There is one thing that human nature has in common:Pursue advantages and avoid disadvantages.
Everyone wants to be happy all their lives, free from suffering.
The reality is that things backfire, you can't get what you want, and what you don't want comes as promised.
In "Numerology", it is said: "When spring comes, flowers bloom overnight, and the ground is full of frost during the winter solstice." ”Pain and happiness can be transformed into each other, and there are signs before they come. If you can see through it in time, you can grasp your fate, and when the pain comes, stabilize yourself and change positively; Happiness comes, prevention is better than prevention, and it continues to get better.
The Ming Dynasty writer Ling Mengchu wrote a story of "two mistaken identities for Sister Mo's elopement", which embodies such a truth: The suffering in a person's life has cause and effect. We must believe that hardship comes first, and happiness comes last.
Lack of morality is a curse.
During the Ming Dynasty, there was a woman named Zhangjiawan in BeizhiSister Mo, beautiful appearance, likes to drink. HusbandXu De, working as an errand in the local government.
It stands to reason that Sister Mo is married to a family with decent economic conditions, and her life should be very happy. But she disliked her husband in every way. In her eyes, the ideal husband should be a neighborYang Erlang
After drinking, Sister Mo often complained about her family and praised Yang Erlang.
There is a saying that good things don't go out, but bad things spread thousands of miles.Sister Mo's words were heard by the neighbors, and they all thought that this was a woman who did not keep her duty.
There are also good people who relay Sister Mo's words to Xu De. Since then, there has been a quarrel in a good family, and Sister Mo has a heart disease because of this.
The ancients said, "Those who have attained the Tao have much help, but those who have lost the Tao have little help." ”
One thought is evil, although the disaster has not come, the blessing has been far away. Once a person is labeled as "vicious", the people around him will avoid it, and thus lose the help they deserve.
The "butterfly effect" tells us that butterflies in the forest, with the slightest flap of their wings, can cause air movement, which can form a tornado.
If a person has evil thoughts, even if he does not do evil things, it will cause an uproar, and it will be even more difficult to change the status quo.One of my cousins, when he was in kindergarten, took a watch from his tablemate. After the incident, the parents of both sides quarreled several times. The cousin's behavior was known to his relatives, and from then on he was treated as a thief to guard against.
It wasn't until my cousin was in junior high school that everyone changed their opinion of him. At that time, my cousin studied hard and won the three good student awards many times in a row.
In life, a lot of suffering, and not being able to complain about others, are all from the "evil thoughts" in the heart. Even if you say something vicious, you can't do it.
If you are not careful in making friends, you can easily be deceived.
Yang Erlang was originally an unmarried older young man, and after he knew that Sister Mo liked him, he took the initiative to contact Sister Mo. It leads to neighborhood conflicts and continues to escalate.
One day, Sister Mo and the maid went out to pray together. Halfway through, I met an old acquaintance Yu Sheng.
Yu Sheng set down the banquet and warmly invited Sister Mo to drink. After coming and going, Sister Mo borrowed wine to drown her sorrows, and she was drunk and unconscious.
In a daze, Sister Mo said: "I made an appointment with Yang Erlang, it's a big deal to elope." The day is at a certain time. ”
Yu Sheng is a local unemployed vagrant, and after listening to Sister Mo's words, he took it into his heart - pretending to help Sister Mo escape from the family and go to other places with Yang Erlang to live a happy life.
The naïve Sister Mo was taken to the field by Yu Sheng and sold to the Qinglou, and there were words of suffering.
There is such a point of view: to see a person clearly, just look at the people around him.
Since ancient times, those who are close to Zhu are red, and those who are close to ink are black. When you meet a friend with a kind face and a black heart, and you still believe him, you will definitely fall into the trap, and the pain of life will follow one after another.In real life, there is a kind of person who is irritable with his family and friendly to outsiders, always thinking that people outside will help him. As everyone knows, outsiders want your home to fight in the nest every day, so that he can benefit from it.
Let's say a person who owns a shop and socializes with a group of friends who like to gamble for money. I worked hard to make money every day, and when it was time to rest, I lost all my money. When the family sees this, they will definitely be angry; But friends who gamble will say a lot of comforting words, which is comforting.
The family thinks from the perspective of "I hope you are good" and speaks bitterly; Outsiders think from the perspective of "getting benefits", and forget their righteousness when they see profits. If you can't see through it, you'll be calculated by outsiders.
A truly reliable friend will definitely persuade you to go home and be kind to your family, instead of fulfilling your "evil thoughts". Therefore, the people who complain with you, help you do bad things, praise your evil thoughts, take you to make a fortune, and use money to ** you are not allowed to socialize.
Husbands and wives are not harmonious, and the family is decaying.
When Sister Mo was in the Qinglou, she met a businessman in the village.
The businessman told Xu De what happened to Sister Mo; Xu De wrote the petition and submitted it to the local government. After some maneuvering, the government took Sister Mo back home.
Originally, it was a good thing to be reunited after breaking the mirror. But Xu De was cold to Sister Mo and wrote a letter of resignation.
The end of the story is that Yang Erlang married Sister Mo, and although the life was bumpy, it was quite passable.
The ancients said: "The house of goodness will have afterglow, and the house of bad will have aftermath." ”Husbands and wives can't get along with each other and can't treat each other well, and such a family can't succeed. Without a good family, life will be miserable. Otherwise, those who divorced would not have burst into tears. When a person walks into a second-married family, he will find that the husband and wife are still the original match.
In a second-married family, it is inevitable that there will be conflicts because of the education of the children, the prejudice of outsiders, the distribution of property, and the respective experiences of the husband and wife. Second-married couples who can be happy until they grow old are not nothing, but they need deep emotions and a big pattern.
When a person feels unhappy in his marriage, he should think more about the future, and he can assume the situation after the divorce. Cherish marriage, and there will be sweetness in hard days.
Of course, there are many types of one's suffering. In addition to the above situations, there are also troubles at work, too little income, family members do not understand, children do not study well, etc.
The ancients said, "The bell does not ring, and the drum does not ring." ”All suffering is not groundless, and can be traced back to its roots.
If you want to get rid of suffering, you have to plug it at the source, that is, "uproot".
Caring more for the family, sticking to the moral bottom line, making friends carefully, working hard to make money, learning to communicate, etc., are all happy things that need to be done more.
There is a saying that suffering is not bitterness, happiness is not happiness, it is just a temporary obsession.
Suffering comes, turn a corner, get through, and happiness comes naturally.