Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Joke Collection - Misunderstanding and Embarrassment" (Attached: The weather is getting cold, everyone pay attention to keep warm!）
I liked a lot of people in junior high school, and I felt that he was very good to me, and no one said anything.
It wasn't until one day after school, I was late, he stopped me, looked at him and stopped, after a while, I was so shy that my face turned red, and he slowly took out a love letter from his pocket and said: "For the sake of me being so good to you, help me give this letter to your table!".”
My heart at that time, I was pulling out the cold
I went to dinner with my buddy, and when it was time to settle the bill, my buddy shouted, "Waiter, check out." ”
The waiter came over and said, "If you spend a total of 184, you will give 180." ”
I looked at the bill and saw that something was wrong, so I said to the waiter, "No, it's not our table." ”
The waiter asked with a questioning face: "That's right, you spent 184 yuan at table 5." “
I said, well, it didn't feel right, and I said, "We're table 6." I casually pointed to the table number.
The waiter looked at the table number, looked at the bill, and said apologetically: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, brother, I see it as table No. 5, and your table No. 6 costs a total of 240." ”
After my buddy checked out, he shouted at me when he came out the door, "I thank you!".My good brother!”
Hahaha, hey, you're a fucking genius!
My girlfriend sent me a WeChat message: "Honey, bring a roast chicken back after work." “
I was driving at the time, so I replied yes.
I parked the truck, the phone dropped on the car and forgot to take it, I thought to myself that every time my girlfriend asked to bring something, in fact, she didn't eat much at all, so I went to a friend's barbecue restaurant and grilled a chicken leg casually, just give my girlfriend a taste.
When I got home and walked in the door, my God, my girlfriend's parents were there, and my girlfriend looked at the chicken leg in my hand and asked, "I asked you to buy a chicken, you are good, so I bought a chicken leg." “
At that time, I wanted to die!Hurry up and explain to your father-in-law and mother-in-law.
The next day, I opened my phone and saw that the message from my girlfriend was:
Honey, bring a roast chicken back from work.
My parents are here today.
AhhI don't know if you've had a similar experience to me.
When I walked out of the subway with my colleague today, I saw a beautiful girl who handed out a flyer, and when I passed by her, my sister's eyes lit up and she smiled and quickly handed me a flyer, and most importantly, handed it to me, not to my colleague.
At that time, I had that beautiful taste in my heart, and I thought: Why don't so many people send it to me?And I passed by with my colleagues and only sent it to me, is it because my temperament is so attractive, like fireflies in the night, so conspicuous?
When I was about to muster up the courage to go up and ask **, WeChat, my colleague grabbed the flyer and looked down: plastic surgery advertisement....
At that time, I was angry, and this colleague was still laughing while teasing
When I was in high school, I fell in love with a girl.
One day, talking to her, she told me that she liked a boy, and then began to describe how good that boy was.
My first feeling wasn't me, but the more I listened to her description, the more I felt that she was me.
So I confessed to her as soon as I was hot-headed - it wasn't me!
I was playing a game, and suddenly my phone rang, I guess it was the takeaway, and I picked it up**: Hey".
The other party said: "Hey, hello, I'm Meituan takeaway, the meal you ordered has arrived, please take it at the door." ”
I responded, "Okay." ”
I hurriedly ran downstairs, looked left and right, and didn't see the takeaway brother, so I asked, "Are you there?"”
The other party said hesitantly: "Big brother, I'm sorry, I made a mistake just now." ”
Toot ......Toot ......Toot ......Toot ......
AhhI stood at the door with a bewildered expression!I really want to curse.
I had breakfast just now, ordered a bowl of hot and sour noodles, and after eating a bite, I felt that it was not sour enough, and I added a little vinegar, but it was still not sour enough, and I added some more, but I still felt that it was not sour enough. When I picked up the vinegar bottle for the third time, the big brother at the table opposite couldn't help but speak: "This is my Coke!."You leave me a little !!
A man goes to the toilet. The next door suddenly said, "How are you doing?"”
In order not to be rude, the man replied, "It's okay." ”
The next door said, "What are you busy with?"”
The man: "On a business trip. ”
Next door: "I'll hang up first, there's a neurotic here, and he rushes to answer as soon as I speak." ”
Go to the bank and withdraw the money and say to the counter clerk, "Take 1500!."”
The salesman said, "Not so much. ”
Me: "Would you like to see if there are any other windows?"”
The salesman said helplessly: "It's that you don't have so much in the card!."”
I met a beautiful sister today, and I felt like we had a good chat!
Just ask her what her mobile phone number is
I'll give you my QQ, convenient!”
Okay!"Come back in the evening and add her QQ
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
The verification question is: "What is my mobile phone number?".”
Girl, can you please not refuse me so tactfully!
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