For women, marriage is not only a change of identity, but also a big test of life, just like a newcomer stepping into the workplace, many things will not be as simple as they seem.
Whether with her in-laws or with her husband, a woman cannot be a person who speaks freely, otherwise she will ruin her happiness with her own hands.
Because there are some things that either you tell the truth or are right, silence and tolerance are the keys to a successful marriage.
Therefore, mothers should tell their daughters to remember to keep these four hearts and eyes after marriage, which is not to think too much, but to be far-sighted.
Rule 1: Don't tell your in-laws about your family situation.
No matter how good your in-laws are to you, you can't tell them about your mother's family, which is the most basic way a woman can protect herself.
Whether you believe it or not, the attitude of your in-laws towards you is not only the influence of your husband, but also the support of your mother's family.
The world said, "Married a daughter, poured water." "It seems that the mother's family is ruthless, but at a critical moment, the only thing a woman can really rely on is the mother's family.
If your family is strong, then your in-laws will not dare to do anything to you, no matter how your husband treats you.
Because they know very well that your background is hard, and if they don't treat you well, the family behind you will make them pay a terrible price.
If your mother's family is of average strength and has suffered a lot of bad things, they will not only not sympathize with you, but will despise you for it.
For most families who marry children, the most important task of the daughter-in-law is to carry on the family tradition and serve the family without complaint.
In addition, they still treat you as an outsider from the inside, even if they are nice to you on the surface, it is to make you let your guard down and do what they say.
Therefore, to talk about family affairs and listen to your in-laws is to completely dig a hole in yourself.
Don't treat your mother-in-law like a mother.
For a mother-in-law, all her actions and attitudes towards you depend on his son, not on who you marry into the door.
In order to prolong your life, your mother-in-law will either give you a blow and then give you a little candy to eat at the beginning, or she will be hypocritical to you.
It would be naïve to think that she really cares about you and really treats you as her own daughter.
You must always understand that your mother-in-law is actually most concerned about her son, you have a good relationship with your husband, your husband can stand on your side unconditionally, and your mother-in-law's attitude towards you will naturally not be bad at that time.
If your mother-in-law has a very bad attitude towards you, don't be too concerned and disappointed, this is what she is.
So, if your mother-in-law is kind to you, at most you should return the same care so as not to confuse your identity and plunge yourself into endless entanglements and pain.
Don't speak ill of your in-laws in front of your husband.
For women, the ideal state of marriage is for the spouses to break away from their respective families and form a new family with only each other.
But the reality is that a daughter cannot get out of the family, and a son cannot completely break away from the parents who gave birth to him.
Although you are talking about people who want to get along for a lifetime, men are still hesitant in front of years of affection and blood.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, etc., many women who have married a man's wife cannot extricate themselves from these relationships well.
Therefore, the dissatisfaction and repression in the heart will become a complaint among the female crowd, and such behavior will not get the empathy of the husband, and even make him think that you are too delicate.
So, even your closest husband can't talk about your grievances with your in-laws because men aren't always on your side.
Don't listen to your husband in everything, but have your own opinion on things.
It is right for a woman to be dependent on her husband, but she cannot be like a mollusk without bones and follow the man's will.
A man and a woman are different, and he may not see things from the exact same perspective as you, so he may not necessarily produce the results you want.
What's more, everyone's life has its own trajectory, even if you are a couple, at most there is overlap in some aspects, but it will never be the same.
You can't control his life, and he can't control yours, or something will go wrong.
You can discuss things, but each other's ideas can only be suggestions, and the final decision is still in your hands.
If you obey your husband in everything and don't have your own opinions, the man will only think that you are a spineless parasite and he will not love you forever.
Therefore, even after marriage, women cannot abandon the habit of independence, and must have their own thoughts and abilities, which is the greatest guarantee after marriage.