It is said in the Book of Hunting"The wise man has the foresight in the unbudding, and the wise man avoids danger in the invisible; The causes of misfortune are mostly hidden in subtle ways, and they occur in people's ignorance. ”
Tangible things can be seen and used by anyone; Intangible things are not visible to everyone, but they do affect people's destiny and even the development of families.
Therefore, parents hope that their children will be successful, not only to imitate everyone's practices, but also to take a long-term view of the development of their children after adulthood.
The pattern of parents, the outcome of children", the effect of which often appearsThe middle age of the children, don't be careless.
Parents who are unable to retire increase the financial burden on their children.
For middle-aged people, whether the family is happy and harmonious is inextricably linked to whether the parents have a pension or not.
My cousin, Xiao Li, is the only child in the family, and his wife is also an only child.
After marriage, Xiao Li had two children. He works in a public institution, and his wife is the ** of a township health center. The monthly income of the two is about 7,000.
One day, Xiao Li complained"My income, very stable, is stable and poor. ”
It turned out that the two children in the family were going to school, but the parents were in the hospital. It is a trivial matter that there is no one to pick up and drop off the child, and there is no one to take care of the parents and no one to bear the medical expenses, which is a big thing.
I really can't imagine how middle-aged people can survive the pressure of two children, four elderly people, and mortgages.
Relatively speaking, the elderly have a pension, do not rely on their children financially, and can often give their children some pocket money, and they can also pay for reunion dinners during the New Year's holidays. The financial pressure on the children is much smaller.
Whether the elderly parents retire or not is not groundless, but the pattern of the parents when they were young.
Parents who have a big picture will work hard, make more money, and prepare to support their own retirement.
When children reach middle age, they should only take care of themselves, and they should be more likely to run for the future. Even if you mix badly, you don't have to worry about eating and drinking, your parents' home is the best harbor.
Parents who are very eccentric cannot raise children who are united.
Most middle-aged people can cite a lot of the scourge of parental partiality.
Parents give money to one child but ask all the children to help with the old age, or ask for alimony for children who have not received money. It's a balance that upsets people's hearts.
Parents prefer sons over daughters, daughters are not supported by their parents when they study, and getting married has become an opportunity for parents to ask for a bride price. When her daughter got married, she was cut off from her mother's family.
Parents treat a certain child as a baby, and they will respond to their needs, and most of them will be raised. There are losers in the family, parents are sad, and brothers and sisters are suffering.
The saddest thing is that parents ask for alimony from rich children, and as soon as they change hands, they give it to the poor, ruined children. No one thinks that parents are very virtuous.
The human heart is a scale, the heart is good, balanced, you can be positive, the heart is hurt by the parents, the relationship with relatives is not good, and the family will lose the joint force.
Brothers and sisters see each other and quarrel once, how can they have any chances? This is that the educational landscape of parents is too small. In other words, the parents are condescending and too self-righteous.
Parents who do not take care of their bodies cannot continue to take care of their children.
Parents get sick, it's something that can't be avoided. But after getting sick, whether there is medical insurance or not, and whether it can get better quickly, affects the lives of children.
Netizen "Miscellaneous Servant" talked about the process of resigning from his job in the system.
His hometown is in the south, but he works as a civil servant somewhere in Xinjiang, and his salary is also good.
The parents in his hometown touch his heart all the time.
One day, he returned to his hometown and found that there were already bugs on the leftovers on his parents' table. Suddenly, he had plans to quit his job to take care of his parents.
The second time I resigned, my mother had long-term diabetes, which caused coronary heart disease, and she fell in the toilet.
The father took the mother to the hospital, but the father was overwhelmed because the father already had a mild form of Alzheimer's.
Originally, the future of netizens was immeasurable, but the illness of his parents made him choose to give up his job and go home to fulfill his filial piety.
There are many similar stories, all of which embody filial piety. But from another perspective, after the parents are gone, how can the children find jobs?
In other words, in order to take care of their parents, children leave the workplace, and they slowly become disconnected from society, and the road for the rest of their lives is really difficult.
There is no filial son in front of the bed for a long time", this is a very cruel reality, but the scourge of illness is also incisive.
The health of parents is not a matter of one sentence, but the accumulation of years of exercise and maintenance.
Once the body is well maintained and the child lives to the age of 70 in good health, the child will smoothly reach the age of 50. In the future, even if the parents are sick, it will be convenient for the children to make arrangements.
Parents who are always divorced have a wrong view of marriage for their children.
There is a topic on Zhihu: Why don't you marry children from single-parent families?
Everyone listed four reasons why children from single-parent families are unreliable.
First, I watched my parents make noise since I was a child, so I didn't trust my marriage enough when I grew up.
Second, when encountering conflicts between husband and wife, in addition to verbal wars, just like the parents back then.
Third, in marriage, he is too rational and always wants to "divorce if it's a big deal".
Fourth, it is very close to a relative in the family, father or mother, so the family relationship is missing.
Of course, for children from single-parent families, it cannot be said that it is "useless", but relatively speaking, the relationship is incomplete, the concept of love is deviated, and the probability is greater.
In addition, after marrying a child from a single-parent family, the family relationship is more complicated and difficult to deal with.
When young couples reach middle age, they are still irritable because of their marriage, and they are interfered by their divorced parents, and there are many obstacles to their future.
When we sing the praises of parents, we must also see that some parents have become a hurdle in the development of their children, and they cannot get over it.
Parents don't have a pattern, so they only know how to feed their children, and let their children go to society when they grow up. As for how the children can spend middle age, find a good job, a partner, and help the children take care of the baby, there is no consideration.
As long as parents live, they are the guides of their children. Although, when the children become adults, the parents let go, but the love continues, and the family business and family style are inherited.
The first step of a child is supported by the parents, and the children's cognition of society is educated by the parents, how can the parents only think about the present?
Parents who can read let their children stand on the shoulders of giants.
Parents who are well married let their children feel the charm of love.
Parents who can retire reduce the financial pressure on their children.
Parents who live a long and healthy life let their children enjoy more care.
Parents are in one day, children are blessed for one day, and each generation is stronger than the next.