1 Take the bus, there are a lot of people, a girl is sitting and eating pancakes, I stand next to me.
Seeing that the girl's shoelaces were open, I patted my sister, and wanted to remind her that the shoelaces were open, but the girl was startled, and the pancakes that had just eaten two bites fell off, and I looked at the sister's resentful eyes and said nervously: "Sister, your pancakes fell ......."”
2 On a snack street in Changsha, a timid tourist tried spicy food for the first time. He cautiously took a small sip, then his face changed and he hurried around looking for water to drink. The vendors and tourists next to him couldn't help but laugh when they saw this scene, and a kind stall owner handed him a bottle of ice water, which was a very interesting scene.
3 After reading his son's diary, the husband scolded his wife, and the diary read: Uncle Chen came to my house to play today, and my mother said that I can have a snack after I finish my homework. Then, Uncle Chen praised me for doing my homework, so he picked up my mother, and my mother told my uncle to be careful, and then my uncle kissed my mother and kissed me. The wife scolded her son, and the son cried: Dad, I made a mistake in punctuation!
4 My brother is 18 years old this year, and his height is more than one meter and eight, that is, he is too homely, not out of the house, if there is something at home to ask him to buy it is basically impossible to go, and then my father wants to practice him, so he went to get 10,000 yuan, put a small bag for him, and said to him, "Go out to buy things today, don't come back if you don't spend all this money" My brother was scared and cried!
5 classmates came to Wuhan on a business trip, I took him back to my hometown, and we both drank too much in the evening. In the morning, when we were packing up and returning, my mother brought a snakeskin bag in the corner of the courtyard and asked my classmates to take it back. Last night he sat there and ate this thing, eating one bite and throwing one bite at a time, just like a monkey eating a peach! "I ......Classmates ......Drinking and making mistakes, it's a big mess!
6 A friend had a birthday, and his wife bought him a suit of clothes and a pair of shoes, which cost him more than 5,000 in total. The next day, he said that he couldn't find it when he got up in the morning, so he called his wife: "The clothes I bought yesterday went to **?" "Retire, watching your birthday make you happy and happy......Meaning meaning!
7. In the past, when the family's pet dog was about to give birth to a puppy, my daughter said that she would not let me near the dog. I asked my daughter why? She said: I don't want our dog, it's as ugly as your father!
8 baby: Ma Ma quickly give me medicine, I want to take medicine, I think I'm sick.
Ma Ma: You're not sick, what medicine are you taking if you're not sick!
Baby: I don't have a cold, I don't need to take medicine if I'm not sick, do I?
Ma Ma: Yes, you don't need to take medicine if you're not sick!
Baby: Ma Ma, I'll go get ice cream and eat it, you said I could eat it if I wasn't sick!
9. It turns out that this draw is not the other. When I was in high school, I learned to smoke, and once I was smoking at home, and my mother found out, and at night my mother said to my father: This kid dares to smoke, what do you say! My dad took a puff of cigarette and said, "Smoke!" I was overjoyed: Haha, Dad, I love you to death......As soon as I finished speaking, I saw my mother take a feather duster and said, "You say, how many strokes?"
10One day, Xiao Ming went to a shop to buy something. But after he checked out, he didn't find the sign "buy one get four free". So he asked the boss, "Boss, why are you not honest, you handed over the four things you sent!" The "boss" has already given you, cash slips, plastic bags, receipts, invoices are all sent for purchases! ”
11A fat woman came to a butcher stall and asked for four pounds of pork.
The salesman said, "It's so strange what you want, just buy five catties!" ”
The fat woman hurriedly explained: "You don't know, I'm **, I've lost four pounds, seven taels and five dollars, I just want to see how big a piece of meat this is." ”
12 I once couldn't help but ask an elder relative, why are the elders always keen to persuade young people to marry early and have children early?
She said slowly, let your group also experience the difficulty of life.