Life has been rushing for decades, and the most important thing is to be yourself and not always please others.
At a certain age, there will always be achievements. As a result, some people pretend to be generous, thinking that taking a handle in everything and giving others a little benefit is to accumulate virtue and happiness.
In fact, there are always some things that are thankless, and if you help too much, you will harm others and yourself.
For the rest of your life, no matter how capable you are, in the following four aspects, please put away your generosity, so that life will not be so passive.
No matter how much you deposit, you need to be cautious when it comes to borrowing money.
The philosopher Zhuangzi has always been very depressed. One day, the family couldn't open the pot, so he went to the prison to borrow food.
The Marquis of Jianhe said, "Okay, when I go to the fiefdom and collect the rent, I will lend you three hundred gold." ”
Zhuangzi left indignantly.
Throughout the ages, the Marquis of Jianhe was not close to people, which caused everyone's dissatisfaction.
However, did the Marquis of Jian Hehou do something wrong?
There is a saying that borrowing money is love, and not borrowing is duty.
When many people borrow money, they are very reasonable, thinking that they can "borrow chickens and lay eggs", and they can repay it twice in the future; He also patted his chest and said, don't worry, I will pay back the money when the time comes.
In fact, there are always some people, for various reasons, who can't pay back and still talk coolly. If this were not the case, there would be no old men in society.
When you are rich, don't show off, pretend to be poor; When you meet someone who borrows money, you should be good at making excuses and making the other party retreat. When you have to borrow money, you must talk about the rules, set up words as a basis, and don't leave a confused account.
People are mixed in society, and it is indispensable to cooperate with others, but borrowing money needs to be stingy, whose money is earned by labor, and if it goes into other people's pockets for no reason, you will lose yourself and ask for trouble.
No matter how high the status is, in terms of helping people, it depends on the character.
Internet writer Xi Yanfei wrote such a sentence: "I have no education, no diploma, and no connections, where do you let me find an ordinary job?" ”The reality is that if you want to mix well, you have to be the same. If you can't rely on yourself, you have to find connections.
The network resources that a person has have a lot to do with their status.
For example, in a unit, the network resources of the top leader are not limited to his own unit, but can also shake hands with brother units; Ordinary employees, colleagues and close customers as the first pulse.
When you have a high status, there will be more people looking for you, relatives and friends will also give you face, and there will always be people who come to visit. Even if you post a circle of friends, there will be many likes.
The ancients said: "Living with the wicked is like entering the abalone, and if you don't smell it for a long time, you will also dissolve with it." ”
The people who are really worth dating are the ones with the sunshine. If you mix with people of poor character, you will be assimilated and calculated by them, and your help will be worthless.There is a saying that if the character is not good, everything is busy; If you don't look at people, you are doing you a disservice.
For example, during the Song Dynasty, Kou Zhun was the prime minister and helped Ding Wei say a lot of good things. Later, Ding Wei became a celebrity around the emperor, and led the tragedy of Song Zhenzong to Kou Zhun, resulting in Kou Zhun and related ministers being all eliminated.
In life, no matter how high your status is, don't "lift a stone and shoot yourself in the foot". Your position is high, work for the welfare of the masses, and don't leave room for villains.
No matter how good your health is, when it comes to drinking, your subordinates will be merciful.
We often hear the phrase: "Be courteous and generous to your guests." ”At the dinner, everyone is a guest, so be generous, don't twist and pinch, and sweep everyone's interest.
There is a saying that there is no banquet without wine.
Many people will drink hard to show their sincerity at dinner. By drinking, you can also reflect the quality of your interpersonal relationships and show your physical fitness.
In my hometown, there is such a saying"The wine you drink is carried by your body. ”
If you are very generous when it comes to drinking, you will inevitably get drunk and hurt your body. People in the workplace, if they drink, will make mistakes.
A singer once said, "Just because you can't drink or smoke doesn't mean you're outdated, and it's easy to tell someone 'I won't'." ”Seven points of drunkenness when drinking, seven points of fullness for eating, such a rule, I don't care at any time. When someone tries to persuade you to drink, you decisively refuse, although you are stingy, but you protect yourself.
You know, someone who is really good to you won't let you get drunk. It's wise to drink stingy.
No matter how good the marriage is, emotionally, with selfishness.
Not everything can be shared.
Love mentor Tu Lei said: "People can be atmospheric, but they should know how to protect their own rights and interests." ”When a person's interests are taken away by others, being polite will inevitably make some ill-intentioned people take advantage of loopholes and even be aggressive.
In the magazine "Philosophy", the author Xian Ge Yayi wrote such a story: Sister Meizi, who was in the same office as her, divorced because her husband betrayed the family.
After Sister Meizi's husband divorced, she quickly entered the palace of marriage. Because he was from the same unit, everyone was invited to the wedding banquet.
In front of Sister Meizi, everyone said that they would not drink the wedding wine.
In the world of feelings, the eyes of the masses are watching. If you keep it in the dark, you're truly an "outsider".
No matter how good the marriage is or how strong the relationship between husband and wife is, it is necessary to prevent the other party from changing their minds. Trust is the foundation of marriage, but too much trust will turn the other person into a moth.
Falling in love can only be a matter of two people, not one more. Your generosity is worthless.
After a long time and a lot of experience, you will understand that most of the time, people have to rely on themselves.
You have the ability, but you have to sweat and put a lot of effort into it.
Don't give your "skills" to others easily, and don't try to please everyone.
Be an upright person, don't do bad things, and refuse others, so what's the matter?
In the second half of your life, you must choose friends to make friends and neighbors to get along with - you treat me with a heart, and I am true to you; If not, they have nothing to do with each other.