People are not plants and trees, who can be ruthless?
Some people like you, some people hate you, some people scold you, some people take advantage of you, and some people deliberately slander you, you can't grasp it.
The older generation persuaded us to be forgiving and forgiving. No matter who you are not used to, don't make a final decision, wait and endure.
Anyone can turn their faces, but if they turn the wrong face, it will be even more difficult to get their faces back.
There is a saying that changing others is a neurosis, and changing oneself is a god.
According to the actual situation, it is recommended that you, if you hate a person, don't be in a hurry to turn your face, and do these three things first.
First, it's better to stay away from it: if the three views don't match, there is no need to force it.
When you meet someone you hate, and you still insist on associating with him, then it will be very uncomfortable. After all, you're just making fun of yourself.
Don't speculate on more than half a sentence, since there is no common language, then keep quiet, no matter what the other party says, take it as the wind in your ears, and when the other party doesn't speak, you leave quietly.
As time passed, two people who were originally on different paths became familiar strangers. Whether the other party mixes well or badly, it has nothing to do with you.On Zhihu, some netizens said that his unit has a colleague who likes to see other people's jokes. Usually, the clothes he wears are ridiculed by his colleagues, and he insists on saying that they are "stalls"; When everyone didn't speak, colleagues took the initiative to stir up the topic, say some trivial things, and chat about some gossip.
Netizen "Xue Lian Yi Nian" suggested that anyone can meet anyone in the workplace, but you really don't have to torture your soul because the other party is very dirty. The iron-clad camp and the flowing soldiers, after a while, will naturally separate.
Society is big, and there are always some people who, for work, partying, traveling, etc., break into your world. Since they are not fellow travelers, they will definitely be separated. Just like chickens and ducks in the countryside, they will always get along on a certain road or in a certain cage, but they live separately and do not care about each other.
Keep your distance from both the heart and the space, then you won't be hurt by people you hate.
In "The Courage to Be Hated", it says, "No matter what happened in your previous life, it has no impact on how you will spend your life in the future." ”If you don't get entangled with anyone, you'll be able to calm down.
Understand that if you give someone an unpleasant attitude, they will retaliate with the same attitude. The root of "hate" is actually yourself. Keep your distance, and don't affect anyone.
Second, it is better to turn over than to turn around: move forward silently and do what you want to do.
There is a good saying: "Living is not to win sympathy by tears, but to win applause by sweat." ”When you show others their faces, you are actually embarrassed by your own faces; When you yell at others, it's actually your own mouth that's ugly. Really smart people hide their emotions and then do their best as if nothing happened.
A female friend of mine, when she graduated from university, was teaching at a local elementary school and met a male teacher at my school. After half a year together, they got married.
Five years ago, this friend decided to leave school and go to the big city. The husband is reluctant to live or die, thinking that the current life is already very good.
Husband and wife were originally the same forest birds, and they flew separately if they disagreed", and the friend went to the provincial capital alone to work, and then opened his own shop, did wholesale business, and bought a house.
Last year, my friend's husband gritted his teeth and followed him to the provincial capital.
The world is unpredictable. If the friend and the husband had turned their faces, there would have been no love later. Moreover, the annoyance within the family is temporary and will not last forever.
The writer Yishu once said: "A mature person often finds that there are fewer and fewer people to blame." ”You hate others, but you are not mature enough and need to change yourself. When you focus on your own business, you will find that you don't even have time to hate other people. Those who are idle and panicked, the most annoying people. Because he has time to ponder other people's faces, always staring into other people's eyes.
Life is finite, and you? It's really incomprehensible to spend time on the word "hate".
Third, it is better to accept than to turn the other cheek: understand others and get along normally.
There is such an incident in Yanzi Spring and Autumn.
Qi Jinggong stood in the palace, looked up, and found that Mars had stayed in the position of the void, and it had been a year, and he had not left.
Because back then, everyone's level of cognition of the stars was limited, and it was generally believed that Mars stayed at **, which meant that ** had a disaster. It is an unlucky sign. Qi Jinggong was worried.
Minister Yan Zi said: "It is the Qi State that is going to be punished." ”
Obviously, Yan Zi's words added fuel to the fire and made Qi Jinggong very angry.
Yan Zi said: "Over the years, there have been problems with the governance methods of the Qi State, the virtuous people have left, and the villains are proud. In a few words, the current situation was thoroughly analyzed.
Qi Jinggong had an epiphany, and immediately implemented moral and benevolent government, relieved the poor, and was close to the benevolent.
At one time, the word was called "well-intentioned".
The people you hate, maybe the people who come to help you, are just louder and harsher in their criticism. And you are used to listening to hypocrisy, and you will not be able to accept criticism for a while.Let's say you make a little bit of money while you're in business. Soon relatives and friends will come to talk to you, and some people will invite you to dinner. People who really understand will immediately give advice to keep you away from useless social interactions. You don't know what's going on, but you hate those who "understand".
A lot of "hate" is actually one's own opinion, not a socially accepted attitude. A very good person will also be hated, especially those who have no interest and are narrow-minded, and they are mortal enemies with excellent people.
Think about it seriously, what I hate is not knowing the general situation, and being a person is not atmospheric. The more people you hate, the more unstructured you are, and over time, you will go in a muddy direction.
Therefore, you have to get along with everyone normally, and have a good heart, and tolerate the ugliness, beauty, willfulness, etc. of others. If you look at people's strengths, you can know your weaknesses, and if you look left and right, you will become excellent.
One day in the Spring and Autumn Period, a student asked Confucius, "What is it like to repay grievances with virtue?" ”
Confucius replied, "How can we repay virtue?" Repay grievances with straightforwardness and repay virtue with virtue. ”
We are all too old, don't be happy, don't be unhidden.
Your tolerance and grievances have supported your pattern and given others a way out. Over time, you will be the one who is invincible.
Your kindness has fulfilled others as well as yourself.