I know that what is defeated by time is falsehood and hypocrisy, and the real will always exist."
In life, we will always meet people who "don't take advantage enough", always feel that they are very smart, and tell lies over and over again, saying that they are forced to take things. There is a saying that "the heart of prevention is indispensable, and the heart of harm is indispensable". Some people are smart and calculating, but most of us are real people, and we feel that we should be good to others as long as they are good to us. When people are old, they must know how to be vigilant, keep their eyes open, and never be confused by the kindness of others, especially those single old people, in the face of sudden "well-wishers", do not feel that it is their own "charm and ability", and learn to distinguish.
In the "Thirty-six Measures", there is such a plan, hiding a knife in a smile. You should be wary when someone smiles, looks harmless, but says something plausible to you. The essence of all "smiling knives" must be bayonets, and there are no other consequences. Gongtai Shi said that the noise in the world is good, and the world is good. People in rivers and lakes come and go to make money. You and me, don't be deceived by the superficial pretense of others.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Zheng Wei wanted to annex the state of Hu, but his military strength was not strong and he did not dare to attack directly. So, he married his beautiful daughter to King Hu, and through this marriage, Zheng and Hu became in-laws. In order to further make Hu lose his vigilance, Zheng Wei summoned his ministers and said: "I want to use the army to revitalize the country, which country do you think is the most advantageous to attack?" The ministers talked a lot, and Guan Qisi said frankly: "From the point of view of a fool, it is most appropriate to attack Hu.
When Duke Wei heard this, his face immediately changed, and he said angrily: "Ah, what do you mean when you say that you want to use force against your brother's Hu State?" "Kill Crownis at once. When King Hu found out, he felt that Zheng was very good to him, so he was no longer wary of Zheng. However, soon after, Zheng Guo suddenly attacked Hu, who was unprepared and was wiped out.
In life, there are always difficulties, and relatives and friends can lend a helping hand in time. But remember, don't just tolerate the demands of relatives and friends, especially the poor who don't need to help. You can help others get out of temporary difficulties, but don't just help relatives and friends who are poor, lazy, and love to ask for more. Not everyone knows how to be grateful, and the ancestors have long understood this truth, so there is an allusion to "rising rice, fighting rice autumn". The ancients often said that "fighting the crown and taking revenge" is the same thing.
Gao Yun, the king of Northern Yan, saved two people who were dying of starvation and gave them many treasures and beauties. In the eyes of ordinary people, King Beiyan can be said to be an out-and-out king. However, the two rescued people were not satisfied at all, and they asked, "You are already a king, why don't you give us an official position?" Later, they killed the King of Northern Yan together. Really, the human heart is not enough to swallow an elephant, and you can never imagine how many desires can satisfy the heart of someone who does not know how to be grateful. And this kind of people have one thing in common, they blindly ask for it without knowing what they want in return, in their eyes, they never remember what others have paid, and as long as others don't help him, they will scold people.
When people are old and have experienced the ebb and flow of life, people like to do things peacefully. For all kinds of different people he comes into contact with, he always has a kind heart, even if he can see through a person's heart at a glance, knows the other party's bad intentions, and doesn't want to expose it too early. Often choose to "close your eyes" and play the role of "good guy". However, if you choose to back off, you give them the opportunity to continue targeting you. Because once someone bullies you and sees that you don't resist, they won't think you're kind and don't want to resist, but think that you're naturally a bully. Therefore, next time, I will never get tired of this happiness for you.
You must know that even if you want to "reconcile with others", the premise is to follow a certain bottom line, and not to indulge others without restraint, and in the end you will let yourself suffer more than you gain.
There is one man who is more terrible than a villain, and that is a hypocrite. For hypocrites, Mr. Li Zongwu said the word "thick black", in his opinion, all sophisticated hypocrites have thick skins and their hearts are blacker than coal. The ancient Gou Jian and Sima Yi were such "thick black" people, and their horror was often beyond our imagination. When patience is needed, when the throat needs to be sealed with the sword, it is impossible to defend.
