Yang Jiang once said: "Only people who are humble have the best chance to see the truth of the world." This sentence is used to describe Xiao Lian's situation, which is very appropriate. Xiao Lian, who was born in Yahuan, followed the eldest and youngest grandmother Peifang into the Prime Minister's Palace, with a low status, but she was also able to get a glimpse of the truth about the hot and cold world in the house.
In the TV series "The Family of Gold Powder", the ending of Xiao Lian and Liu Chunjiang is embarrassing. Liu Chunjiang was lovesick to death because he couldn't get Xiao Pian, and Xiao Pian cut his hair and became a nun, trapped by Liu Chunjiang's thoughts. However, this is not the ending in the original book, on the contrary, they are the happiest couple in the book.
When I saw Xiao Lian's success in marriage, I couldn't help but think of Leng Qingqiu, who was also from a poor family and full of poetry and books. Why is Leng Qingqiu's fate in marriage far less than that of Xiao Pian? Is it just because Xiao Ren met a good man? I repeatedly flipped through the original book and found three reasons why Xiao Pian was better than Leng Qingqiu:
First, on the issue of mate selection, Leng Qingqiu's performance is obviously not as rational as Xiao Pian. Leng Qingqiu valued Jin Yanxi's wealthy background, and although she knew that Yanxi was a gentleman, she still chose to spend the rest of her life with him, and even made the impulsive move of getting pregnant before marriage. This kind of hasty marriage due to pregnancy is undoubtedly the biggest hidden danger in marriage. Because you don't have enough time to understand whether this man is worth entrusting for life, you hurriedly enter the palace of marriage.
This is undoubtedly a big gamble, and the outcome is unknown. In contrast, Xiao Lian behaved extremely cautiously in the face of Liu Chunjiang's pursuit. She decisively rejected Liu Chunjiang and wrote a letter to make it clear: "Sir, please ask for a friend, I dare not climb high." I hope that we will respect each other, and we must not write letters in the future, so as to avoid right and wrong. Xiao Lian knew the gap between her family background and Liu Chunjiang, so she chose to refuse and left no room for it. Although the Liu family is not as prominent as the Jin family, it is also a large family. But Xiao Lian did not waver, she never had the intention of clinging to a wealthy family. In this regard, her sanity obviously surpassed Leng Qingqiu.
Second, Xiao Lian knows how to control her own destiny. She knew who she was and what she was and was not carried away by emotion. In her relationship with Liu Chunjiang, she has always maintained a clear head and clear thinking. Her letter to Liu Chunjiang was straightforward and appropriately spoken. She did not give Liu Chunjiang any misdirection or illusion, but clearly expressed her position and attitude. This kind of sanity and calmness allows Xiao Ren to better grasp her direction when facing the turn of fate.
Third, Xiao Lian has a sense of self-improvement. Despite her humble origins, she never gave up the opportunity for self-improvement. She strives to learn knowledge, skills and etiquette, and constantly improves her quality and cultivation. This sense of self-improvement enables Xiao Ren to deal with life's challenges more calmly and confidently.
To sum up, the reason why Xiao Ren was able to succeed in her marriage was not just because she met a good man. Her sanity, calmness, and awareness of self-improvement are all key factors in her success. In contrast, Leng Qingqiu was inferior to Xiao Pian in all three aspects. This may explain why Leng Qingqiu, who is also from a poor family and full of poetry and books, is far less fortunate in marriage than Xiao Pian. The following is a re-creation of the original text:
The second point: Regarding the understanding of "love", Leng Qingqiu is completely different from Xiao Pian. Leng Qingqiu thought that Jin Yanxi spent a lot of money for her as proof of love, but Xiao Lian was able to put aside material things and deeply understand a man's sincerity. Leng Qingqiu's cognition is too superficial, she feels that Jin Yanxi rents a house for her to open a poetry club and give gifts, which means that she really loves her. But she didn't realize that Jin Yanxi would be so generous with every woman she was interested in. Jin Yanxi's spending is like dirt, not only has her love for Leng Qingqiu, but also her show-off mentality as a son-in-law. Sanmao once said that some people's love is just a "mood at the time", and if you mistake this emotion for long-term love, it is your own naivety. Leng Qingqiu is exactly like this, mistaking "the emotions at that time" for love.
In contrast, Xiao Ren understands the complexity of human nature and emotions better. She refused Liu Chunjiang and didn't want to see her again, but a chance encounter in the opera garden made her re-examine Liu Chunjiang. Liu Chunjiang returned from abroad, open-minded, and hoped that love would be based on free choice. Xiao Pian fell in love with Liu Chunjiang as a person, not with his money. This is also the key to Xiao Ren's happiness in the end than Leng Qingqiu. She chose Liu Chunjiang, not the wealthy family behind her. And Leng Qingqiu, from the beginning, was eager to marry into a wealthy family, rather than choosing Jin Yanxi himself.
The third point: Xiao Pian, who grew up in the "pile of wealthy wives", knows how to manage marriage better than Leng Qingqiu after marriage. Many viewers thought that the failure of Jin Yanxi and Leng Qingqiu's marriage was due to the difference in family background, and felt that a poor woman marrying into a wealthy family would not have a good result. However, in the original book, although Xiao Lian was born poor, she was able to achieve happiness in the Liu family. She knows that the management of marriage is far more than Leng Qingqiu. There is a famous saying in "Celebrating More Than Years": "What can protect yourself is not a conspiracy, not a right." Xiao Lian understands this truth and uses wisdom to protect her marriage. And Leng Qingqiu, because he was too naïve and simple, failed to protect his happiness. The power of small pity comes from a deep understanding of life. She has mastered the delicate balance of the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, knows the due respect between concubines, and knows how to treat her subordinates well. In family life, her insight is undoubtedly remarkable. Of course, Liu Chunjiang's personality charm and Xiao Lian's good management have played a key role. She understands the gap between herself and the giants, and accepts it calmly and strives to make up for it.
In contrast, Leng Qingqiu seems too high-minded and unwilling to compromise on complicated family relationships. She tried to change Jin Yanxi, but was eventually abandoned and became a marginal figure in the Jin family. At first, she pursued a wealthy life, but after getting it, she was disgusted, and chose to give up after struggling bitterly. Even if Jin Yanxi changed her mind, she couldn't find the happiness in her heart. Because she never really understood what she really wanted.
Watching "The Family of Gold Powder" for the first time, people may think that Xiao Lian's happiness is due to Liu Chunjiang's reliability, and Leng Qingqiu's tragedy stems from Jin Yanxi's indifference. However, after careful tasting, it is not difficult to find that happiness and tragedy are actually their own choices. The wealthy life that Leng Qingqiu longed for, Xiao Lian never put it in her eyes, all she wanted was Liu Chunjiang. In the end, Leng Qingqiu saw through the vanity of the wealthy family and chose to leave; And Xiao Lian always stays sober and lives a simple life with Liu Chunjiang.
Although Xiao Ren is just a maid, and Leng Qingqiu is highly educated, the difference in their marriage choices is doomed to different fates. The key is that Leng Qingqiu married for money, and then insisted on marriage because of people; And Xiao Lian knew what she wanted from the beginning. We should learn from the wisdom of Xiao Ren and understand that talent is the most important thing. As for money and status, it's just a passing moment.