The funny joke is coming:
Hello everyone: Welcome to the 100% funny joke collection to make you (high) laugh for a day!
no.1、
I went shopping for clothes with my colleague, tried on a dress, and felt that the size was too small, so I asked the salesperson for a bigger one.
The salesman looked at his colleague and said, "This number is very good."You can't indulge yourself anymore
no.2、
In the evening, there was a couple who obviously happened to be in my car, and the atmosphere was not active at all. At the red light, I saw in the rearview mirror that the little boy tried to put his hand on the girl's shoulder several times, but he retracted again. As soon as the green light came on, I stepped on the accelerator and the girl fell into the boy's arms.
Brother, that's all I can help with
no.3、
On Valentine's Day, I gave my girlfriend a penguin doll, and my girlfriend coquettishly told me: "One doll is not enough, people want you to send me."A dozen dolls!
I nodded in agreement, picked up my phone and called".Hey, the labor market, I need a wage earner.
no.4、
In the middle of the night, when my husband suddenly shouted, "Wife, run away." ”
As soon as I rolled over, I picked up the baby and ran downstairs. ran downstairs and came back to his senses, only to realize that he hadn't run out. I put down the child and hurried back to him, but he was fine, and he slept like a dead pig in bed. I lifted the quilt angrily and yelled in his ear: "Husband, **, run." After shouting a few times, he didn't even move...Sleep like a dead pig! Kindness?
no.5、
You: "How much do you earn a year?" “
Me: "960,000." “
You: "That's 80,000 a month!" “
Me: "Yes, that's my base salary. “
You: "Yes, what?" “
Me: "Dreaming ......."“
no.6、
My brother and sister-in-law are all short-tempered, and they fight at every turn. So I advised my brother: "Before you lose your temper next time, try to take a deep breath and then say ten times silently, 'Don't lose your temper and let the anger go away.'" ”
Last night, my sister-in-law was angry about a little thing again, and kept complaining, and my brother remembered my words, took a deep breath, and began to read silently in his mouth. Seeing this, the sister-in-law slapped it over and said, ".How dare you chant a spell to spell me!
no.7、
In one class, the teacher asked, "Who can make a sentence with 'the truth revealed'?" ”
Xiaohong was the first to raise her hand, and the teacher asked her to answer.
Xiaohong said: "My family has a dog named Dabai, and Dabai gave birth to a puppy named Xiaobai, and Xiaobai looks goodIt's like a big white
The teacher shook his head speechlessly.
no.8、
Last night, the proprietress called and asked me to go to KTV to entertain customers.
When I arrived, I saw her talking with an eldest sister, with a little white face sitting next to her, and a young girl sitting in a corner.
I thought to myself that the proprietress was so polite, so I sat down next to the girl, put my arm on her shoulder, and said, "Come, have a drink." ”
The girl turned to the proprietress and said, ".Auntie, why am I so ugly?
no.9、
On weekends, I'm alone at home with a single dog! I suddenly received a strange **. When I heard the voice, it was my mother, she said, let me go to the mall to pick her up, her mobile phone is out of battery, borrow someone else's mobile phone. And then just hung up**!
I hurried to the mall, and my mother said to me excitedly: "Quick, save the number just now, the little girl is so beautiful, I borrowed her mobile phone, I asked her,She's single too!
no.10、
The foreman was angry when he saw Mr. Baker smoking in the workshop.
The foreman said sternly, "Mr. Baker, you can't smoke while you're working." ”
Mr. Baker: ".Yes, so I don't work when I'm smoking.
---end--- This article is a plain text funny paragraph, only for entertainment, if there is bad guidance, please understand!
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