Whether it's marriage or love, when the relationship tends to stabilize, many people tend to fall into a misunderstanding:
They think that as long as the relationship is close enough, they can talk and do things less and less considering each other's emotions, and think that the other party should blindly tolerate them.
As everyone knows, in the long run, no matter how good the relationship is, it may be difficult to maintain.
It's easy to fall in love and hard to get along, and when love comes to the most insipid part of life, we are often lost in a complex emotional whirlpool.
Only those really powerful women understand that the relationship between the sexes is nothing more than these three points:Be self-reliant, complain less, and don't be too full of love.
Self-reliance and self-love
Someone said, "Marriage is like a pair of eyes, when you open your eyes, you can see the truth." ”
A truly long-lasting relationship often stems from the attraction of equal emotional parties and the effort to work hand in hand.
Women with high emotional intelligence will understand that the value of their lives does not depend on the other half they rely on, but on their own growth and progress.
After all, "the mountains will fall, and the trees will shake".
Mrs. Maisel in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is a woman with a traditional family concept who prepares three meals a day for her husband Joel and takes care of the housework so that Joel can have no worries about her career.
However, when Mrs. Maisel found out that her husband had betrayed her marriage, she did not wallow in grief and began to find her own worth.
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
She stepped out of the house, worked and studied, gradually discovered her talent and charm, and eventually became a successful comedian.
Oscar Wilde said, "Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." ”
Love yourself is the foundation, and love is overflowing.
It's like pouring water into a cup, when the water is full, it will naturally overflow, and so is love. Only when your heart is full can you have the ability to love others.
Fewer complaints
Will Bowen said in "The World Without Complaining": "Complaining never attracts and brings what you want; On the contrary, complaining will make you never get rid of the things you don't want. ”
Firewood, rice, oil and salt in life are trivial and complicated, and it is inevitable that there will be quarrels.
It's just that happiness doesn't come from complaining, it only gradually erodes feelings, making the relationship more tense and distant.
Not complaining in case of trouble, not blaming in distress, is also a kind of wisdom.
Robert T. Bednar once said, "In the best marriage, there have been 50 impulses to strangle each other." ”
There will inevitably be frictions and contradictions in life, but the key is how to deal with and resolve them.
If the two sides can understand and support each other, they will certainly be able to overcome difficulties.
At the same time, we must also realize that love is not perfect, and we must have the mentality of tolerance and understanding of each other in order to make the relationship last.
Pride and Prejudice
Don't be too full
The so-called moon is full and the water is overflowing, which is the truth.
A relationship, too hard, too full, may become a disaster; The two get along, grasp the proportions, learn moderation, and the feelings can be kept fresh.
Austrian writer Stefan Zweig's ** "Letter from a Strange Woman" tells the life of an infatuated woman.
In **, the woman has had a crush on a strange man who lives across the street from her house since childhood, and although she has only met him on several faces, she falls in love with him at first sight.
As time goes on, she becomes more and more obsessed with this man, who knows nothing about her.
She constantly looks for opportunities to meet him, but each time she is disappointed.
Eventually, the woman decides to leave the man in despair and writes a long letter to him about her feelings.
In the letter, she described her inner world in detail and expressed her deep love for him. It's a pity that her love is unresponsive, and she can only bear the pressure and pain of her feelings alone, and finally regrets ending.
Having a degree in everything and giving according to needs is the long-term way of feelings.
It is said that love is a game, and really powerful women know how to grasp the proportions and not let themselves fall too deep and love too much.
Pride and Prejudice
Happiness does not come by luck, only by learning to manage feelings can it last for a long time.
As psychologist Goleman said, "Marriage is a long-term commitment and persistence that requires the joint efforts and wisdom of both husband and wife." ”
Love is not a war, no matter whether you are a man or a woman, as long as you choose to be accompanied by one person, you must use wisdom and responsibility to protect this relationship.
When the wind and snow are spent and the alliance is consumed by time, it is true happiness to be able to accompany each other for a long time.
May you and I still see the starlight in the ordinary years, and choose a good person to accompany us in the long years.
Author: Bee Fly Jun.