Someone said: "You are not RMB, it is impossible for everyone to like it." ”
In fact, even if you are RMB, there will be people who don't like you.
There is a story in "The World Speaks New Words".
Wang Yifu, the minister of the Western Jin Dynasty, was very upright and never talked to people about money.
One day, while he was asleep, his wife arranged for her servants to lay coins around the bed.
When Wang Yifu woke up, he shouted: "Lift a block." Anyway, it bypassed the word "money".
Straight to the point. Money does solve a lot of problems, including dealing with relationships.
If you meet someone you don't like, don't be in a hurry to turn around, just borrow money from him。How the relationship will develop depends on the situation after borrowing money, and it is clear.
People who agree to borrow money can continue to socialize.
In psychology, there is an effect called the "Franklin effect."
When Franklin was secretary of the state legislature, one of the congressmen was unkind to him.
How to improve the relationship, Franklin thought about it seriously and observed the other party's situation. I found that there were many precious books in the house of this councilor.
One day, Franklin wrote to borrow a book from the congressman, complimenting him a few words in passing.
The book was borrowed, and then when the book was returned, it was left with a letter to express friendship.
After that, in Parliament, Franklin's relationship with the lawmakers was much better.
This experience, summed up, is - "Those who have helped you in the past will be more willing to help you again than those who have been helped by you." ”
Similarly, if you borrow money from someone and the other party is willing to lend you money, it means that your previous relationship with him is an "illusion", and there is room for redemption.
When dealing with people, they often cause a lot of misunderstandings because of "first impressions and one-sided words", so that they don't like each other.
By borrowing money, you have tested the true attitude of the other party, and it also reflects your "subjective initiative", that is, the opportunity to "shake hands and make peace" has come.
Zeng Guofan, the minister of the late Qing Dynasty, also borrowed money a lot, not every time because of lack of money, but because he wanted to test people's hearts.
During the reign of Daoguang, he wrote in Note I: "Sun and others have no other livelihood in Beijing, and they have to borrow money at about the beginning of winter. ”
He also wrote to his younger brother at home: "Even if the family has money, you can try to borrow money from neighbors, relatives and friends." ”
It is very obvious that Zeng Guofan has a thorough understanding of human feelings.
Through the person who borrows money, several things can be facilitated.
First, people who are willing to borrow money are reliable people, and in their hearts, they can continue to communicate.
Second, when borrowing and repaying money, you can catch up on the old and open each other's hearts, so as to completely change the feeling of "dislike".
Third, you take the initiative to borrow money and repay it in time, which reflects your character and lets the other party know that you are very reputable, thus changing the other party's attitude towards you.
Money can be a bargaining chip for the exchange of interests, or a witness of human affection.
Those who refuse to borrow money will be cut off in time.
During the Warring States period, Zhuangzi was a philosopher, but his family was poor.
For a while, he didn't have any rice to cook at home, so he went to Jianhe Hou to borrow grain.
Jian Hehou said: "Okay, after a few months, my family will collect the rent and lend you 300 gold." ”
Zhuangzi said, "When the fish leaves the water, they have to wait to get water from a distant river." Then forget it, the fish is willing to be dried fish. ”
After saying that, Zhuangzi ignored the supervisor Hehou.
People say, "Borrowing from urgency is not borrowing from poverty." ”
If you encounter an emergency and the other party refuses to lend you money, it is a statement - from now on, it will be cut in two.
When you meet someone you don't like, you borrow money from him, and then he is rejected, then he is embarrassed to see you in the future, or deliberately hates you even more; As for you, it is logical to break off relations with the other party.
Zhang Ailing once said: "There are many ways to destroy love, but the uprooted storm is to borrow money." ”Whether it is love, family, friendship, classmate, or the same thing, as long as it is because of borrowing money and causing a turmoil, it is the beginning of emotional collapse.
Usually, when we meet someone we don't like, we want to break off relations, sorry; directly refuted him a few words, and was afraid of offending people and hurting each other; You endure everything, and you still associate with him, and it is not your intention. The dilemma is uncomfortable.
By borrowing money, the relationship is completely cleared, that is, "out of sight is clean", ruthless and light.
Mo Yan said: "We came to this world in the dust, not to live for people we don't like." ”In order to determine who you don't like, it's really not worth associating; In order to keep people you don't like completely away from yourself, you have to use small tricks.
Flipping faces will also keep you at arm's length, but it's too cruel and can hurt a good Samaritan by mistake. More likely, turning each other's faces on each other will entangle and bring endless harm.
The way to borrow money is to give the choice to the other party, and it will not directly tear your face. From a social point of view, you can be regarded as respecting the other party once before breaking off the relationship.
Teacher Dong Yuhui said: "Others don't like you, what you have to do is to enrich yourself and enrich yourself, and then meet a soul similar to it." ”Leaving the person you don't like, you have the opportunity to meet the person who likes you and join the circle of people who get along well.
In social networking, everyone has a standard for judging people, so there is a misunderstanding of judgment, which will further bring contradictions, and take a step back and feel that you have lost something.
Before the relationship judgment, the act of "borrowing money" strengthens one's judgment on the development of the relationship.
Of course, you have to find a reason to borrow money, and you also have to pay attention to the amount. If you open your mouth and others don't have that much money at all, then you can only refuse, causing you to misjudge favors.
It is recommended that you open your mouth to borrow money, three or five hundred is enough, and the repayment should be timely; When you encounter someone who refuses to borrow money, don't be annoyed, but turn around with a smile.
The thinker Rousseau said, "The money in our hands is a tool to remain free." ”It goes without saying that money is also a tool to maintain or lose relationships, depending on how you use it.
In fact, people who really don't like you are like dirt on your shoes, you just need to get rid of it.