1 My sister's child was just one year old and five months old, once I asked him if you love your mother or your aunt, she replied that she loved her aunt, she loved her grandmother or her aunt, she also said she loved her aunt, and after asking a circle, she said that she loved her aunt, beautiful me, but later my sister asked her, do you love your aunt or love your mother, but she said she loves her mother, and later I learned that she would only answer the last name she heard, and I was really speechless.
2After the lights went out in the dormitory one night, the whole building was very quiet. At this time, a roommate raised his mobile phone and shouted:"Lift up your phones! Let me see you! Friends on the top bunk, let me hear your shouts, okay! Friends on the left, on the right, get high with me! "And then...."And then....He was dragged out of the corridor by the housekeeper and stood until 12 o'clock at night.
3 A mm writes in the state: "There is a man. He's not your boyfriend, nor is he your flirtatious partner. But you are so close that you don't care. When everyone doesn't know you, only he understands you. You've held hands and watched movies together. But you never kiss, never say I love you. I guess this is the confidante of Lan Yan. ”
A brother left a message: "Blue balls! Isn't this your dad? ”
4. In Chinese class, teacher: Xiao Ming, please do an imitation sentence exercise with "If every drop of water can represent a blessing, then I will send you an ocean"!
God replied: If every flower represents a blessing, then I will send you a wreath!
5 I went to a physicist for help because my elbow hurt. "It's tennis elbow," he said. "I told him I never played tennis. Then he said, "That's golfer's elbow." "I told him again that I don't play golf either. He finally said, "Then this is the idle elbow caused by you being too lazy." ”
6 At noon, I went to the restaurant to eat noodles, there were a lot of people, I played the card and waited, slow!
At this time, a girl squeezed in after taking chopsticks and shouted: "Auntie, is my fried noodles dead?" Dead? ”
A bunch of people were happy, and the aunt returned very strangely: "Not dead, alive!" Dystocia. ”
7Recently, the company held a calligraphy contest, and I also participated. Unexpectedly, a company that produces machinery is actually the land of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. This one is written "Yan Gu", and the other is written "Liu Gu", which makes me feel quite stressed. After closing my eyes for a long time, I picked up my pen and wrote down five big words: "It's time to give out bonuses". The crowd unanimously agreed that my words touched their souls, and they were named champions.
8**Q: If you want to boil water in a kettle and you find that there is not enough firewood halfway through the fire, what should you do? Some said to find it quickly, some said to borrow, and some said to buy. Say: Why don't you pour some of the water out of the jug? The world is not always as good as it should be, and there is a gift to gain.
9 A group of men were drinking, and someone had a whim, and they each sent a text message to their wives, writing "I love you", to see how women of all ages reacted, but the result was very different!
The woman in her 20s replied, "I love you too!" ”
The woman in her 30s replied, "Did you drink too much?" ”
The woman in her 40s replied, "You're not sick, are you?" ”
The woman in her 50s replied, "Did you send the wrong person?" See how to clean you up when you come back! ”
The woman in her 60s replied, "Retirement, idle and panicked, isn't it?" Exercise and go! ”
The woman in her 70s didn't reply, and directly called her son**, "Your dad may not be in a few days, hurry up and prepare for the future!" ”
The woman in her 80s said to herself, "Alas, I must have forgotten to take Alzheimer's medicine today!" ”
10 went to the prospective father-in-law's house to get engaged, only to find out that the father-in-law was the sworn brother of the year!
Friends and four or five fellow villagers in the field contracted to do water and electricity, and then drank blood wine to worship their brothers, the day before yesterday went home to go to the parents and girlfriend who had never seen each other for four years to talk about the engagement, and found that the prospective father-in-law was his eldest brother.
At the end of the wine table, the friend picked up a full glass of wine, and said to his eldest brother in front of his parents and girlfriends, plus an elder with status: Brother, this is the last time I call you big brother, from then on, our brotherhood will be severed, and you will be my father in the future.