"The purpose of marriage is to teach you not to trust your own judgment too much," said Chu Deyong, a cartoonist.
Indeed, too many young people, in love, show a two-faced appearance.
When in love, obedient, with a particularly good personality, and especially generous when spending money;Once married, they immediately reveal their true nature, stingy, spineless, biting, short-tempered, etc.
It is not difficult for us to find that objects of bad character, money, houses, cars, and jobs, are not worthy of love.
But how do you judge a person's character?
Remember one thing, look at the size of the "object" and you will know.
Regarding the attitude towards the "enemy", see mode.
Most people, when they talk about their enemies, they grit their teeth and they want to rush over and beat them.
There are also people who hold a grudge against someone, so at no time can you hear the reputation of the enemy, and you are not allowed to mention the enemy by the people around you.
Keeping hatred in mind is clearly a manifestation of a pattern that is not big enough.
In this life, in addition to life and death, everything else is a trivial matter", if you have grievances with others from time to time, it is nothing more than the embodiment of "calculating, small belly corns".
Living in hatred, always looking for revenge. In such a situation, how can the life of a husband and wife be peaceful?
Find someone who is full of hatred in his heart, obviously unreliable and even trembling every day.
People with good moral character understand the truth that "the enemy should be solved or not", and can always find a way to resolve hatred, especially some ordinary contradictions.
It can also tolerate hatred that cannot be resolved.
In the Spring and Autumn Period, Jin Daojun asked his courtier Qi Huangyang and said, "You are retired, who will replace you?"”
Qi Huangyang said: "Xie Hu is capable. ”
When Jin Engong heard this, he was taken aback: "Xie Hu is your enemy." ”
Qi Huangyang smiled and said, "You asked who could occupy the position, but you didn't ask who the enemy was. ”
Later generations praised Qi Huangyang, who was very virtuous, and left an allusion of "not avoiding the enemy".
If a person can look at people fairly and objectively and discover the virtues of others, he will show that he himself has virtues. It's an ancient way of identifying people.
A gentleman can keep a city in his heart. On the path of life, there will be stumbles, but they will be resolved quickly, so life will be peaceful.
For attitudes towards "friends and family", see "Reputation".
Looking for an object, we all hope that the other person is "indescribable, reminiscing about the past".
But many people like rhetoric and don't know which one is true.
How do you know if his words are sincere and effective in the long run?It depends on how he treats his friends and family.
Ma Zhou, the prime minister of the Tang Dynasty, married a widow and an old lady for the first time, and the two fell in love for life.
As an outsider, it's hard to understand. But if we look at the life journey of the Ma Chau couple before they got married, we will understand.
When she was young, she married from the countryside to Chang'an, but shortly after the marriage, her husband died.
In ancient times, most women would return to their parents' homes once they lost their husbands, no longer taking care of their in-laws' affairs and the elderly.
Mrs. Wang chose to stay at her husband's house and opened a shop selling powder to make a living. There is an elderly mother-in-law in the family, and she is well taken care of.
When Ma Zhou first arrived in Chang'an, he spent the night at Granny Wang's house and saw her character clearly.
A person who is friendly to relatives and friends and does things properly is not too bad.
Back to reality, we can have many situations, interact with friends and family, and express our attitudes.
First of all, after borrowing money from friends and family, whether it will be returned on time.
A person who does not pay back and scolds creditors is not a good person at first glance. It's scary to think that you're an idler, but you have the right to do so.
If you get married, your lover borrows money from your parents, siblings, and one of them does not pay it back, causing all kinds of family conflicts.
People who repay money on time and think about repaying money at any time may be poor, but their hearts are not poor.
The second is to communicate with relatives and friends, whether it is to use or to really help.
It is common for gifts to be exchanged for gifts.
If you are stingy with your friends and relatives in return, or a tough, then the same attitude towards your lover.
People of good character help others by giving gifts. For example, when a relative's child goes to college and the tuition fee is poor, giving a big red envelope is to help others.
Thirdly, the friends made are bad friends or people who go to the future together.
There are a bunch of friends around you, not good people, and you must be a bad eye when you are a lover with such a person.
Friends can interact on the basis of career development and have a positive and sunny heart.
A person takes on color in his companions. If you don't have decent relatives and friends, and you don't have a good attitude towards your relatives and friends, that's "black";When a large group of positive people get together, that is "qi".
For attitudes toward "parents", see Family Style.
Filial piety comes first. Whatever the reason, a person who is unwilling to support his parents and talks about them with hatred must be a bad person.
Bad is evil. Don't get too late.
During the Eastern Jin Dynasty, a boy named Fan Xuan accidentally injured his finger and cried very sadly.
People thought he was in pain and came to meet him.
I cried because I was afraid of hurting my parents," he said.
After the death of his parents, he built a small house near the cemetery and kept a mourning watch for many years.
In the process of mourning, we must also insist on reading.
Emperor Jin Cheng asked him to be an official many times, but he refused and chose to teach for a living.
During the reign of Emperor Xiaowu, the local ** set up a school for him, enrolling hundreds of students.
And a filial marriage will make the old people in the family live well, and it will definitely not be too bad for family members to help each other.