There is such a question on Zhihu: "In love, which is more important than sex and love?" One of the most praised responses was: "Love and sex are not as important as communication." "I think so. In a relationship, love and sex are important, but compared to communication and management, no amount of love will be consumed. Netizen @escapes wrote to me recently, he wrote helplessly: "My girlfriend hides everything in her heart, and she doesn't want to tell me, even if I quarrel with her, she will always choose to be silent, after a quarrel yesterday, she was silent as usual, but I made up my mind to leave." In fact, many couples have such questions, one does not say, one does not ask, one is cold, and the other uses silence to fight. They thought that they had endured each other's emotions, and in the end, their relationship seemed to have eased, but they didn't know that the dissatisfaction, resentment and grievances accumulated in their hearts would one day appear in a more turbulent and tragic way, and the feelings between the two people would become weaker and weaker. Nowadays, the lack of desire to share, lack of communication, cold violence, and lack of understanding of communication have become a dead proposition that many couples cannot bypass.
Men from Mars, women from Venus Mel and their book Why Men Don't Iron Their Clothes, says: "The brains of men and women are very different, especially the connections to the language parts of the brain. Women have a well-developed connection between the left and right brains, with the left brain dominating language and the right brain dominating space, while men have more connections inside the brain. "When a woman speaks, she can use both sides of her brain to extract many connections, including attention, emotion, vision, smell, etc., while when a man speaks, he can only use his right brain to exclude many other stimuli. Therefore, what we see in life is that there are always many different ways of thinking between men and women, and many couples have such troubles in communication: "I love him, he should know!" I think ta, they should know. But the fact is that the other party doesn't feel these "shoulds", and they don't know at all. Therefore, since you love each other, instead of letting each other guess and be silent in their own world, it is better to calm down and say what you really think. Change "you should know" to "I want you to know", replace "you should do it" with "I want you to do it", and let things return to the thing itself, not because it affects the feelings between each other.
Learn to empathize and think more from the other party's point of view Some time ago, Xi Mengyao, who was called numb by the whole network, said such a paragraph, I think it makes a lot of sense, she said: "Love must be like a car, you have to have annual inspections, you have to repair and inspect often, daily maintenance must be done every day, and it must be cut off at the source, that is, when there is a small crack, just make it up first, don't let it go bad." "A good relationship is not without contradictions and conflicts, but when contradictions and conflicts occur, both people must know how to communicate and resolve contradictions and conflicts together. When disagreements arise, what you need to do is not to fight coldly and quarrel, but to calm down, think more from the other party's point of view, and communicate with each other. If both parties do not communicate and are not good at communication, then no matter how good the relationship is, it will often decline in the end due to misunderstanding and misinterpretation. Just like many girls when they are angry, they either ignore each other in anger, or they want to say "I need you to care about me", but when the words come to their mouths, they become "Why do you only care about working overtime?" I wanted to say sorry first, but when the words came to my lips, it became "Are you at fault?" "This kind of direct non-communication, or bad communication, can only make two people drift apart.