It has been said, "The better a person is, the less friends he has." ”If you think along this line, you will think: those who withdraw from the circle of friends are excellent.
Facts and imagination are very different. Everyone has a different way of life and experience, and the original intention of doing things is not simple.
If you observe carefully, you will find that most of the people who disappear from your eyes are divided into the following three types, just see through them and don't need to bother.
A person who is depressed in life will choose to withdraw from the circle of friends, and when he gets better, he will naturally come back.
"Homecoming Song" wrote: "Three festivals of returning to the hometown to hang brocade clothes, Wu Yue and the king returned with a horse." ”Qian Biao at the end of the Tang Dynasty, when he was born, he looked very ugly, and his parents decided to throw him away. Grandmother was reluctant to take him with her.
When Qian Biao was a child, he frolicked with his playmates, but because of his poor family and abandonment by his parents, he was often ridiculed.
When he was in his twenties, his hometown Lin'an County recruited Xiang Yong, and he decisively signed up.
After many years of fighting, he not only made great achievements, but also established the Wu Yue Kingdom.
As the king of a country, Qian Biao returned to his hometown in a high-profile manner, feasted his father and fellow villagers, and put a ribbon on the place where he frolicked when he was a child.
Although face is not valuable, people want face after all.
There is a saying that when people are poor, everyone looks down on them. The face of the poor is worthless; Even when he spoke in front of his relatives, he didn't dare to raise his voice.
Therefore, when a person is poor and destitute, he has self-knowledge and will fade out of the circle of friends. He hoped for someone to come, but he wouldn't count on it. In his bones, he held his breath and wanted to make a name for himself.
If you bother a very poor person, he will think that you are laughing at him instead of helping him. You are watching from far and near, and secretly pushing him is the best help.
If you attend a class reunion, you will find that some classmates will not come when they pull him. It's not that he doesn't care about his classmates, it's that he mixes badly and is embarrassed to come. Only when he has the courage to "return home" will he take the initiative to return to his classmates.
By analogy, friends, relatives, and colleagues in the past will all have the behavior of leaving the circle for the sake of face. You don't have to bother.
A loner, who has withdrawn from the circle of friends, does not want to be disturbed.
It has been said, "Being gregarious is the loneliness of a group of people, and being alone is a carnival of one person." ”
When a person sees through the warmth and coldness of people, he will slowly fade out of the circle of friends. He is like a lonely tree, he doesn't want vines to entangle him, and it doesn't matter if anyone likes it or not.
"One Hundred Years of Solitude" wrote: "Whether we are born, we grow, we love each other, or we succeed or fail, until the end, loneliness exists like a shadow in a corner of life." ”If you carefully comb through the WeChat circle of friends, you will find that many friends have not posted to the circle of friends for a long time. When you contact him with questions, he will open his mobile phone every day and look at the circle of friends, but he never leaves a trace.
In "Dragon Babu", there is a sweeping monk who has been doing one thing for most of his life: cleaning the Tibetan Scripture Pavilion.
When Xiao Yuanshan's father and son and Murong Bo's father and son were fighting, they stood upsaid: "When will it be time to repay each other with such grievances?" It is better for all the sins of the world to be mine. ”
In addition to his strong martial arts, what is even more admirable is that he has insight into all the disputes of martial arts masters. Xiao Yuanshan, Murong Bo, etc., what grievances they have, what martial arts they have practiced, what diseases they have left behind, and what pain they have brought, they are all clear.
A philosopher said it well: "Observation without comment is the highest form of observation." ”
A person insists on being alone, not completely getting rid of society, nor pretending to be high, but is accustomed to being a bystander, seeing through but not explaining thoroughly, and pretending to be confused.
In the eyes of everyone, loneliness is frightening, but in the eyes of lonely people, loneliness can be enjoyed, as beautiful as drinking tea. Just like a poem - raise a glass to invite the bright moon, and the shadow becomes a trio, where is the loneliness?
You like to be gregarious, that's your choice, don't force others to be like you; He likes to be alone, you don't bother, and he doesn't bother to walk with you.
People who are thriving have found a suitable circle and don't want to be pulled by low-level circles.
The ancients said: "No one asks about the poor in the downtown area, but the rich have distant relatives in the mountains." ”
Everyone wants to meet wealthy relatives and friends and be pulled along.
In fact, rich people don't help people casually. Because he still wants to go higher, if there is a group of poor people behind him, he will feel that it is a burden.
Lu Mengzheng, the prime minister of the Northern Song Dynasty, was kicked out by his father when he was a child, and his relatives also kept their distance from him. During the Chinese New Year, he went to borrow food and clothes, but his relatives refused.
After Lu Mengzheng won the championship in high school, his relatives came to congratulate him, but he posted a couplet, which means "If you don't accompany you at sunset, who are you when the east mountain rises again". Explain the human affection thoroughly, put away the affection, and everyone will be fine in the future.
He wrote in "Cold Kiln Fu":"The first poor gentleman is naturally born of bones; A rich villain does not get rid of poverty and cold body. How can Fu Lu force it, and no one wants to be rich and rich? ”
People have backbone, but they also have resentment. If you don't stretch out a warm hand when others are down, then when others are developed, they will naturally abandon you.
Whether you are worried about being dragged down, or you are worried about not helping, people who are higher than you, don't bother.
According to the saying that things gather like people and divide people, only when you and him are at the same level, can you come and go often, and no one will suffer in this kind of communication.
There is a fate to meet thousands of miles away, but there is no chance to meet on the other side.
Who can say clearly about the gathering and scattering of feelings? Even if you are a very kind person, you will lose friends because you are misunderstood.
Whether it is friendship, love, or family affection, the ultimate goal is not to be together all the time, but to cherish fate and get used to it. It's really hard to find someone to chat with anytime, anywhere.
Therefore, for the person who has withdrawn from the circle of friends, you should not bother, just silently say: If you are well, it will be a sunny day.
Perhaps, the best relationship, is that I've been following you, in every way you know or don't know.