1 I had a birthday yesterday, but I caught up with my good friend's wedding, and I couldn't go home for a reunion in the evening, so I drank outside for half the night. When I came back in the middle of the night, I found that my son had already celebrated my birthday. There was a small note on the table: Dad, I ate your cake for you, and I also made a wish for you, wishing your son's teacher less homework!
2The mobile phone was stolen, and I cried on the spot in a hurry. At a loss, my boyfriend calmly said to me, "Trust me, I will help you recover it." In this way, an hour passed, and my boyfriend really chased the phone back for me. However, everything in the phone has been deleted, the phone card has also been thrown away, and even the film of the phone and the case of the phone have been thrown away to me. But I still decided that I would never marry such a boyfriend in my life!
3 bought a box of stinky tofu, accidentally spilled it when taking the bus, rubbed on the aunt's clothes next to her, the aunt couldn't stand it, and told me that her clothes were newly bought, and she was going to attend her son's wedding tomorrow, which ruined me all. I pondered it again and again, and finally gritted my teeth and said, "Okay, if your son can't marry a daughter-in-law tomorrow, I'll marry him." My aunt glanced at me: "Girl, did you touch porcelain?" ”
4Two ladies complain about the congestion of today's buses, which makes them miserable. One said, "I'm so unlucky! In the car, I was squeezed and miscarried. One said, "I'm called unlucky!" In the car, I was so crowded that I was pregnant. ”
5Sitting on a park bench and listening to a song with headphones on, a handsome guy came over, he pointed to the empty seat next to me and asked, "Beauty, can I sit here?" This is obviously the rhythm of the conversation, I saw that this handsome guy is also my favorite type, so I wanted to tease him! I said, "This chair is too cold, sit on my lap!" That handsome guy's face turned red as soon as he slammed it, and he left without daring to raise his head!
6 years ago, I went to my mother-in-law's house for the first time, and my mother-in-law was ready to kill the big rooster that she had fed for two years in order to show her attention, but this rooster monkey spirit was always caught. At this point, I stepped forward and said, "I'll do it." "I threw off my arms and spread my feet, and the weasel chased after me around the yard. I was stunned when I saw my mother-in-law!
7My mother texted me: "Your dad is idle and fishing." I asked, "How many have you caught?" Mother: "Just three." I praised: "Wherever you fish, I will also fish." Mother: "In the fish tank you raised."
8. The mother-in-law's dog has a large black spot on the left side of the face, and the mother-in-law fell yesterday and bruised the left side of the face, so she rested at home.
My wife and I went to visit, and looking at my mother's face, I racked my brains and couldn't think of any words of comfort.
At this time, the dog came over, I looked at the dog, the dog looked at me, I looked at the mother-in-law again, and held back a sentence; "Mom, your face is like a dog's face. ”
9 The woman asked shyly: Do you like my angel's face, or the devil's figure?
The man was stunned for a moment and replied: I, I still like your sense of humor.
10Dad, you have such a big son outside, does my mother know?
Xiao Ming made a mistake, and the teacher asked Xiao Ming to call his parents, and he was very scared.
So, Xiao Ming hired an old man who played chess for 10 yuan.
The next day, the teacher saw that Xiao Ming had brought someone and asked, "Is this your father?" ”
Xiao Ming replied, "Yes, my father!" ”
The teacher then took the old man aside and asked, "Dad, you have such a big son outside, does my mother know?" ”
11. Zhang San has felt that he is not biological since he was a child.
Once he was playing outside and accidentally fell into the manure pit, her mother saw it and said, "We don't want this child!" Let's go back and have another one. ”
Later, when he grew up, he had a high fever, and her mother touched his forehead with her hand.
He immediately retracted his hand and said, "It's so hot!" ”
His dad immediately slipped his big mouth and said, "Look at your mother's hot!" ”
Is this pro?