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Hello everyone: Welcome to the 100% funny joke collection to make you (high) laugh for a day!
no.1、
When she returned to her hometown with her girlfriend, her little nephew looked at her with disdain: "Big fat girl, report your height, weight, age, and income!" ”
Girlfriend: "Okay, you little black egg, don't you know it's rude to ask girls these intimate questions?" ”
Little nephew: "You also know that it's rude, then you still ask me about my grades!" ”
My girlfriend is in a hurry, what's wrong! ”
Little nephew: "Outside the word, what's the matter!" ”
Then they scuffled, why do I think these two are more like a family!
no.2、
After a holiday, I came to the office early in the morning and found two 100 yuan yuan and a note on the table with the words "Come on" and the signature was the leader's.
I was so moved that I almost burst into tears, thinking that the leader is really considerate.
As a result, when he received the leader** in the afternoon, he was furious: "I asked you to help me refuel in the morning, why didn't you go?" ”
no.3、
When I was in elementary school, I was not good at math, but I was okay in other subjects! I haven't been able to find the reason!
Once I scored 58 points in the math test, and when I got home, my father took a look, silently lit a cigarette, shook his head and said, "Don't say more, work hard next time, it's still bad."3 pointsThat's it! ”
At that moment, I think I already knew why....
no.4、
Two days ago, the uncle drank too much and beat Uncle Li, who was drinking at the adjacent table.
Uncle Li's son came to the door, and the cousin apologized and lost money, and the matter was settled.
Afterwards, the cousin complained to the uncle, and the uncle was impatient: "Stinky boy, you fought when you were a child, didn't Lao Tzu come forward to calm things down?" ”
The cousin looked aggrieved: "I was beaten when I was a child, and they paid you money!" ”
no.5、
Lying in bed at night, I asked my daughter-in-law: "Should a man focus on his career or his family?" ”
My daughter-in-law was silent, and then I remembered the classic line: "I can't hold you when I carry bricks, and I won't have the hands to move bricks when I hold you." ”
Then the daughter-in-law came and said, "You can carry me to move bricks!" ”
Is this a daughter-in-law? ）
no.6、
I had a fight with my boyfriend, and the more I thought about it at night, the more sad I became, and I couldn't help crying. Erha, who was sleeping next to the bed and rubbing the air conditioner, was woken up by me, he looked at me in confusion, and then came over to ...... with a small towel
My heart suddenly warmed, if only my boyfriend had such a considerate Erha.
Unexpectedly, Erha actually plugged the towel into my mouth!
It's not complaining to me for waking it up, is it?
no.7、
The New Year's invitation dinner, uncles, aunts, grandparents sat at a big table!
The third grandmother couldn't get up in bed because she lived far away, her memory was not good, and she couldn't get up in bed, so she got food and fed her!
After being busy for half an hour, I told the third grandmother that I was going back!
At this time, the third grandmother looked up at me and asked, "Who are you?" “
Me: "Qing'er! ”
She: ".FatI don't even recognize ......”
no.8、
Men and women meet. M: I used to see your **, but now I see you, it turns out that your ** is all P. Female: Who doesn't p now, I see you, it's the same.
M: I haven't sent you **, how can you say that I have also p?
Female:I said you looked like you had been struck by lightning.
no.9、
Today, a middle-aged woman came to the bureau to report the case, saying that she had been deceived of more than 1,000 yuan and asked to file a case, and her colleague told her that it would take 5,000 yuan to file a case, and then she left without saying anything.
After a while, she hurriedly ran back again, and said to my colleague, "Comrade policeman, I just ran to transfer more than 3,000 to that **, and now there are 5,000, help me file a case!" The colleague was stunned.
no.10、
A little boy went to the obstetrics and gynecology clinic with his pregnant mother, and the mother covered her stomach and moaned from time to time, and the little boy asked in horror: "Mom, what's wrong with you?" ”
The mother explained, "Your brother kicked me, he is getting more and more naughty." ”
The boy said, "Why don't you swallow a toy and give it to your brother to play with?" ”
---end--- This article is a plain text funny paragraph, only for entertainment, if there is bad guidance, please understand!
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