Love and marriage are difficult to be happy in the first place.
Unhappiness is the norm.
The funny thing is that the original "marital happiness" is a grand wish, but people regard it as a basic requirement, and this seriously unreasonable requirement only exacerbates the unhappiness of the marriage.
In this sense, it is as ironic for a person to feel a failure because of an unhappy marriage as it is to feel a failure because he has not earned a small goal.
I was blindfolded, and someone next to me told me that he was happily married.
I can draw an unmistakable conclusion:
The person is either lying or has not been married for long.
In marriage, a person's strengths will always be taken for granted or even ignored, but a person's shortcomings will be repeatedly mentioned or even infinitely magnified.
Love, like keys, headphones, glasses, etc., is very easy to lose.
A couple of newcomers, after being sent into the cave house by relatives and friends, love was lost.
The couple, in the days to come, have been looking for love, rummaging through boxes and cabinets, turning the house upside down, but they have not found it.
Later, it was found outside of marriage.
Marriage is like a green train to a distant place, and people who live a little more comfortably are like buying a sleeper; People who are not happy or unhappy are like buying a hard seat.
And those who feel unhappy in their marriage are like buying a station ticket.
When I was young, I bought a station ticket from Guizhou to Shandong and stood for two days and two nights, so I also met a girl who also bought a station ticket, and she told me that it was the most painful day of her life.
Until some time ago, she told me that she was wrong - to get married.
We call people who pass by on the street strangers, but anyone who has ever been married knows that at some point in a marriage, you look at the person in front of you and see how strange he is.
It's so strange that you are surprised to find that the gap between people is so big, even bigger than the gap across species.
If you don't know how different people are, then I suggest you get married.
When you get married, after a long time, you will find that the person who gets along with you day and night and shares the same bed is so different from you, living habits, value orientation, aesthetic habits, and interests are all so different, so different that you suspect that you are not the same species.
A friend of mine told me that she loved her husband very much, and that her husband loved her very much, but they eventually divorced.
I laughed. In marriage, the most important thing is not whether you love or not, whether you have money or not, whether the three views are compatible, not whether you are evenly matched, the most important thing in marriage is communication.
"Communication" means that two people in a marriage need to remind themselves at all times that they are likely to be wrong - but it is easier for you to get a person to admit from the bottom of your heart that he is wrong than to let him admit that he is not human - especially in a marriage.
Most people's marriages, like self-built houses in the countryside, look elegant on the outside, but they may not be renovated on the inside, and they are full of all kinds of sundries.
Many people buy a house and get married, the purpose is to have a home, but when he has this home, he seems to have no home from now on, to give a simple example, it is obviously a wedding house bought for hundreds of thousands of millions, after getting married, he gradually found that only when he was sitting on the toilet for a moment, he would feel that he was himself, this time, and this place belonged to him completely.
A man becomes a family, and from then on he is a homeless person.
If you look closely, you'll see that weddings have a lot of similarities to funerals:
Relatives and friends will gather, and some people will cry, and they will all say to the person concerned, "I will be good in the future", and they all hope that the protagonist of the ceremony will go to a place higher than the world, such as "temple" and "heaven".
Although weddings and funerals are both farewell ceremonies, the difference is that funerals generally have only one person leaving everyone, while weddings are two people who were originally alive and kicking around and begin to go out of their bodies and become walking dead, and gradually say goodbye to friends of the opposite sex, friends of the same sex, and their true selves.
A person is single, and people care about him;
When a person falls out of love, people comfort him;
A man is divorced, and people encourage him.
But no one cares about those who are married, and they are often the ones who need the most care.
A young man in his early twenties, who is ready to work hard and then buy a house and get married, sounds a lot like my grandparents, who used their life savings to make two coffins when they were fifty or sixty years old, and built two graves when they were seventy or eighty years old.
When a couple is about to divorce because of emotional discord, his relatives and friends will jump out to persuade him not to leave, and if you listen carefully to their statements, you will find that they are not speaking for "people", but for "marriage".
Originally, marriage was for people, but in their unconscious, people seemed to be at the service of marriage.
In fact, you don't have to be pessimistic, there are still benefits to getting married.
The biggest advantage of getting married is that you can blame another person for the failure of your life.
You can go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to observe that those who are preparing to get a marriage certificate look tired, while those who are preparing to get a divorce certificate look relaxed.