Hello everyone, welcome to "Couple's Daily Funny Dialogue":
It is said that there is no horse spoon that does not touch the edge of the pot, and the flirting and quarreling between husband and wife are like storms in nature, looking at it from another angle, it is also the spice of the family, and the joy of life can also be understood as the unique mood between husband and wife.
The wife suddenly asks her husband, "Do you love me?" ”
Love, of course love! The husband replied without hesitation.
The wife thought for a while and asked, "Are you afraid of hurting me?"
The husband hurriedly said, "No, no, I said it because I was afraid that you would hurt me." ”
My hand was injured and I was hanging a bottle in the hospital, and my girlfriend wanted to accompany me, so I told her to go to work quickly, otherwise I would be attacked by the boss again.
My girlfriend thought for a moment, put her hand to my mouth, closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, and said, "Bite hard with your little tiger teeth."
My girlfriend looked at the hand that was bitten out of the pit by me and glared at me fiercely, picked up the tomato sauce left over from the hamburger and smeared it in the pit where it was bitten, took a ** and sent it to their boss and said: "I was bitten by a dog, I have to be vaccinated, and I will take three days off." ”
Couples pick up the courier.
The boyfriend said, "You bought so many clothes again? “
The girlfriend replied lightly: "Don't let you buy it?" “
Seeing that the atmosphere was about to drop to the freezing point, the boy hurriedly said with a smile on his face: "No, you wear different clothes every day, I'm afraid that I will always want to see you stick to you, afraid that you will be annoying." “
The girlfriend said proudly: "It's pretty much the same! “
Why do women have body odor and men don't?
Asked: "Should a good husband have a wife's ** in his wallet?"
Answer: "This is wrong, a good husband should not have his own wallet. ”
Asked: "Why do women have body odor and men don't?" ”
Answer: "Probably the cosmetics have been pickled." ”
Beautiful women are not suitable to be wives!
Today, I accompanied my husband to dinner and met his ex-girlfriend, who has an outstanding figure and appearance. After returning home, I teased my husband: "Did you give up such a Bai Fumei and finally marry me because I was more attractive than her?" As a result, the second husband said: You think too much, it's because beautiful women are not suitable to be wives, so I married you. I was speechless.
I have a female classmate, at the class reunion that year, she was so drunk that everyone said to call her husband to pick her up.
So I turned him out, found my husband, and asked him to pick him up.
When her husband came, a female classmate asked him: How do you prove that it is her husband?
My husband thought about it: she had a mole on her left chest.
That's right, you can take her back." Several male classmates said at the same time.
The daughter-in-law was playing with her husband's mobile phone and accidentally fell to the ground, the phone case and battery fell out, and there was 100 yuan hidden inside. The daughter-in-law looked at her husband: "Explain!" My husband panicked and said, "Oh my God! I fell so hard that I threw out all the phone bills...The husband snatched his daughter-in-law's mobile phone and threw it on the bed, and a man crawled out of the bed. Husband: "What's going on?" The daughter-in-law panicked and said, "Oh my God, the mobile phone contacts have all fallen out!"
My wife bought a new dress, and I asked, "How much?" ”
The wife said, "I'm afraid that one stone will stir up a thousand waves." ”
I said, "The price won't make a thousand waves!" It's just a snack. ”
Wife: "Husband, you performed awesome today, tell the truth!" Three thousand. ”
I suppressed my anger and said, "Hey, 3,000 yuan is in vain." ”
My wife had an awkward relationship with me again, and I tried my best to coax her, but she still kept a straight face, and then said four words: "Perfect match".
I pondered it carefully, and immediately understood, and went downstairs to buy two catties of pork face meat at the braised vegetable shop....The pig's face must be harmonious!
The wife ate the pork face meat, and said word by word: "The bead is the pearl of the pearl, the chain is the chain of the necklace, and the bead chain must be harmonious!" ”
I ......, this wife is really burning money! ）
Lao Wang and his wife are both operators.
One day the two quarreled, and Lao Wang slammed the door and left.
In the evening, his wife dialed Lao Wang's mobile phone, and Lao Wang said angrily: "Hello! This is the Leave Service**. Bow your head to admit your mistake, press 1; For resolute divorce, press 2; If you want to hit someone, this desk will transfer you to 110. ”
My wife was so angry that she hung up**.
Late at night, Lao Wang came home and found that the door was locked, so he could only call his wife's mobile phone, only to hear his wife say in a false voice: "Hello! Here's the "who's afraid of whom" service**. If you want to go home, kneel on the washboard; If you want to get a divorce, kneel on the nail board on your knees; If you feel unwell, this desk will transfer you to 120. ”
Hahaha, this couple has a better time than me! ）
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