1 Last night, after my husband watched a **, he had to use a tissue to make me curls, saying: If it is successful, it will be beautiful and save money without hurting ...... hairAfter my husband washed my hair, I found that there were no tissues left at home. My quick-witted husband made strips of toilet paper (yes, toilet paper) and rolled ...... for me
This morning, I woke up and looked in the mirror: I'll go, and what about the pretty curls?My head is full of toilet paper scum like a chicken coop!
2 Yesterday, when I had lunch, there was a crab on the table, I was stunned, and my mother said, "Eat, my mother is full, and my mother is not hungry." I lowered my head and picked up the rice, and tears suddenly burst out of my eyes, dripping on the rice. "Son, my mother is old, it's useless, wait until you finish eating, you clean up the table. She pointed to the hill-like pile of crab shells in front of her.
3. I remember when I was in the third year of junior high school, the teacher would leave a lot of homework on the weekend. I was very impressed, and once, when the teacher didn't leave too much homework, he asked us, "How is the homework?"This is not a very easy question to answer, and whether you answer more or less, he may give you a few more points. At this critical moment, the buddy who usually doesn't like to talk saved us, and he said, "It's just right."
4 and his wife were about to take the bus home, and when they were at the bus stop, they found that there were two buses passing through the community where their home was located, so they asked her which one to takeThese two goods knocked on my head: You are so stupid, of course it is cost-effective to choose more stations for the same money!I ......This IQ will affect the next generation or not
5 Today's composition class teacher assigned a 500-word composition, Xiao Ming found that he only wrote 250 words, he had an idea, and wrote "the above content 2" in the last row of the composition, the next day, the composition text was sent down, the teacher called people below 60 points to stand up, everyone sat in their seats, and the teacher only read the score: "Xiaogang 100 points, Xiaoli 100 points......Xiao Ming 40 points. Xiao Ming stood up and said, "Didn't I write 80 points in the text?"Why do you say I'm 40 points?The teacher took Xiao Ming's composition and said, "This is the last essay with 80 points, and the next essay is 80 2." "Xiao Ming, punish you for doing 1,000 push-ups. Xiao Ming said: "The sea of bitterness is boundless, 555." ”
6. There was a boy in the previous class who couldn't write bullshit, and he couldn't teach it, so he swooped in the second year of junior high school. I asked my classmates and fell in love. Then when it came to the third year of junior high school, suddenly the level of the article obviously went up to a new level. Parents reacted that they were out of love.
7 In recent days, I have a severe cold, a little affected my work, yesterday I went to the hospital near my home to play the hanging bottle, it happened to be a young female ** to serve me, but too young, I was afraid of pain, afraid that she was an intern, I said: Please look at it, a success, because I fainted, but also afraid of pain.
Female**: I inserted it in one go, it won't hurt, it's not the first time for me!
The whole room looked at the two of us, I was dizzy, the female ** may also know that she made a mistake, her face was flushed, she finished the fight, turned around and left, and every time she came in in the future, she felt weird.
8One day, my wife and I were kidnapped, and she immediately stopped me and said loudly, "Run!"I want to live a good life alone in the future!I was so moved that I ran and asked, "Do you have to be alone?"Shall I marry another one?”
9 Leader: "Look at Xiao Li, people have just gotten married, and they put aside their wives to go to work, everyone has to learn this kind of dedication, and now please talk about Xiao Li's feelingsXiao Li: "Actually, there's nothing else, we always quarrel together." ”
10 I am an old lottery player just now, the second wife asked me: "How to spend five million." ”
I said, "The tax is 1 million, my parents are 1 million, and my brother and I are half of the remaining 3 million." ”
Then, the second wife was very angry and said angrily: "My mother, I don't have my mother's ......."”
Then one went to another room.
And then there was no more, then.
11My family has a cat. After playing outside for a long time, the cat found a basin and peed when he returned home. Seeing this, my wife laughed and happily sued me. What a cat, and a fat water that doesn't flow into the fields of outsiders!