In the adult world, ending a relationship is often not a heated argument, but a silent estrangement.
quarrel because you still care, cry because of heartache, and a glimmer of hope to save the relationship. Quiet, is the complete disappointment, even looking back is superfluous.
But why are there quarrels, why are there silent turns? It's all for a reason.
As the saying goes, "Money makes the devil grind." ”
Too many relationships between adults start by talking about money, and everyone is eager to make money and help each other. Unexpectedly, the beginning is also the end.
Borrowing money, but bonding.
People, who are not in difficulty, if they can get help from friends, it will be much easier.
The writer Hu Shi is a warm-hearted person who often lends money to relatives and friends.
In 1919, Lin Yutang was studying at Harvard and was living in embarrassment, so he borrowed money from Hu Shi: "Can you guarantee that someone else will borrow a thousand dollars and return it after I finish my studies." ”
Soon, Hu Shi gathered the money and mailed it to Lin Yutang.
What's more, Hu Shi borrowed money and went out, but he didn't publicize it everywhere, just "you know and I know", saving the other party's face.
No wonder the writer Sanmao said: "If you lend money to others, just like Mr. Hu Shi, if I borrow it, I won't pay it back." There can be money between people, so that we can be more successful in interpersonal relationships. ”
It's a pity that there aren't many people like Hu Shi. And there don't seem to be many people who can remember to repay the money for the rest of their lives.
We believe more and more in Zhang Ailing's words: "There are many ways to destroy love, but the storm that uproots is to borrow money." ”
Zhang Ailing at that time loved Hu Lancheng deeply, so she put down her dignity, waited for Hu Lancheng to divorce, and then married her.
There is a marriage, but Hu Lancheng did not focus on the family, nor did he regard Zhang Ailing as the only one.
For a long time, Hu Lancheng seemed to have evaporated from the world. Reappeared, beside him, there were other women. Zhang Ailing took the initiative to let go, and then gave Hu Lancheng a breakup fee of 300,000.
It seems that money buys out feelings. Whether it is family, friendship, or love, this is the case.
If you don't repay the borrowed money, you will become a liar, so that relatives and friends will be estranged, and even through the way of court, it will be completely broken. When a husband and wife or lover break up, giving a breakup fee is the last time they meet.
With the development of the times, don't pay face-to-face, across the network from each other, pay off the debt, then there is no love, then each is fine.
Counting money is often a secret calculation.
As the saying goes: "Brothers, settle accounts." ”
As long as the money is calculated, cooperation will be easy to do.
The idea is very good, but the actual situation is different, a lot of money is not calculated, or rather, everyone has a careful mind and cannot agree.
There is a story in "Tiaoxi Yuyin Cong Talk".
During the reign of Huizong of the Song Dynasty, there was a ** named Zheng Jian, who created a new tea "Longyuan Shengxue", and the color of the tea was like snow.
When Zheng Kejian gave the tea to Song Huizong, he was rewarded and promoted to the transfer envoy of Fujian Road.
Then, Zheng Kejian found that his nephew found a tea called "vermilion", which was very special. snatched his nephew's tea and gave it to Song Huizong. Soon, Zheng Kejian's son was rewarded.
After the nephew knew the truth, he scolded: "A thousand miles of resentment." ”
Very, the relationship between Zheng Kejian and his brothers and sisters has been severed, and the two generations have died of old age.
In real life, siblings often count against each other.
For example, in the process of support, an agreement was made to give 100 yuan a month to the parents, but some people found a reason not to give it; Or the parents are partial, take the eldest money, and spend it on the second child.
Relatives and friends, who came for the sake of interests, left because the interests were exhausted.
For example, if a friend opens a store together, it was originally agreed that one person would be responsible for sales and one person would be responsible for management. If you have money, you will distribute it according to the contract. But the person in charge of sales put the money in his own pocket.
After a calculation, you probably have this feeling - once bitten by a snake for ten years, afraid of the well rope.
When I was a child, I would break up with my playmates and tell each other loudly "I'm playing with you", but it won't be long before they reconcile again; And when adults end a relationship, they just want to "I won't play with you for money", and after a long time, they won't be reconciled, and it's good to be able to laugh it off.
The battle between money and face analyzes people's resistance to class reunions.
In the shadow of money, class reunions turn sour.
Many people are resistant to attending class reunions, and the reasons behind them are complex. One of them said: "I dropped out of school and failed to finish high school, while most of my classmates went on to university. Our current level of life seems to have distanced.
Another said, "At a party, everyone else is talking about business, so what can I talk about?" Someone else bluntly said: "I can't stand that kind of ubiquitous show-off." ”
These situations are all closely related to money. In today's society, people seem to be accustomed to judging a person's status by the amount of money. People who don't have money often feel marginalized in gatherings, as if they are just a dispensable role.
When someone pays for the party, you can just go with your mouth and enjoy the free food, but that also means that you may be missing a little bit of face. Every time I go to a party, it feels like I have to sit on a cold board and get cold, and this experience makes people reluctant to go a second time.
In the circle of vanity, comparison has become the norm.
In real life, there are many such circles in which people climb each other, no matter what it is, they have to pursue the brand, and behind the superficial prosperity lies hypocrisy. Once you see through all this, it is natural to choose to leave such a circle.
The trial of money recognizes the authenticity of people's hearts.
In the world of the rich, it is better to be a self-ashamed person than to enjoy a simple meal in your own little world.
Yishu wrote in "The First Half of My Life": "The science of interpersonal relations never has the day of graduation, and every day seems to be thrown into the sand and gravel, slowly grinding, and the valuable experience accumulated after the skin is broken and bleeding is the smoothness of the ordinary mouth." "Money is like a heart test, like countless sands, polishing all the weak points, and the rest is real.
If someone is willing to suffer in front of you and talks to you about money, then you are really lucky to have met a noble person. And being sad to talk about money is a sign that the people around you may be something you need to stay away from as soon as possible.
The shelf life of interests, changes in interpersonal relationships.
In the adult world, every relationship has its shelf life. Just like a currency will depreciate and be revised, not turning the face, not asking questions, not bothering, these are just appearances, deep-seated problems, and interests that cannot be agreed upon.
From now on, work hard to make money and live up to it, which is the most responsible attitude for yourself. Let us face every complex and real interpersonal relationship with such a principle, so that every friendship is worth cherishing and every benefit is clear.