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no.1、
The Chinese New Year is coming soon, how many of the following phenomena have you seen in rural areas?
1. I usually smoke more than a dozen cigarettes, and the grade must be improved during the Chinese New Year, at least starting at 20;
2. Mahjong is getting bigger and bigger;
3. More and more New Year's money is given to children, and if you give less, you are afraid of losing face;
4. The monthly salary is obviously a few thousand yuan, but it is not to say that it is a monthly salary of tens of thousands, but also boasting that the future is bright;
5. In order to talk about the noodles, buy all kinds of fireworks and put them side by side;
6. The village organizes activities and swaggers contributions.
Afterwards, I sighed: In this year, I am anxious to see others making money, and I am more anxious to see others spending money, I have worked hard for a year, and I have been pretending to be a grandson for a few days, and I am a grandson in the village!
no.2、
Traveler: "Beautiful stewardess, please put my suitcase in the luggage rack." ”
Flight Attendant: "I'm sorry, sir! I can't hold it alone, so let's carry it together, okay? ”
Passenger: "Aren't you flight attendants angels?" Is there anything that angels can't hold? ”
Flight attendant: "Sir, the customer is God, and God can't put it on, so we angels can't do anything about it." ”
no.3、
After the death of his wife for many years, my grandmother took her little grandson to visit the grave, burning paper money, ingots, US dollars, and cars at the grave.
Suddenly, the little grandson asked, "Grandma, why don't you burn a mobile phone for grandpa?" ”
Grandma: "Aren't you scared when he hits you at night?" ”
Little grandson: "That'......."That's ......That's it......”
no.4、
One day, just after the meeting, the director, the deputy director and several entourages walked into the same elevator with a smile, at this time the director really couldn't help it, let out a loud fart, the elevator suddenly quieted a lot, the director was casual: "Hehe." ”
The deputy director hurriedly responded: "Director, it's not me." ”
The elevator was quieter, and then a young attendant: "Director, I'm sorry, it's me!" ”
The elevator was bustling again. It didn't take long to hear that the young entourage had become the deputy director, and the original deputy director had become an inspector in advance, and the director explained: "I don't dare to take on anything big, what else can I do!" ”
no.5、
When a colleague of ours went to take the driver's license test, he was very nervous and said a classic sentence to the examiner: "Report the meter, the examiner is normal!" ”
The examiner asked curiously: What?
The colleague said more nervously: "The report is normal, and the examiner looks ......."”
Frightened, the examiner hurriedly checked the lower half of the body.
no.6、
Once, the Chinese teacher left a semi-open essay question, "I admire my mother's ...... the most."》
As a result, when commenting, the teacher said helplessly: "I know that you think that writing what I admire most about my mother's diligence and hard work is a bit overwritten, and I want to bring forth the new, but in any case, I can't write "I admire my mother's son the most"!" ”
no.7、
The wife asked her husband in a snort: "Do you like my tenderness like water, or are you obsessed with my ** body?" ”
The husband was embarrassed for a while, and then replied, "Don't make a fuss, I like your sense of humor!" ”
no.8、
My husband took me on a motorcycle, and I grabbed his clothes. As he walked, he looked down at my hand and said, "Put it in my pocket." ”
I said sneeringly, "Yo, do you know that you feel sorry for me and are afraid that I will be cold?" ”
The heartless husband replied, "I have a cigarette in my pocket, and I'm afraid of it." “
no.9、
A: "Scorpion and crab guess boxing, guess for a day or still win or lose!" ”
B: "Why?" ”
A: "It's so frustrating, they keep putting out scissors." ”
no.10、
Yesterday I taught my son: "Time is the knife that pierces lies, but the biggest enemy of life is not lies, but precisely time." ”
The son asked thoughtfully: "Isn't it just melon seeds?" ”
---end--- This article is a plain text funny paragraph, only for entertainment, if there is bad guidance, please understand!
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