1. The kindergarten teacher asked parents to accompany their children to complete the handicraft works with the theme of chickens, so I discussed with my wife: the handicrafts with the theme of chickens can be made in addition to the zodiac chicken, ** chicken, what else can be done?
Wife: That's a lot!White-cut chicken, salt-baked chicken, flower chicken, and so on!
2. When I was visiting the night market, I saw a stall with a lot of beautiful belts. Thinking about it, his belt was also old, so he chose a favorite one and asked the boss: How to sell it?The boss glanced up and asked, "How big is your dog?"”
3. I remember once going to a blind person for a massage, during which the master kept asking questions.
I was very uncomfortable that day, so I ignored it.
Finally he muttered, "Speak to me." For us blind people, if you ignore me, I feel like my ears are broken. ”
4 was in class when he suddenly smelled a foul ......I was covering my nose and frowning, when my tablemate suddenly said to me: "Quick, ask carefully, smell hard, remember, this is the smell of my fart, don't say I'm farting as soon as you smell it in the future." ”…Oops, I'll go, I must be too fond of playing with fools.
5Before school, the teacher called the student to the office, took out a painkiller and said, "You can eat it." ”
The student was puzzled and said, "I don't have any pain on my body." ”
The teacher said, "You'll be in pain after a while, I've already informed your dad of the news that you scored zero on the exam!."”
6 buddies came to my house and cried: Lao Tzu has to divorce that girl!I looked at my buddy with a blue nose and swollen face and said: Although you were beaten by your sister-in-law, there is no need to divorce. Dude: She didn't hit me. Me: Since she didn't beat you, you don't need to get a divorce. My buddy looked at me and said faintly: Although she didn't beat me, she was next to command.
7 Tang monks and apprentices sat on the grass to rest, and the two little demons watched from afar. The little demon A said to B: "The king asked us to arrest Tang Seng, but I don't know which of these four is?"B said: "I don't know either, but I heard that Tang Seng is the leader of these four people, just like our king!."A breathed a sigh of relief: "You said earlier, the characteristics of leadership are too obvious!."So he ......Zhu Bajie was arrested.
8 The spring is cold, the weather is cold, and the husband is looking for a sweater. The wife said, "I washed it, it's small, and I gave it to my brother." The husband looked for woolen pants again. The wife said again, "I washed it, and I gave it to my brother." The husband was angry: "You wash me too, give it to your sister!."”
9 When I was in high school, the homeroom teacher was very strict, and I was not sensible at that time, and I was often angry. Before graduating, I thought of a bad trick and pasted the teacher's ** all over the streets and alleys, which read: Collect the rags. After graduating from university, I heard my classmates say: After we graduated, somehow the teacher started the scrap business, I didn't expect it to get bigger and bigger, I officially resigned as a teacher two years ago, and now I am the CEO of a waste company, and I made a fortune!
10I like the feeling of the male protagonist holding the female protagonist from behind on TV.,So I deliberately quarreled with my girlfriend today.,And then my girlfriend was angry and left.。 I chased after her and hugged her from behind, no matter how hard she struggled, hehe, then she should forgive me and go back and kiss me. While I was fantasizing, two people came out of the police booth next to me and pressed me down ......I'm going, shouldn't the plot develop like this?
11A man stood on the bus stop and laughed, causing passers-by to look at him as if they were a rare animal. One of them asked you why you were smirking, and he forced himself to laugh and said proudly: I played the ticket buyer and didn't get on the bus after buying the ticket.
12A customer shouted to the owner of the hat shop, "This hat costs $70?"Are you crazy!With that money, you can buy a pair of fine leather boots. ”
You are right, sir. But I don't understand, how do you put these fine leather boots on your head?”
13My girlfriend turned back to me and yelled, "Move your shadow away!".
My girlfriend went to weigh herself, and as soon as she stood up, the scale soared to 130 pounds, and my girlfriend looked at me angrily and said, "Don't move me!".”
I said, "I didn't make it bad!."”
Girlfriend: "Stay away from me!."”
Me: "I'm far away from you. ”
My girlfriend looked back and yelled, "Move your shadow away...... too."”