When people are old and have nothing to do, they go to help their children take care of their grandchildren and grandchildren, enjoy the joy of family, and also free up time for their children to start a business and get rich.
There are also some elderly people who are dragged by their children to help take care of the baby, and if they don't go, their daughters-in-law and sons-in-law will gossip.
No matter what the reason is, if the elderly want to take the baby, they must do their part and not cause family conflicts. After all, when people get too close to each other, there are many things about chickens flying and dogs jumping.
The key is to keep your mouth in check, speak appropriately, don't be too nagging, and don't be dumb. Adhere to the "three questions, three don't ask", in the best cultivation.
Three questions to strengthen communication.
Some old people, in front of their children, become cautious and dare not say anything.
The old man pondered and made some kind of decision, and his children disliked it in every way, which was simply "thankless".
In fact, my children are very busy with work, and I thought about many things, but I didn't say them in time.
The asymmetry of information between the two aspects often leads to misunderstandings between parents and children. Therefore, parents should learn to "ask", promote the exchange of information, and let the family have laughter.
Ask about your child's academic schedules.
When the child reaches what age, he will start reading. How to arrange?Do you continue to ask the elderly to pick them up, or can the elderly go back to their hometown?
There are also many children who learn art from the age of two or three, and strive not to lose at the starting line. The elderly should grasp the dynamics according to the situation of education.
If the child wants to go to a certain place to study and also pick up and drop off, the elderly should figure out the route in advance to ensure that they are "familiar with the road", which also ensures safety.
Ask about the living arrangements for the weekends.
Many middle-aged people, when they go to work, leave their children to the elderly, and on weekends, they bring them themselves. It's conventional, but there are surprises. For example, if you receive an overtime assignment or a business trip.
On Friday, ask more questions to see how the children are arranged, and whether they are going to take over the children.
Ask about the arrangement of family meals.
When helping with the children, the elderly are often responsible for cooking.
Don't think that if the meal is ready, your children will be satisfied. Now that the standard of living is high, the habit of parents cooking is still stuck in the seventies and eighties of the last century, which will not work.
It is more popular to allow children to give recipes and make meals according to the nutrients that children need.
In addition, the elderly should also make suggestions, if the children have entertainment outside, tell the elderly at home in time, adjust the amount of meals, and avoid excessive and wasteful meals.
Zi said: "Sensitive and studious, not ashamed to ask." ”In the process of growing old, we should be humble and studious, and ask one more why? People are old and have a lot of wisdom, but for the management of the family, we still have to be ashamed to ask. At this time, children are often their own teachers.
When questioning, pay attention to your tone, don't open your mouth, don't be angry. It's the child's answer, if you don't get satisfied, don't quarrel, just talk slowly, just ask for common ground while reserving differences.
Three do not ask, learn to respect.
When people are old, anywhere, the most taboo is to "break the casserole and ask to the end".
It's not everything, you have to figure it out, it's better to know a little bit about it. If the other party is willing to tell you something, don't ask you, the other party will also bring it up.
Someone said, "Not all fish are in the same sea." ”When your children grow up, they live in the same place as you, but your children's lives will not overlap with your lives, and their three views will not be the same.
Especially the daughter-in-law and son-in-law, who are not related to you by blood, but still have to get along well and treat them as their own. If you show respect to them, you will be treated well when you are old.
Shut up when you should shut up, not indifference, but the pattern of being a person, and the sincerity of treating others.
Don't ask about the contradictions of the young couple, "emotional freedom".
When the elderly are at their children's homes, they will inevitably see their children and their lovers making noise.
Many elderly people are accustomed to "caring for their calves", and in any case, it is best for their children. It's instinct, but we have to refrain from it.
It is necessary to understand that "it is difficult for a clean official to decide family affairs", and the elderly are actually "guests" in their children's homes, so don't do it back.
Unless children and lovers do it, the elderly will remain a bystander.
We have to believe that "small couples, bedside quarrels, bedside and". After hearing the noise, you will hear the frolic, which is the result of inaction.
Don't ask about the right or wrong of the quarrel between children, "just innocence".
When you go out with your children, you will deal with other children, and you will also meet other children's parents, grandparents, and grandparents.
It is very common for children to have playmates and make trouble. You just have to pull the child away, and don't ask the child "why is this". It's an inexplicable question.
Don't judge your child for right or wrong.
In fact, many children, after a few quarrels today, will walk hand in hand tomorrow. The old man is too serious, but it adds contradictions between adults.
The fall out in my childhood, at most, "I won't play with you anymore", generally doesn't hurt my bones.
If you encounter a very savage child, then stay away and don't provoke it.
Don't ask about the bad things in the neighborhood, "it has nothing to do with yourself".
There are always some old people who have brought the customs of the countryside to the city.
Neighbors visit each other and meet to chat in the community.
Originally, it was a good thing for neighbors to socialize, but when the old man asked some bad things, he would be very annoyed.
For example, if the neighbor quarrels, don't ask, let alone suggest a divorce; The girl in the neighborhood is in her thirties and is not married, don't ask why.
Especially for some neighbors who are not very familiar with each other, asking a few more words will cause others to be disgusted. There is still a difference between people in the city and in the countryside.
Remember, whatever can be said, be able to speak clearly; Whatever cannot be discussed, it should be kept silent.
Taking the initiative to shut up reflects self-cultivation and a retreating attitude, and he also has room for maneuver.
Helping to take care of children is not as simple as staring at children, but also involves the creation of family atmosphere and interpersonal communication.
Any family member wants their children to grow up well, but we must use the right methods, pay attention to the image, and teaching by example is more important than preaching.
Staying with the elderly and children is actually an invisible way of education, don't nag, scold and scold others, relax, accept the bad of others, and see the good of others.
All in all, be a person of integrity and do the right thing.