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no.1、
Once the boss was away, I accidentally broke the purple clay pot on his table. I hurriedly ran out and bought an identical one for more than three hundred dollars.
When chatting today, the boss pointed to the pot and said, "The quality of this stall for dozens of yuan is not tolerable." ”
When I heard this, I was instantly ashamed!
no.2、
Today, I saw my wife's clumsy appearance of killing fish and wanted to tease her, so I said, "What do you have to do with pigs?" ”
Who knew that she turned her head and replied: "Husband and wife relationship!" ”
no.3、
When I went to work with my husband, I met an aunt on the way, and my husband greeted me warmly, and then I asked, "Who is she?" ”
The husband replied, "Our cafeteria aunt! ”
I teased, "Seeing that you greeted you so warmly, I thought you were financial!" ”
My husband said, "Are you realistic?" Can the cafeteria aunt give you more food, can the financial girl send you more money? ”
One word, absolutely! 」
no.4、
After the family finished eating, they were all watching TV in the hall, and suddenly there was a kissing scene on the TV, and I asked my son to pour a glass of water.
After a while, I didn't expect the hero and heroine to kiss again, I thought that my son was still young, so I asked my son to pour water for me.
The son pouted and asked, "Dad, do you get thirsty when you see someone kissing your mouth?" “
At that time, I was embarrassed in front of my family.
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
no.5、
My wife loves meat and is worried that she will gain weight, so she asked me worriedly this day: "Husband, if I continue to eat like this, do you think I will become like a pig?" ”
I smiled and comforted my wife, "How is it possible, no matter how fat you are, you only have two legs!" ”
My wife pounded my little chest with a small fist when she heard it!
no.6、
My husband finally came to my office once, and I wanted to show a little affection in front of everyone. He poured coffee and handed him a towel to wipe his sweat. My husband pinched the towel and looked up and asked me painfully, "Wife, have you done something sorry for me?" ”
Haha, it seems that I haven't been so good to my husband for a long time, and he is a little suspicious.
no.7、
My girlfriends are almost 30 years old and haven't gotten married yet, and I have two children, the older one is in kindergarten.
One day I asked her, "When are you going to get married?" ”
The girlfriend said, "Well, it should be soon." ”
I said, "What should be soon, you have to hurry, when you are old, you will not even have bridesmaids!" ”
My best friend actually replied: "What's there to worry about this, it's a big deal that I'll rent a few bridesmaids then!" ”
I smiled and said, "You are really a talent, the first in the past and the present!" ”
My best friend despised me and said, "Then you are lagging behind, people now rent bridesmaids have companies, watch the news more, I feel that you have become a housewife since you have become a housewife." ”
no.8、
High school troubles. I have had a crush on my classmate for almost a year, and once she was punished by the teacher for running laps in the playground, but suddenly it rained, so I immediately ran to her with an umbrella and moved the umbrella above her head.
Unexpectedly, the goddess came to say at that time: "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend......I'm afraid he'll misunderstand! ”
I was really sad, sad, and embarrassed, so I jokingly said to her: "Who said that I came to make an umbrella for you, I saw that I have used this umbrella for a long time, and I am going to sell it to you, and it just so happens that you can use ...... too.""I made a grimace after that!
The two of them looked at each other and laughed, and after my stalking, she still didn't choose me after all.
no.9、
After the holiday to play games at home, my mother came in to clean up the room, and saw that it was too messy, so she said while cleaning up: "This house makes you so messy, like a pigsty ......."“
Without looking up, I said, "What do you know?" This is called the ...... of heroes out of chaos“
Mom laughed and said, "Hero? You've been in the house all winter, and you're a hibernating bear! “
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
no.10、
Eating in a restaurant, I suddenly felt a stomachache, so I hurriedly went to the toilet to squat, squatted in the toilet and suddenly felt nothing, I lifted my pants and left, just walked out of the toilet door and heard someone inside: "* A big man squatting and peeing." ”
At that time, I wanted to rush in and say: "Lao Tzu is happy, I want you to take care of it!" "Think about it, forget it, it's important to eat.
---end--- This article is a plain text funny paragraph, only for entertainment, if there is bad guidance, please understand!
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