1 When I was a child, I made a mistake and was beaten by my mother, I was wronged, I decided to pretend to be crazy, scare and scare her, I just pretended to be crazy, my mother said leisurely: Oh, this is really crazy, eat in the future, and save food.
I immediately stood up, smiled with tears in my eyes, and said, "Mom, I'm not crazy, I'm fine!".
2When I came home at eight o'clock last night, I was dying of hunger, but my wife was sitting on the bed with her face covered, and she said that she had a toothache and did not cook dinner. I went downstairs and bought some barbecue, peanuts, rice edamame, and a bottle of beer, and brought her bread. When I got home, I put my things on the table and washed my hands, and when I came back, I found my wife sitting there eating barbecue and drinking wine, very comfortable. So I asked her, "Don't you have a toothache?"Can the barbecue be chewed?She smiled and said, "I just took a sip of wine, and my teeth don't hurt, so let's eat this bread for you!."
3The most embarrassing thing for a female man is that he uploaded a ** photo that he thought was delicate to the Internet, and a classmate who had not been in touch for many years actually commented: Is this your boyfriend?
4A man of wealth gave birth to three daughters. When the eldest daughter got married, he asked the man for a bride price of 200,000 yuan, on the grounds that his daughter had a high education and was worth the price. When his second daughter got married, he asked the man for a bride price of 250,000 yuan, on the grounds that his daughter was very beautiful and beat the four beauties in history. When the third daughter got married, the neighbor asked him: "How much bride price does this plan to ask the man?"The money fan thought for a while and said, "300,000." The neighbor asked tirelessly: "Your third daughter is not highly educated and not beautiful, why do you want so much?"The fan of wealth said loudly: "Why, by weight......."The neighbor laughed: "It's really worth it!."”
5 The impact of a silent fart Take the express bus home, the air conditioning is running high, and the car is smooth and fast, so it is very comfortable, and the red men and green women in the bus are tired and fall on the seats. In a daze, everyone was woken up by a super poisonous and stuffy fart;Everyone frowned at first, and soon someone desperately covered their mouths and noses, and when the concentration of stinky farts became higher and higher, everyone began to stir and look at each other viciously!Someone tried to open the window to let in air, only to find out in despair that it was completely futile because the car window was airtight ......Everyone was pushing the limits of tolerance, and finally one student couldn't hold back and shouted, "Stop!".Occasionally go down!The driver said, "Highway, can't stop!."The student shouted again, "Please, I can't hold it back!".The driver still ignored him. Finally, the student yelled: "Then I can't complain about it, and there will be a ring!"”
6 I went to the bathhouse to take a bath this afternoon, and I felt that the water was not very hot, so I shouted to the boss: "Boss, why is the water not hot?"The boss's voice came slowly: "The ash is too thick, it affects the peripheral nerves, right?"”
7. The doctor asks the patient how the fracture occurred. The patient said that I felt that there was sand in my shoes, so I held on to the telephone pole and shook my shoes. A bastard passed by and thought I had been electrocuted, so he grabbed a stick and gave me two sticks!
8 In the morning, in order to be in a hurry, I got up in a hurry and went to the breakfast shop to buy a basket of steamed buns and a cup of eight-treasure porridge. Then I got on the bus. I eat steamed buns while drinking eight-treasure porridge, and in order to save time, I think my friends must have had this experience too. What made me very angry was that when I smoked eight-treasure porridge, a girl next to me snorted. I'm disgusting, if it weren't for her pretty, I'd have wanted to beat her up.
9There was a mental illness near a certain company, and when someone passed by him, he would chase someone and ask, "Is it it?".Isn't it?Be. One day, an employee of the company was going to be late for work, and when he was about to arrive at the company, he happened to meet the psychosis who came to him, afraid that he would be entangled, and he was busy talking.
Yes, yes, I am. Psycho replied, "Fool!"."Turn around and go.
10 Today, my little niece came to play at home, my mother made braised pork, and when I was eating, I sandwiched a small piece of braised pork for my niece, and she pouted and was unhappy, I teased her and said, Oh, don't you want to eat it?Then I'll eat it myself, and as I spoke, I put it in my own bowl, and...
She stood up and took the plate away, what else could I say?
11 I walked down the street this afternoon and saw a couple breaking up, and the old excitement of each other!The girl said: You still want to dump me?You look like you're playing, 360 degrees are dead ends. Not to be outdone, the young man replied: Hello, the pit on your face, flies will fall on your feet. I want to say: stop arguing, you two are a good match!