Put a crab in the bamboo basket and the crab quickly crawls out.
After placing a group of crabs in the bamboo basket, the crabs pull each other, and even if a brave crab climbs to the edge, it will be pulled back.
There are too many crabs, and there is no "strength in numbers", but a rabble, resulting in no one being able to get out of the bamboo basket.
This is known as the "Crab Law".
In a family, there are several relatives.
You think that everyone will lift each other up, cooperate and get out of the situation quickly, but you are likely to be disappointed.
Therefore, when you have a lot of ability, you are the vanguard at home, but you continue to get better, you must understand the crab law.
No matter how great your ability is, you can't bring all your relatives.
Pavlov, the founder of advanced neuroactive physiology and the architect of the theory of conditioning, was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physiology.
When we envy Pavlov's achievements, we should take a look at his experience.
While studying the saliva secretion of dogs, he discovered the conditioned reflex. However, the specific situation needs to be further studied and demonstrated.
Just as he was concentrating on the experiment, his parents came up to him and said, "I have to arrange a job for my younger brother, who has been unemployed for a long time." ”
The parents also said, "You can observe your brother's saliva secretion, so that you can do experiments, and your brother can get money, killing two birds with one stone." ”
Listening to his parents, this is the minimum filial piety, and Pavlov can only do what his parents say.
The younger brother Nikolai was very cooperative with Paplov at first, appeared when he heard the bell, and was willing to eat something related to the experiment.
After a while, my brother thought that the food provided by the experiment was too poor, and that "my brother thought I was a dog". So, the younger brother began to rebel, and he preached everywhere that he had discovered the conditioned reflex.
In desperation, Pavlov found a male shepherd dog as the subject of the experiment, and finally succeeded.
Of course, the relationship between the brothers also broke up.
In real life, some people set up their own companies or factories, arranging their parents to be doormen, their elder brother to be supervisors, their sisters to be cashiers, their younger sisters to be salesmen, and even uncles, cousins, nephews and others to participate in it.
A good company has become a family workshop, and the company's leader has no way to call the shots. For example, if you have to buy goods at night, you may be embarrassed to ask your father, who is sleeping in the guard room, to get up and open the door.
All kinds of emotions, entangled in a career, are like emotional kidnapping, making you very uncomfortable and unable to move.
What's even worse is that when you meet Adou who can't be helped, you can't arrange what he does except pick it up and give it to him. If there are a few more Adou in the company, it is estimated that it will collapse.
You can pull a hundred pounds, but you can't pull a thousand pounds. It's not a good thing that your loved ones are behind you and pulling you one by one.
The greater the ability, the more jealous your relatives will be.
"Caigen Tan" has a saying: "Jealousy, flesh and blood are especially ruthless to outsiders." ”Kiss or not, how can a family be jealous of each other and tear each other off? It's unthinkable.
If you are rich, or if there is something in the family that stands out and surpasses your siblings, that's a good thing. And brothers and sisters can share such good deeds.
When we reach a certain age and experience friction between relatives, we will find that if you mix well, your relatives will also be jealous of you; You mix badly, and your relatives will despise you.
During the Three Kingdoms, Lu An, a famous man in Cao Weili, married the beautiful Xu family.
His brother Lu Xun, coveting Xu's beauty, drunk Xu with wine, and then defiled it.
After that, Lu Xun did not repent, but went to the yamen to complain, saying that Lu An was not filial to his parents.
Lü Xun also united with the powerful minister Zhonghui to frame Lü An and Lü An's friend Ji Kang. In the end, the tragedy of "Guangling dispersion" was triggered.
Rabindranath Tagore said, "Lonely flowers, do not envy the dense thorns." ”I'd rather be alone than show your skills, so as to avoid the other party taking out sharp thorns and making you hurt.
You walk in the front, but there are crabs in the back that raise their pincers and are ready to deal with you, are you afraid?
During the holidays, relatives will get together, and they will talk about this year's income, whether they have bought a house, their work situation, etc. If you mix better than everyone else, and you're much stronger, someone will put on a "dismissive" look and say something sarcastic.
For example, if you are rich and you are eating at home, your brother will say, "I don't see how much money you have lent me; I don't see you taking your parents home to raise them.
Low-key is a virtue, learning to disguise is wisdom, and the same is true for relatives to get along.
Hide your skills and learn to walk alone.
When a group of crabs are together, you will find that there are always some crabs, obscure behind the back, even in a different direction from everyone.
There are also some crabs who, after being injured, become unsociable.
Lin Chong in "Water Margin" is the head of the forbidden army, but he was calculated by his best friend Lu Qian.
Lu Qian tricked Lin Chong aside, and then gave the traitor Gao Yanei a chance to get close to Lin Chong's wife, Zhang.
In Liangshan, Wang Lun, the owner of the village, was jealous of Lin Chong's ability and made things difficult many times.
When Chao Gai and others also arrived in Liangshan, Wang Lun tried to stop it.
In the end, Lin Chong destroyed Wang Lun and Lu Qian.
The story of "tearful annihilation", **, there are also in real life, throughout the ages, many emperors, in order to compete for the throne, brothers scrambled.
Cao Pi and Cao Zhi fought for the throne for a long time, forcing Cao Zhi to write "Seven Steps Poem".
At the end of the day, we finally understoodThe family is divided, and the tree is divided.
When you have the ability, you should stay away from your family and do it yourself. Even if your brothers and sisters defect to you, they are still as partners or subordinates, and they leave their feelings farther away.
Crabs are low-end animals and are not intelligent enough.
Man is a higher animal and has wisdom, so he should not use brute force against his relatives, but with skill.
When you are entangled by your loved ones, you should do three things:Keep your distance, preside over the separation, and help in moderation.
Sociologist Sun Liping said a concept: the bottom has fallen.
People at the bottom are easy to fall into a melee mode, and they can't see the distance clearly, and they don't have long-term thinking. Everyone spends a lot of energy on each other's harm.
Life is not an island, you need someone to help others, but it is not necessarily your relatives who help.