People in the rivers and lakes, how to find hypocrites, how to prevent hypocrites?Hypocrites generally like to say things that are morally noble, even morally kidnapped, but they always do those things behind the scenes, which is their most obvious trait. There is only one way to guard against hypocrites: stay away from them.
As people get older, they become richer and more successful, and successful people tend to become popular in the eyes of some. They will find ways to get close to you and use your resources and status to achieve their own ends. These people may behave very attentively and enthusiastically, but in reality their purpose is just to take advantage of you. For such people, you have to learn to be ruthless, don't easily believe their rhetoric, and don't easily give help. Be vigilant and don't allow yourself to be someone else's tool.
As the saying goes, "Grace will take revenge." "* The world is not a simple relationship that can be maintained. If you are good to others, others will be good to you;If you consume someone else, you consume your own network. People are mutual. In the process of interpersonal communication, you must know how to cherish those who are really good to you. Break up ruthlessly in the face of relationships that consume you, and don't overestimate your relationship with anyone.
Life comes and goes, but the days are short. In this complex society, we should learn to choose friends and cherish those who are truly good to us. When people get older, they gradually realize that some friends just eat, drink and have fun, and they can't bring spiritual comfort to themselves. Instead, they can cost you money, time, and energy, and even drain your energy.
Friends of wine and meat, accustomed to enjoying life, love to calculate, love to take advantage of small advantages, and are unwilling to work hard to operate for life. If a friend who drinks and meat becomes cold to you, leave him in time. In fact, friends who drink and meat can't be called friends at all, because they are filled with false feelings in their hearts, and they can't laugh, that is, they don't have a sincere heart. Such a person is like a "moth", and approaching it will cause great harm to itself.
As people grow older, the human heart becomes simpler, and some people return to nature. I don't want to pay with low-quality friendship, and I prefer to subtract for the people around me. Those idle friends always have countless dinners and drinking parties, and they are actually wasting their time by eating, drinking, and having fun every day. Drunken bragging, can be anyone, but when drunk, who remembers whom. You're wasting your time with those idle friends.
When people reach middle age, the rest of their lives are precious. Don't mess around, you have to learn to "ruthlessly leave" friends you don't like. True friends, it is enough to have so many, friends don't care about quantity, they need quality.
The most feared people in life are those who are very bad, the more they have ulterior motives, the more they like to put on a good coat, which makes people unable to defend. When I was younger, I didn't really fit into the world, and I was always tormented by these people. When you are old, you will finally be clear and transparent, that is, time keeps a distance.
Adults don't have to change anyone, after all, you can't do anything, others will think you are too much, and you don't have so much time to get rid of your troubles. You can only sift through people and things that are good for you, and having a very bad mentality is a disaster, he may not have a good ending, and you will get into trouble. Break up early and enjoy your own happiness.
There are many things in life that you don't realize until you experience them. Being too kind in relationships is sometimes not an advantage. I am too good to everyone around me and always understand the hardships and difficulties of others, so I have to bear the greatest sacrifices and grievances. However, even then, it did not exchange the sincerity of many people, but was repeatedly used to deceive.
In this case, there is really no need to take others too seriously, especially this type of person. Be cruel when you should be cruel. Only after experiencing the hurt of others will people fully understand that ruthlessness is not ruthlessness, but purposeful affection, leaving the most ruthless side to passers-by and idlers, and leaving the most affectionate side to family and friends, this is the real ruthlessness.
Perhaps, only people who have experienced ups and downs and seen vicissitudes will become emaciated, and this is precisely the embodiment of a person's maturity, so that their kindness grows "teeth". It is only in the cracks of society that we can find a foothold. All kinds of people in society, good or bad are not written on their faces, if you are more vigilant, you will definitely not be wrong.