Someone said, "When a parent dies, siblings stop interacting." ”There's a lot to say about siblings, and I really don't know who to listen to. Especially after the relationship deteriorates, there will be thoughts of breaking off relations immediately, rather than thinking about repairing them.It has been said, "When a parent dies, siblings are the best relatives." ”
There are a few proverbs: "Eat seven minutes full; Boil porridge for seven points.
Many things in the world must be "opened" and taboo to go to extremes. The same is true for dealing with sibling relationships.
Three points of communication, seven points of generosity.
Famous ministers of the late Qing DynastyZeng Guofan, exterminated the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, and made great contributions. theYounger brother Zeng GuoquanFollowing Zeng Guofan, he also made great contributions.
On the road of life development, Zeng Guofan insisted on being a humble man, but Zeng Guoquan became arrogant. The gap between the brothers is getting bigger and bigger. As the boss, Zeng Guofan tried to persuade his younger brother to change himself.
In a letter to his family, Zeng Guofan said: "The letter I received from my brother on the ninth night of the first month was full of arrogance and many paradoxes. My brother has single-handedly covered the sky and arrogant nonsense for this, I don't know what the result is? ”It can be seen that Zeng Guofan is very dissatisfied with what his younger brother has done, and he understands that "the family is defeated because of a luxury word, and the person is defeated because of an arrogant word".
In his usual letters, Zeng Guofan not only had requirements for his younger brother, but also made suggestions to his nephews and nieces.
Criticism is criticism, brothers and sisters get along, and they have to help. It is a skill to make suggestions, and it is a great ability to pull everyone to change together.
In order to help his younger brother become a talent, Zeng Guofan went through great pains.
In an exchange, Zeng Guofan talked about his four lessons: the examination of Xiucai was unfavorable, and the defeat of Jiujiang was defeated. Use your own lessons to guide your younger brother, and the value of being a man is "perseverance".
When a family encounters a major event, they must sit together to communicate and form a consistent opinion. If, after communication, everyone's opinions are still different, there will be contradictions, and even a big fight will arise.
As the saying goes: "If the three views do not agree, there is no need to be strong." ”Siblings are siblings, but there are also problems with different views. Therefore, smart people should enlarge their minds and tolerate every bit of the family.
"Caigen Tan" said: "Where the taste is strong, subtract three points for people to taste." ”
When the noise is at its worst, give three points to the other party to win. It doesn't matter if you lose. Think like this, bow your head in front of your family, it's not a shame, and then you can look up in front of outsiders.
Three points of love, seven points of distance.
There are two sayings in the countryside: "Acquaintances do not exceed the rules; Sisters do not interact. ”The relationship between blood and water will certainly be very intimate. When I was a child, we all ate at the same table and listened to our parents' nagging together. When they encounter strange things, they will also share them with each other.
For example, if you see a group of ants on the road, you can drag everyone to watch it.
When we grow up and have different little families, the way we love each other will change. used to love his parents and siblings very simply, but later he had to share part of his emotions with his lover and his children, and he also had to care for his friends.
The law of hedgehogs tells us that if a group of hedgehogs are close together to keep warm, they will hurt each other. Keep your distance and you'll be comfortable with each other.
Some people reverse the proportion of "love", causing small families to jump and their own efforts are still thankless.
For a period of time, the news that "my parents passed away, my sister raised my younger brother for 18 years, took 5,000 yuan, and let my younger brother go home" attracted a lot of attention.
My sister has been in Shanghai for many years, taking her younger brother who is missing her left hand with her and raising **.
After working hard for many years, my sister didn't get love, and her work was not good enough, because her younger brother was like a "burden" who trapped her. Moreover, the younger brother needs to be independent, and he can't rely on anyone for the rest of his life.
After careful consideration, the elder sister asked the younger brother to return to his hometown to develop. It seems to be "heartless", but it is actually understandable.
Since ancient times, distance has been beautiful. Even if husband and wife get along, they have to pay attention to "small farewells are newlyweds", and they need freedom in making friends and work, and they can't always leave their mother-in-law.
As brothers and sisters, you should follow the law of "the tree is divided, the family is divided", and once you become an adult, you should find a way to be independent. Once you have a family, you should move out of your extended family.
Brothers and sisters were originally a family, but later they became relatives; If you run a family business, it's a partnership relationship. When siblings have children, they are called "aunts and uncles", which is different from their parents.
Love without distance is like an impenetrable wall, blocking the pace of progress. Knocking down the wall, it is the road.
Three points of total wealth, seven points of private wealth.
Brothers do not share wealth, but share wealth and cut off exchanges", the teaching of the ancients is not unreasonable.
Everyone has selfishness, and if there is no selfishness, there is no way to live a life. Even if you are a good person, at least you must ensure that you have food to eat and be able to earn money to support your family.
I can't eat enough, and I have to drag a group of people home to eat, which is obviously impossible. If you have a family, you have to invite guests to dinner, and you have to ask your lover if she agrees.
In a mediation show in 2014, his wife Zhao Li (pseudonym) tried her best to give the house to her younger brother Zhao Tai (pseudonym), and she hid everything she had done from her husband Li Fei (pseudonym).
After Zhao Li's behavior was discovered by her husband, the relationship between the husband and wife fell to the freezing point. What's even more excessive is that the younger brother stood up and accused his brother-in-law of all kinds of wrongdoings.
Zhao Li said that her younger brother is about to face the big event of getting married, and as an older sister, she can't sit idly by. She didn't know that this love had turned sour, and it would only make her brother feel "taken for granted" and her husband would chill.
It is not surprising that siblings socialize, support their parents, exchange courtesies, borrow money and rice, and help physically. But if you pack all your money together, and you can't figure out whether you give or borrow, conflicts will grow.For small profits, we should let it, and for the big right and wrong, we should calculate it clearly, that is, we must be considerate, and there must be an explanation.
When people reach a certain age, money is the hardest hole card and the necessities of life. Everyone works hard because of money, and no one's money is blown by the wind. The distinction between public and private is clear, and there is a degree of courtesy, so that the relationship can be transparent.
I like this saying: "Although we can grow up with the protection of our parents and relatives, rely on the support of our brothers and friends, and be happy because of our lovers, we still have to rely on ourselves in the final analysis." ”Along the way in life, blood relationship is an inseparable relationship, and it is also the best fate.
Just like the Tang monks and apprentices, they overcame obstacles, obtained the true scriptures, and went to the good. But after getting the scriptures, it means that everyone has matured and started to separate.
A comfortable relationship is between gathering and dispersing. Get together and struggle, but don't expect to be "packed" all the time; After they disperse, they can be reunited.
Three points of communication, seven points of generosity, seeking common ground while reserving differences, and respecting the three views.
Three points of love, seven points of distance, love but not drowning, separation but not alienation.
Three points of total wealth, seven points of private wealth, everyone is prosperous, and the small family is prosperous.
For the rest of my life, I am willing to help each other, watch and help each other, live a comfortable life, and feel comfortable and free in my heart.