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When I went home for dinner on the weekend, I asked my mother, "Mom, if you choose a marriage partner, should I find someone who likes me or someone I like?" ”
My mother glanced at her and said, "Of course it's someone you like!" ”
I secretly rejoiced and asked, "Why?" ”
Mom: "Mom thinks no one will like you!" Otherwise, you're thirty, and you won't be able to get married. ”
I thought to myself: Is this my own mother?
Watch the commercial on TV "Get up in the morning and shout Wangwang, the New Year will be prosperous!" ”
I got up this morning, lifted the quilt and stood up and shouted: Want Want....
When I went to breakfast, I saw the neighbor's old couple walking in front, and I was going to say hello, but I didn't want to hear the aunt say, "The son of the Lao Pu family is crazy, and he learns to bark ...... dog early in the morning."”
A primary school teacher said to her boyfriend, "I included the letter you wrote last time in the Chinese midterm exam paper. This question is a comprehensive test of students' language proficiency. The boyfriend asked, "Really?" Do you ask them to analyze grammar or explain idioms? The primary school teacher replied, "I'll let them correct their mistakes!" ”
I took my niece to take a bath today, I had a big birthmark on my back, and my niece saw it and said, Auntie, I won't make grandma angry again in the future, I said why, she said you see how ruthless grandma is, and beat your back like this!
A Qin, a new female employee of the company, has not yet arranged a place to live because it has just been reported today. The boss trusts my character very much, so he asked me, Dumb, anyway, you live in a three-bedroom and two-hall house alone, or Ah Qin will deal with you for one night tonight? After hearing this, Ah Qin looked at me with bright eyes, and I replied indifferently: "Men and women don't kiss." With Aqin's gloomy eyes, I walked away. I knew that I should pack up my clothes in the living room first.
A family is in the middle of a new house, and everyone asks the bride and groom to talk about how they met and got married. The bride said shyly, "We are in free love." The bridegroom hurriedly added: "Yes, it is free love, and I have given all my savings for more than ten years to your mother, so that you can be free." ”
Yesterday I drove out and encountered a small rear-end collision at the intersection. The two drivers got out of the car and met, the driver of the rear car took out 100 yuan, very calmly gave the car in front, the driver of the front car did not say a word and went straight to the commissary, came back to find 50 yuan to the driver of the rear car, the two shook hands and flashed people, and did not use a traffic light time before and after.
Wife: "Husband, if someone buys me for 10 million, will you sell it?" Husband: "Of course not!" The wife was very happy, kissed her husband fiercely, and asked, "Why?" Husband: "You are not worth 10 million, I don't earn this kind of unconscionable money!" ”
went to eat a small hot pot, and the waiter recommended the bottom of their Pu'er tea health pot. There was a tuo of Pu'er tea in the white water pot, and I asked the waiter, "Pour me some tea to drink!" The waiter looked at the bottom of my pot and said, "The bottom of the Pu'er tea pot you ordered, the water will boil for a while, you can drink the soup, it's better than our tea!" I looked at the waitress with a sincere face, and suddenly I felt that what she said made sense!
Every time I meet the girl I like on the bus, I decided to ask her *** and confess to her again!
In the morning, I still got on the bus, and the girl I had been in love with for a long time appeared on the bus, and today I finally mustered up the courage and handed her the note I had written in advance:
I want to be friends with you, and if you want, please send the note back, or else please throw it out the window and let it go with the wind!
It didn't take long for her to send the note back, and my heart was beating with excitement, and I couldn't help but feel "secretly happy......"Looks like I'm still very attractive! ......Hee ......The corners of his mouth rose slightly, and he opened the note confidently, with a victorious attitude, and opened it to see .........Didn't write anything?
Then she turned to me and said, "It's too cold in winter for the windows to open, and I don't have a pen with me!" You know what I mean? “
Yes! I was so sad! Woo
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