Many young mothers return to work immediately after maternity leave, so they have to rely on their elders to care for their children.
At present, grandmothers and grandmothers have become the main force with babies, especially grandmothers. Young parents have mixed feelings about the elderly with their children, on the one hand they are grateful for their help, and on the other hand they are worried about their education style. For example, Xiao Li returned to the workplace after maternity leave and handed over the child to her mother-in-law to take care of.
Xiao Li often shows off his son's well-behaved to his colleagues, but he also regrets that he can't accompany him. Colleagues reassured that at least there was a mother-in-law to help, which was better than those who had to quit their jobs to take care of their children. However, Xiao Li later began to complain that her mother-in-law praised the child excessively, causing the child to ask for praise like a puppy when he returned home.
In recent years, parenting experts on the Internet have suggested praising children more to boost their self-confidence and empathy, causing many parents and elders to frequently praise their children as "you are awesome". However, this praise is not applicable in all cases, especially considering the age and stage of the child's development. For toddlers as young as one or two years old, such praise can motivate them; But when a child grows to three years old, a simple "you're awesome" may no longer be effective and may even have a negative impact.
First, praise your child frequently and casually"You're awesome", which may encourage the child's flattering behavior. For example, the neighbor's grandson has a busy job, and his son is mainly taken care of by his grandmother. I often hear Xiao Sun's mother-in-law praise her when her child shows a little achievement:"You're awesome"
In this environment, children develop the habit of presenting themselves in front of adults and expect recognition after each performance. If the expected praise is not received, the child will even trick or treat to get attention.
Praise your child frequently"You're awesome"It may cause them to rely too much on the approval of others, unable to accept criticism, and may pay too much attention to other people's opinions in the future, seek praise, and carry heavy pressure. Second, insincere praise makes the child feel perfunctory. Despite the patience of the elderly, it is also hard to take care of children, and sometimes the results made by children may only be casually praised"You're awesome"。
Children may be happy when they first hear a "you're awesome" compliment, but over time, frequent empty compliments can make the child realize that this is perfunctory, reducing interaction with the family. In addition, frequent and excessive praise can lead to jealousy, a belief that oneself is superior to others, and vanity.
When children are praised at school, they feel proud; Conversely, jealousy may arise. When complimenting your child, be specific and sincere, if your child learns to use chopsticks, you can praise him for his strong hands-on ability and mastery of new skills.
Of course, the elderly help with the children, and young parents should not be too harsh. After all, the original intention of the elderly is to reduce the burden on their children. The responsibility for children's education mainly lies with the parents, and the elderly only need to pay attention to the daily life of their children. The elderly should not be blamed solely on the child's growth problems, and parents should pay more attention and put more effort into it.