A very cruel truth: the more parents worry, the more unproductive their children become.
Xueba's parents are quite "lazy".
Parents have little to no idea about their children's grades and don't ask. They are also reassured.
On the contrary, it is the parents of scumbags, who work hard everywhere and worry everywhere.
A question that is not clear for half a day makes the family jump, and writing a homework is either playing with erasers or picking paper, and the parents work hard, and the whole family goes into battle to tutor together, but with little effect.
If the child lives in school, he can't wait to visit him three times a day, confiscate his mobile phone, and ask the class teacher to supervise him. Despite this, the child still secretly plays games and stays up late to watch**.
What's even more heartbreaking is that if you don't pay attention to it, your grades will drop all the way down.
Worry day and night, worry from small to big. Don't dare to let go for a moment.
Second, the more "diligent" the parents, the more unproductive the children.
The lazier the parents, the more diligent the children. The more parents interfere, the more unproductive the child becomes.
It is the interference of parents that makes children lose their internal drive to learn and their ability to be independent, so that they become more and more unproductive, and they will decline when they let go.
Pity the hearts of parents all over the world.
Many parents, for fear that their children will lose at the starting line, and when they are still infants, they begin to read ancient poems and listen to nursery rhymes.
When the child goes to school, as long as he has time, he will accompany the child to write homework, and I can't wait to stare at every word of the homework, and I will be relieved after checking it repeatedly.
Such children, because of their rich knowledge reserves, did have good grades when they first went to school.
But once you get to middle school, your parents can't help with your homework or can't control it, and your grades will plummet. He will even have no goals, no plans, no effort, and spend his high school and college years in a mess.
The parents of these children are generally puzzled: "I have worked so hard to provide such good conditions, and my children's grades were quite good when they were young, why are they not studying well now?" ”
The real reason is simple: the results that come out of the "tube" are not really good grades.
Or: your child's grades have never been "good" since childhood.
Third, a real scholar must have a good learning positive cycle experience from an early age.
Driven by spontaneous learning interest, independent learning and exploration, and have made certain achievements, inspired by a sense of achievement, overcome difficulties and form a positive cycle.
It can be compared with a few intuitive phenomena.
1.Is the child interested in the subject he or she is learning? Curious?
2.Does the child explore and learn on his own, or take the initiative to ask his parents and teachers for advice?
3.Does the child feel fulfilled through learning?
4.Will he be able to overcome the difficulties he encounters in his studies under the motivation of this sense of achievement?
Only when children have such a complete learning experience can they have fun in learning and grow spontaneously.
Regardless" is the best education.
Regardless of homework, let children experience the consequences of not completing homework seriously and being scolded by teachers, so that children can develop a good habit of independent learning and completing homework independently.
Regardless of the exam, children can not lie about the fear of failing the exam and being scolded by their parents, so that they can analyze their results rationally and objectively.
Regardless of volunteering, children can discover their favorite interests and majors, and make responsible decisions for their own lives.
I also understand that "no matter what" will lead to chickens and dogs jumping for a while.
If you don't do your homework well, you will go to school tomorrow and be scolded by the teacher. I won't scold you, but I can't be scolded for you, and only you can bear the consequences.
The choice is yours. From an early age, a person has to be responsible for the choices he makes.
This is fundamentally different from completely abandoning and not paying attention.
In fact, being such a parent is more challenging and tests the ability of parents than those parents who work hard everywhere.
The core word of this educational model is "respect". And a lot of parents can't.
Parents must realize that you can only guide your child's growth, not for it. After all, this road has to be walked by the children themselves.
As a parent, the best education you can provide is unconditional support and letting go.
A passage from Gibran in The Prophet:
Your children are not your children.
They are the children born of life's desire for itself.
They came into the world through you, but they did not come because of you, they are beside you, but they do not belong to you.
What you can give them is your love, but not your thoughts, because they have their own thoughts.
You can shelter their bodies, but not their souls, because their souls dwell high in the House of Tomorrow, where you can't visit, even in the land of dreams. ”
Education, in fact, is one after another letting go and parting.